Seeking guidance to work the steps via mail / phone / email.

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?
JeffD
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Seeking guidance to work the steps via mail / phone / email.

Post by JeffD » Sun Dec 30, 2012 5:23 pm

Greetings,

I have sober 11 years and I am interested in finding a female (with more sobriety than me, over 20 years) to help me work through the steps. I have never had a female sponsor. I know that it is common in some groups for males to sponsor men and women. However, I have never heard of the reverse situation. I have a significant other. I am simply interested in the experience. I have worked the 12 steps with many men and get something different each time from each person. I do have a male sponsor in my homegroup where I live. Please, if you do not agree with this, it is of no use to tell me so in subsequent posts! Thank you!
Last edited by JeffD on Sun Dec 30, 2012 6:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Tommy-S
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Re: Seeking Female Sponsor to help work the steps

Post by Tommy-S » Sun Dec 30, 2012 5:38 pm

Welcome to the site,

Out of curiosity, what does your sponsor think of this, and doesn't your home group have someone available who's anxious to join the experiment?

Thanks.... Tommy
Together, we don't have to cave in or wimp out to that Fatal First One, no matter what today!

Lali
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Re: Seeking Female Sponsor to help work the steps

Post by Lali » Sun Dec 30, 2012 5:49 pm

IMO it is a really bad idea. You may trust yourself to act like a gentleman but you cannot control the emotions of another person. It's not worth the trouble it could cause just because you want to "experience" something. My advice is leave the women alone and get yourself a male sponsor. When I was in active alcoholism, I used to seek out situations that would cause chaos. I didn't know any other way to live my life so I was constantly stirring things up. What is your motive in this situation? Do you see the potential for chaos?
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

JeffD
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Re: Seeking Female Sponsor to help work the steps

Post by JeffD » Sun Dec 30, 2012 6:01 pm

I appreciate your feedback. However, I am interested in feedback that is supportive. I understand all of the reasons people will disagree and have heard them and even have voiced them myself.

becksdad
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Re: Seeking Female Sponsor to help work the steps

Post by becksdad » Sun Dec 30, 2012 6:14 pm

:lol: :lol: I am laughing at myself here!!! Because I am aware of some of my character defects that I am obviously not completely ready to let go of yet!!! And I gaurantee that were I to embark on an escapade like that..... well...... somebody gonna get hurt!!!

And quite possibly drunk.

I'm not being supportive or non-supportive here, Jeff. Hope you do what is right.

For me.... a female sponsor.... I can envision her now.....nope, gotta go!!!!

I'm still laughing at myself, though!

Thanks, Ed

JeffD
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Re: Seeking Female Sponsor to help work the steps

Post by JeffD » Sun Dec 30, 2012 6:17 pm

I suppose I ought to be more precise. I really do not need a sponsor as much as I am interested in a female guidance through another round of the 12 steps. Hope that helps. It will be a long distance thing.

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Blue Moon
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Re: Seeking guidance to work the steps via mail / phone / em

Post by Blue Moon » Sun Dec 30, 2012 6:23 pm

Do you have a question, or are you simply looking for attention?
Ian S
AKA Blue Moon

JeffD
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Re: Seeking guidance to work the steps via mail / phone / em

Post by JeffD » Sun Dec 30, 2012 6:28 pm

I do not have a question. I am hoping that my post does catch the attention of what I have carefully outlined in the post. Hope this answers your question.

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johnd
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Re: Seeking guidance to work the steps via mail / phone / em

Post by johnd » Sun Dec 30, 2012 6:31 pm

Jeff,
To be honest.why don't you just ask a female member with 15-20 years at one of your meetings and see what she says about it.
You realize this is a program of Honesty Openmindedness and Willingness, and as Lali asked Really what is your motive here?
John D.
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans- Anonymous

JeffD
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Re: Seeking guidance to work the steps via mail / phone / em

Post by JeffD » Sun Dec 30, 2012 6:36 pm

My motive is to find a female (quite possibly a lesbian) to guide me through the steps the way that she has been taught. The goal is to acquire this knowledge and experience to enrich my sobriety. I appreciate that you question my motives. I understand why this takes place. Take care all!

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johnd
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Re: Seeking guidance to work the steps via mail / phone / em

Post by johnd » Sun Dec 30, 2012 6:40 pm

Good Luck Jeff
John D.
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans- Anonymous

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Tommy-S
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Re: Seeking guidance to work the steps via mail / phone / em

Post by Tommy-S » Sun Dec 30, 2012 7:13 pm

OK, so now I want to know what the Females do with the Steps that we guys don't???

Ladies?
Together, we don't have to cave in or wimp out to that Fatal First One, no matter what today!

Lali
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Re: Seeking guidance to work the steps via mail / phone / em

Post by Lali » Sun Dec 30, 2012 7:23 pm

We do them in our underwear.
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

Lali
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Re: Seeking guidance to work the steps via mail / phone / em

Post by Lali » Sun Dec 30, 2012 7:25 pm

Jeff, it is interesting that after I submitted my post, not only did you change the text of your post, but the subject line was changed as well.
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

JeffD
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Re: Seeking guidance to work the steps via mail / phone / em

Post by JeffD » Sun Dec 30, 2012 7:42 pm

I really feel like some of these replies are mistrustful and rude. Love and tolerance is our code. Live and let live.

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