Looking for a new sponsor and guidance

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?
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Looking for a new sponsor and guidance

Post by porcupine »

I'm about 6 weeks into the program. Had a relapse at 4 weeks on drugs so I set my sobriety back to 0. Now at almost 7 weeks without touching the bottle and incredibly have not had a single desire to do so since beginning the program.

I got a 'temporary sponsor' who has helped a lot but haven't really started step work seriously. I struggle with step 1 and 2 being intellectual and battle with the 'symptoms' of alcoholism and then 'what I have instead'.

I need some guidance in choosing a sponsor. I have a couple in mind but I don't want to burden them and I want to find a good fit - someone who isn't a park bench rock bottom, someone who I can speak to clearly, someone who hasn't started to lose their mind, someone who has a few years up and gets the steps and the meanings.

To be honest I also need to choose a good group. The groups I go to are grea, the people are lovely, but there are a lot of real old timers who are just clocking up the 10+ years, new comers that vanish within a week and a mix in between that I find very few that I can click with.

Am I overthinking this? I really just want to get this program to work for me and whilst I love going to meetings, sharing and contributing, I can feel the hole that needs to be filled with the program.

Thanks for listening,


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Re: Looking for a new sponsor and guidance

Post by positrac »

Go to meetings and listen and you'll know when you have the right person to assist in sponsorship and steps if they accept. I would suggest that this individual should have and use a sponsor in order for this process to be effective for all of yous.
Being powerless is not such a bad thing . I mean this is not like being in some fight or flight situation and all you need is to relax and accept what you can and the rest will follow.

best of success on the sponsor search.
Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It's the best part of the day.
George Allen, Sr.

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Re: Looking for a new sponsor and guidance

Post by Db1105 »

AAWS has a pamphlet 'Questions and Answers on Sponsorship"" which is a good guide about sponsorship. You can read it online here:


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Re: Looking for a new sponsor and guidance

Post by tyg »

If you want to recover, this is a program of doing....can't get well having this stuff on our "To Do" list or thinking about it.
Jump in man! Pick any group and get into service there. Get through ALL the 12 Steps....take charge, grab sobriety by the Balls and, just do it!

What makes a good sponsor (temporary or not)?
They want to meet regularly and get their sponsees through the 12 Steps so they can have a complete psychic change. Alcoholics rarely recover without it. What creates this psychic change (aka spiritual awakening)? We take the 12 Steps and then apply them daily. Until this is done, the unmanageable life continues and the alcoholic is dangerously at risk of relapsing.
~The secret to the AA program is the first three words on page 112~


Re: Looking for a new sponsor and guidance

Post by Noels »

Good afternoon Porcupine :D nice to meet you :D
The only other thing I can add to the suggestions already made is first a question : do you find that you mostly use drugs only once you've had a drink or do you use even without a drink?
This is very important to ascertain which meetings would be best for your recovery. I'm friends with many members with dual addiction and the ones who can use without having drink first now attend and progress better since they attend the NA meetings rather than the AA meetings. The sponsors they have found at the NA meetings understand both alcohol and narcotics whereas the AA sponsors could not really relate to the drug addiction side of the addiction.
Although the same steps are applied for recovery you need someone who understands the entire addiction to ensure most progress and recovery.
Good luck and you're always welcome here to chat some more.
Love and light

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