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Re: Playing God -- drawing the line?

Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2015 5:25 pm
by desypete
i was so lucky to have aa memeber that carried me in early days as i had nothing but a place to sleep, no money no family, kids in foster care no driving license etc i was on the seat of my back side

the place i had to sleep in was a flat that was given to me by a homeless type of organization in a way to try to help me with my failed life, i had been to prison for my drunken ways, i even tried to kidnap my kids from foster care whilst drunk so i was treated as a danger to my kids etc

like i say i know just how lucky i was to have aa memebers that really worked there 12 step on me

they gave me kindness that i can never repay and they gave me hope that one day maybe things in my life might be different

they took me around meetings for while and then let me go and i had to make my own way to meetings which i did, i would sneak on trians without paying in the early days just to get to a meeting i went to meetings everyday many times twice a day as it was the only place i felt safe

i would pour out all my troubles over the aa table it makes me laugh today to think of the rubbish i would come out with but the fact is i had somewhere to unload my guilt as my main problem was the gullt and shame i had with my kids being in care

how did i end up in such a mess ? simple i am an alcoholic and its what happens to alcoholics if they dont have help

within 6 months i had got a job thanks again to an aa memeber who fixed me up with a job, from there i got a car and could now travel to meetings in style lol i will always remember going to my first aa meeting in my own car

after 12 months the social services gave me my kids back it was the happiest day of my life and i became a sinlge parent dad holding down a job and started to get active in aa

all thanks to those aa members who put themselves out to help me

those members who didn't do anything i would owe them nothing they have there own heads to deal with when it comes to how they work there 12th step

if there not going to carry the weak then i guess they can focus on the stronger and let the weak ones end up in homeless shelters or of course die from it

i have been shown how to work a 12th step simply by giving out what was given to me

of course some people will abuse kindness and i would go to any lenths to help a new comer but after a few meetings and if they were in a good postion i can let them go there own way as the job is done we show them to doors of aa and then let them find there feet
unless of course there really down on there luck then i do a bit more or give more of my time

as for your guy, you have given him 3 years so i think its safe to let him go his own way
if he wants aa he can find his own way there and if he doesn't well thats his choice and no need for you to feel like you will have done anything wrong as you have done good for so long

so let him go just like the people in aa let me once i had my feet,

Re: Playing God -- drawing the line?

Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2015 6:29 am
by tomsteve
Jersey Rich wrote:Thank you for your kind responses. It is hard for me to separate out the sponsor's role from the role of "benevolent parent"! as my sponsor notes often, it is easier to focus on someone else's issues rather than my own!
I can relate to that. I have codependent tendencies myself.
I must remember that there is a line where helping and enabling meet. When I'm not allowing someone to take accountability/ responsability for their recovery I am enabling them to continue the same behavior that got em drunk.

Re: Playing God -- drawing the line?

Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2015 10:32 pm
by Service
Your catching on !! :idea: