Sponsorship Question

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?

Re: Sponsorship Question

Postby DennisD » Fri Apr 08, 2016 2:10 pm

I was also under the impression that one needed a sponsor when I first started attending. However, I realized quickly that some do not. It seems like the old timers in my group all do as they were taught this way.

I do not have a sponsor yet either but I suspect I will be looking for one soon. I was encouraged to look around the rooms and wait a while (as there are those that are not regular attendees) to see who I may be interested in. Our groups seem to encourage asking someone directly if you have an idea who might be willing.

For now, I have the numbers of everyone that was at the first meeting I attended and I am welcome to phone them anytime if I need help or have questions. They certainly have not let me go it alone (when not at meetings).
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Re: Sponsorship Question

Postby Lali » Sat Apr 09, 2016 9:18 pm

You can do the steps on your own and just utilize another person for your step 5. It's really a personal choice whether you want to do it on your own or not. I, personally, wanted someone who had experience working the steps to guide me. I felt like it would be more thorough with someone helping me.

Either way, don't dilly dally too long. Working the steps gives us that spiritual awakening we need to stay sober. Willpower only works for so long. (If willpower worked, none of us would be here!)

Good luck.
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Re: Sponsorship Question

Postby DennisD » Sun Apr 10, 2016 6:23 pm

Lali wrote:You can do the steps on your own and just utilize another person for your step 5. It's really a personal choice whether you want to do it on your own or not. I, personally, wanted someone who had experience working the steps to guide me. I felt like it would be more thorough with someone helping me.

Either way, don't dilly dally too long. Working the steps gives us that spiritual awakening we need to stay sober. Willpower only works for so long. (If willpower worked, none of us would be here!)


I think I would like to have a sponsor so I'm going to start working on that very soon. I do feel like I've made a lot of progress since I've started attending meetings, however you are right that willpower only works for so long.
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Re: Sponsorship Question

Postby Larryp713 » Wed Apr 13, 2016 7:56 am

I think for people who really plug into the program and fellowship and work with others, and also are naturally emotionally stable, they probably don't need a sponsor and can work this program. They only need a trusted person they can confide their 5th step to, somebody who can honestly help them see their part in their resentments, fears, etc...

I needed a sponsor because I am not emotionally stable and need additional accountability. On my own, I would get bored after the sting of the last drunk faded and I would stop going. I love the fact that I can pick my own sponsor, and if I feel my sponsor isn't helping me spiritually grow I can make a change. But I need to be honest with my dealings with him. If I just don't like what he has to tell me, I am trying to run the show. If I am following his guidance and I don't feel like I am spiritually growing, then I probably need a new sponsor. That has been my experience. I don't necessarily like what my sponsor tells me, but working with him has helped me grow spiritually.

Best of luck, and thanks for sharing! Larry
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Re: Sponsorship Question

Postby PaigeB » Wed Apr 13, 2016 10:25 am

Having a sponsor helps both the sponsor & the sponsee.

Get a sponsor and consider it 12th Step work! Remember, on page 89, the first words of the first paragraph of Working With Others, it says, "Practical experience shows us that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with another alcoholic. It works when other activities fail... Life will take on new meaning."

It does not specifically say we have to be working with newcomers, but you gather that from the rest of the paragraph. It is my own practical experience that when I work with my sponsees, I gain a lot more than I expected!
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Re: Sponsorship Question

Postby DennisD » Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:53 am

So I see a lot of people call this Step 12 work. I certainly she that is important once arriving at that stage. I think this also falls in to the Service part of the three legacies.

I've been helping others already by driving them home from meetings. I've been told that this is part of me already embracing the service part of the Legacies.

Maybe I am off base but I think they fall in line. :)
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Re: Sponsorship Question

Postby Brock » Thu Apr 14, 2016 8:43 am

I've been told that this is part of me already embracing the service part of the Legacies.

I certainly think it is, while I respect the opinion of those who don't too much care for the 'other' book the 12 & 12, I believe it does answer some of these types of questions, questions which became apparent as having not been adequately answered in the big book, here is part of what it says on step 12 -
Nor is this the only kind of Twelfth Step work. We sit in A.A. meetings and listen, not only to receive something ourselves, but to give the reassurance and support which our presence can bring. If our turn comes to speak at a meeting, we again try to carry A.A.'s message. Whether our audience is one or many, it is still Twelfth Step work. There are many opportunities even for those of us who feel unable to speak at meetings or who are so situated that we cannot do much face-to-face Twelfth Step work. We can be the ones who take on the unspectacular but important tasks that make good Twelfth Step work possible, perhaps arranging for the coffee and cake after the meetings, where so many skeptical, suspicious newcomers have found confidence and comfort in the laughter and talk. This is Twelfth Step work in the very best sense of the word. “Freely ye have received; freely give . . .” is the core of this part of Step Twelve.
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Re: Sponsorship Question

Postby DennisD » Thu Apr 14, 2016 9:21 am

Brock wrote:
I've been told that this is part of me already embracing the service part of the Legacies.

I certainly think it is, while I respect the opinion of those who don't too much care for the 'other' book the 12 & 12, I believe it does answer some of these types of questions, questions which became apparent as having not been adequately answered in the big book, here is part of what it says on step 12 -
Nor is this the only kind of Twelfth Step work. We sit in A.A. meetings and listen, not only to receive something ourselves, but to give the reassurance and support which our presence can bring. If our turn comes to speak at a meeting, we again try to carry A.A.'s message. Whether our audience is one or many, it is still Twelfth Step work. There are many opportunities even for those of us who feel unable to speak at meetings or who are so situated that we cannot do much face-to-face Twelfth Step work. We can be the ones who take on the unspectacular but important tasks that make good Twelfth Step work possible, perhaps arranging for the coffee and cake after the meetings, where so many skeptical, suspicious newcomers have found confidence and comfort in the laughter and talk. This is Twelfth Step work in the very best sense of the word. “Freely ye have received; freely give . . .” is the core of this part of Step Twelve.


Thanks Brock. I do intend on reading 12 & 12 once I get a bit further along.
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