Sponsors Giving "Willingness Tests"?

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?
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AlisonT
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Re: Sponsors Giving "Willingness Tests"?

Post by AlisonT » Wed Sep 11, 2013 7:18 am

I think one thing that is extremely necessary to point out here is that sponsorship is not a marriage. If you don't like the way your sponsor is sponsoring you, find a new one. There are many different ways of sponsoring. I don't give any directions to my sponsees that I don't have a reason for and I am completely willing to not only discuss my reasons with them but also to listen to their ideas if they think they have something that might work better.

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Ida
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Re: Sponsors Giving "Willingness Tests"?

Post by Ida » Wed Sep 11, 2013 7:42 pm

Yeah, my sponsor gave me willingness tests. Nothing crazy, but she made me call her once a day every day for the first 30 days before she would agree to sponsor me (that should have been my first sign). She would also tell me to mark certain things in my book with certain colors of ink (colors hard to find in a town with only a few hundred people). If I missed a meeting, I had to call her like I was calling into work. It became apparent that it was a dysfunctional situation, and I got out. Small town, so no new sponsor. Maybe I'm worse off without a sponsor, but I'm definitely better off without one like the ones I've had in the past. But I could see it as a good thing if it was done from a more proper perspective and respect of one another.

Service
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Re: Sponsors Giving "Willingness Tests"?

Post by Service » Thu Sep 12, 2013 2:07 pm

A few pass the test and can let go and let God others need to be Govern/Mentally told instead of the Personal willingness to do what they should of been doing LOOOOOOONG AGOOOOOOOOOOO. :D

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Tosh
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Re: Sponsors Giving "Willingness Tests"?

Post by Tosh » Thu Sep 12, 2013 4:18 pm

Service wrote:A few pass the test and can let go and let God others need to be Govern/Mentally told instead of the Personal willingness to do what they should of been doing LOOOOOOONG AGOOOOOOOOOOO. :D
Service, when the Big Book says:
PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail.
What does that mean to you?
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)

Service
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Re: Sponsors Giving "Willingness Tests"?

Post by Service » Sun Sep 22, 2013 2:26 pm

A question came up the other day from a sincere new comer asking the question how and when did you know you were an alcoholic? - an answer came back that there is only one way to know and that is when you don't have to be told or reminded !!

So many agnostic religious controllers think the message is about guiding someone who is already sober and here, instead of really helping someone who is not here. Amazing the amount of religious agnostic still thinking their being of service when they not help anyone get here Re; Introducing them to A.A instead of being religious on the weak one who still cling to people, places and things thinking it's what A.A. is about !! AMAZING the craze that is being preached as some think its leached or teached

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Tosh
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Re: Sponsors Giving "Willingness Tests"?

Post by Tosh » Sun Sep 22, 2013 3:14 pm

Service,

This pamphlet may help you understand the concept of sponsorship in A.A.:

http://www.aa.org/pdf/products/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)

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leejosepho
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Re: Sponsors Giving "Willingness Tests"?

Post by leejosepho » Mon Oct 05, 2015 7:27 am

Karl R wrote:I'd fire a sponsor who demanded "obedience" (ego anyone?).
I did once find myself in a situation similar to that where compliance with a given "script" of some sort (at least as I perceived things) seemed to be a deciding factor related to whether or not I seemed "willing to go to any length to get" (page 58) whatever. Bullying can have many forms, and even when one's intent or motive might be good.
FeenixxRising wrote:I've now heard a number of stories about sponsors giving sponsees "willingness tests". For example, telling a sponsee to park at the far end of the parking lot and then pick up all the liter before coming into the meeting...told to wear different color clothing or park on the other side of the street...to test the sponsee's willingness...
I was "tested" a bit like that by my first sponsor and his wife who sponsored several of us together, but there was never any element, thought or demand of "obedience" involved. In fact, we were told just showing up for meetings on a regular basis was enough to "convince them" of our willingness. However...

Those two people first got sober in a halfway-house setting with some rather strict policies and where the idea of "a haircut and a shave" had been ingrained into them. So, my not-so-cropped hair and a full beard did get an occasional mention. As unfair or "you have no right" as it had seemed at the time, one evening after a meeting my sponsor's wife and I had this bit of conversation:

she: "Joe, just a simply question: What would you say if I asked whether you are willing shave your beard?"
me: "What the 'ell does my beard have to do with staying sober?!"
she: "Nothing at all, and I had only asked whether you are willing."

There days later I stood at the mirror with clippers-in-hand while looking around the room for some kind of goat stuck in a bush, but I was the only one there. As I walked into the meeting room later that night, every one of those people had already made quite certain nobody would even notice my baby face or say a single word about the missing beard...and thus did I know those people had been telling the truth when they had said they cared more about me than even I could.
=======================
"We A.A.s do not *stay* away from drinking [one day at a
time] -- we *grow* away from drinking [one day at a time]."
("Lois Remembers", page 168, quoting Bill, emphasis added)
=======================

Service
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Re: Sponsors Giving "Willingness Tests"?

Post by Service » Mon Oct 05, 2015 11:32 pm

"Willingness test" LOL prostitutes have wildness would you not say?

Try "PERSONAL WILLINGNESS" PERSONAL is a clear word and so is INSIDE JOB

Why do people divert people already here from their PERSONAL WILLINGNESS ? To fix them? LOL

If you have to be asked it may be willingness but not PERSONAL! Take a closer look the conditioned will have a hard time :idea:

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