Living sponsor vs. being sponsored by a ghost

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?

Living sponsor vs. being sponsored by a ghost

Postby IDontNeedASponsor » Mon Apr 18, 2016 4:15 pm

I just re-read the pamphlet "Questions and Answers on Sponsorship", and I notice it doesn't specify whether or not the sponsor has to be living.

The reason I am asking this is because a friend of mine that I've known for 4 years passed away last week, and after I found out about his death, I asked his ghost if he could be my sponsor, and he said yes.

I even have a toy smartphone that I bought at a dollar store that I can use to communicate with him.
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Re: Living sponsor vs. being sponsored by a ghost

Postby Reborn » Mon Apr 18, 2016 4:49 pm

Why such a deep seeded resentment against sponsorship? I'm assuming that you never had one? So why does it matter to you if others do? Your poor attempt at humor helps no one.
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132
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Re: Living sponsor vs. being sponsored by a ghost

Postby IDontNeedASponsor » Mon Apr 18, 2016 5:12 pm

Reborn wrote:Why such a deep seeded resentment against sponsorship?


I don't have a resentment against other people having sponsors.
I only have a resentment towards other people trying to bully me into getting one.

I'm assuming that you never had one?


I had a sponsor who was a nice guy. He relapsed.
I had another sponsor who was a nice guy. He relapsed.
I had an informal sponsor whom I talked to but didn't do the steps with. He wouldn't take me through the steps since he's more into outside literature.
I was in a step group. It folded halfway through the steps because the facilitator got married and had a baby.
I was in another step group briefly. I quit because I relapsed after doing Steps 1 & 2, and the facilitator made me go back to Step 1 and wouldn't let me move on to Step 3.
So, I choose to do what I feel is best for me.

So why does it matter to you if others do?


It doesn't.

Your poor attempt at humor helps no one.


I wasn't trying to be humorous, I was being 100% serious.
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Re: Living sponsor vs. being sponsored by a ghost

Postby Brock » Mon Apr 18, 2016 5:15 pm

Of course I agree with Reborn, and I am a recovered alcoholic who never had a sponsor.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Living sponsor vs. being sponsored by a ghost

Postby Spirit Flower » Mon Apr 18, 2016 6:01 pm

In my first 15 years of sobriety, I had several sponsors; they are all still sober or died sober. I am still sober for 30 years now.
Go figure.
...a score card reading zero...
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Re: Living sponsor vs. being sponsored by a ghost

Postby Noels » Tue Apr 19, 2016 6:59 am

Hi "I don't need a sponsor" - :lol: youre killing me . After your 2nd post though I kind of understand your feelings about a sponsor as you seem to have had a bit of a raw deal so far where sponsors are concerned. However, remember you are the one who chose those sponsors so perhaps this is an indication that you should rather either wait a bit before choosing or choose a member who is not necessarily a nice guy but have been sober for a few years - (preferably more than 2 years i'd say), makes sense when he speaks and knows about life, the big book AND the 12 steps ?
Also remember that a sponsor is an ordinary person. They also have defects of character which they are working on and apart from that - your sponsor is not supposed to keep you sober. A sponsor is only there to guide you on the steps BUT having a few years of sobriety under their belt, have lived life as a sober individual already for some time which usually result in them having very good advice on situations you may find yourself in.
Hope this helps and hold on to your humor. Just because we are sober does not mean we don't laugh - lots. :D :D :D
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Re: Living sponsor vs. being sponsored by a ghost

Postby clouds » Tue Apr 19, 2016 9:00 am

I wanted someone with a lot of years of sobriety because I figured if they could stay sober through a few of life's tumbles they must know what they are doing.
5 years of sobriety seemed like a lot to me, so the sponsor I chose to tell me about how she got sober by doing these steps was over 5 years sober. She was happy and relaxed. She wasn't a perfect human being, but whatever, she got me doing these 12 steps and I got sober.
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: Living sponsor vs. being sponsored by a ghost

Postby Roberth » Wed Apr 20, 2016 11:38 am

My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. Whenever Bill W. was asked who was his sponsor was he always answered Ebby T. Bill also befriended Rev. Sam Shoemaker (a nonalcoholic) who became a great spiritual source for him. Bill got many ideas from the Rev. Shoemaker but always considered him as a friend and spiritual advisor.
It was Ebby the introduced him to what would become the 12 step of AA which he considered his sponsor.
As for me it took three months for a sponsor to get me. He was a guy I use to drink with that I ask came over to my house and talk about AA. I don’t remember much of what we talk about but as he was leaving he told me “as your sponsor I would not tell you what to do only what I would do.” Then he close the door and left without giving me a chance to say no.
Like Ebby, Jim introduced me to the principles behind the steps by taking me through them. He set my foundation in AA that has been working well for me for the last 24 years. I haven’t seen Jim for over 20 years but I still considered him as my sponsor.
I have asked to many people for advice but no one in AA has done more for me that he did which was pass on the same simple program that was given to him, nothing more and nothing less
Robert
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