12 Qualities of Sponsorship

Most of us who recovered with AA's program did so with the help of a "sponsor". But what is sponsorship? How do I get one? Who can be a sponsor? What makes a good sponsor?
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12 Qualities of Sponsorship

Post by Whadahay » Fri Dec 07, 2012 7:26 pm

I cannot remember where I got this from, but it has come in handy for those new sponcees that mistake me for someone that they can whine to about anything and everything. I tell them that if they want emotional sobriety, to work the Steps and I will be happy to work along with them, but I cannot DO them for them.

Twelve Qualities of Sponsorship

1. I will not help you to stay and wallow in limbo.

2. I will help you to grow, to become more productive, by your definition.

3. I will help you become more autonomous, more loving of yourself, more excited, less sensitive, more free to become the authority for your own living.

4. I cannot give you dreams or "fix you up" simply because I cannot.

5. I cannot give you growth, or grow for you. You must grow for yourself by facing reality, grim as it may be at times.

6. I cannot take away your loneliness or your pain.

7. I cannot sense your world for you, evaluate your goals for you, tell you what is best for your world; because you have your own world in which you must live.

8. I cannot convince you of the necessity to make the vital decision of choosing the frightening uncertainty of growing over the safe misery of remaining static.

9. I want to be with you and know you as a rich and growing friend; yet I cannot get close to you when you choose not to grow.

10. When I begin to care for you out of pity or when I begin to lose faith in you, then I am inhibiting both for you and for me.

11. You must know and understand my help is conditional. I will be with you and "hang in there" with you so long as I continue to get even the slightest hint that you are still trying to grow.

12. If you can accept this, then perhaps we can help each other to become what God meant us to be, mature adults, leaving childishness forever to the little children of the world.

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Re: 12 Qualities of Sponsorship

Post by clduffy » Mon Dec 17, 2012 4:50 pm

This is lovely! I will be looking for a sponsor this week!

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Re: 12 Qualities of Sponsorship

Post by Tommy-S » Mon Dec 17, 2012 6:10 pm

Just keep it simple, Christy

Figure out the 3 ladies who have showed an interest in how you are doing, learn with ones have gone through the Steps, and ask... ask all three if you have to , then consider the next three until you find the one you're supposed to have (Gals with Gals :)

The AA site (http://www.aa.org) has a pamphlet you can read and download for FREE, "Questions and Answers on Sponsorship" which this link may get you to:
http://www.aa.org/lang/en/catalog.cfm?c ... product=17

(Otherwise, go to http://www.aa.org, the Literature tab, then Pamphlets, and scroll until you come to it (all that stuff is FREE to read and download...make yourself a folder :) )

Keep stacking up those days, You're doing good!

Together, we don't have to cave in or wimp out to that Fatal First One, no matter what today!

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