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step 6 and 7

PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 1:35 pm
by CP07
Hi all,

I am 28months sober from an opiod addiction. I feel really good, but I haven't had much luck in the sponsor business. I have completed step 6 with my old sponsor and now I feel lost. I have listed all my character defects and what the opposite of each one is and I've said the 7th step prayer, meditating, praying, going to meetings. any advice on how to proceed? I go to therapy a couple times a month and my therapist always wants to know what my sponsor is having me do...but basically my sponsor kind of scares me and we really just talk about prayer, meditation, and giving it up to god. any advice?

Re: step 6 and 7

PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 3:03 pm
by Brock
In my experience 6 & 7 are steps many don’t take seriously, the AA big book only gives a very short explanation of each one, like this -
If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step
Six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable.
Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the
things which we have admitted are objectionable? Can He
now take them all—every one? If we still cling to something
we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing.

When ready, we say something like this: “My Creator,
I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and
bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single
defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness
to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go
out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.” We have then
completed Step Seven.

To me that just gives the impression that we read this and move on to 8 & 9, the idea being that as we progress in the program, especially spiritual progress, we will then revisit any of these defects we are still struggling with, some of them will just correct themselves due to our new spiritual outlook.

Some say we should pay much more attention to these steps, and books have been written just for them. The best known is probably ‘Drop the Rock,’ it’s available from Amazon, and if you Google you might even find a free pdf copy, I paid for mine and quite honestly didn’t find it that great.

It sounds like your sponsor is unsure of the next move, 8 & 9 should be done, and as suggested 6 & 7 will fall into place later. He seems to be talking mainly about #11, and at 10 & 11 we continue to take inventory each day, we see where the bad habits identified in 6 & 7 are holding us back, and ask God to assist.

Keep in mind that changing sponsors is fairly common, you can sincerely thank him and move on, if he gets upset at all then he wasn't the right choice to start with. Or move on with 8 & 9 by yourself, or just asking older heads at meetings for tips, or of course asking here. Thanks for the question and best of luck.

Re: step 6 and 7

PostPosted: Sun Dec 10, 2017 2:45 pm
by Tosh
CP07 wrote:Hi all,

I am 28months sober from an opiod addiction. I feel really good, but I haven't had much luck in the sponsor business. I have completed step 6 with my old sponsor and now I feel lost. I have listed all my character defects and what the opposite of each one is and I've said the 7th step prayer, meditating, praying, going to meetings. any advice on how to proceed? I go to therapy a couple times a month and my therapist always wants to know what my sponsor is having me do...but basically my sponsor kind of scares me and we really just talk about prayer, meditation, and giving it up to god. any advice?


Steps 6 and 7 have very little to do with us. Our part is to 'be entirely ready to have God remove our defects of character' and to 'humbly ask that God remove them'.

Whatever then happens to our defects is nothing to do with us, it's up to God, whether He removes 'em or not.

Do the 7th Step, say the prayer and get on with making your list of people you've harmed. Keep moving and keep it simple.

Good luck.

Tosh.x

Re: step 6 and 7

PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2017 5:29 am
by jenko
My experience is that becoming "entirely ready" is not merely a game of mental gymnastics. Many times, for me, becoming "entirely ready" takes a whole lot of action.

Re: step 6 and 7

PostPosted: Fri Dec 15, 2017 7:21 am
by Tosh
jenko wrote:My experience is that becoming "entirely ready" is not merely a game of mental gymnastics. Many times, for me, becoming "entirely ready" takes a whole lot of action.


Steps 3, 4 and 5 were enough for me.

But remember, we're not Saints and we strive for progress, not perfection.

I'm not entirely ready to give up sugar, because I've got a sugar addiction thing going on. :lol:

Re: step 6 and 7

PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2017 8:49 pm
by samjake1990
Read the 12 and 12 it has a whole chapter of the sixth step. My sponsor says the sixth step separates the men from the boys. If you have done a through 5th step then the 6th should come naturally.

Re: step 6 and 7

PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 6:34 am
by Brock
Very good advise, welcome here samjake, my apologies that your post took so long to appear, there was a glitch in the system.

I enjoy AA history, and the words of your sponsor about #6 separating the men from the boys, were also spoken by Fr. Ed Dowling, good friend of Bill and a big influence on the early formation of AA, those words actually start the 6th step in the 12 & 12.

Re: step 6 and 7

PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 10:24 am
by D'oh
Step 6 and 7 are in fact Steps. It took me awhile to realize that it wasn't just wanting to be rid of my Defects of Character.

It was about becoming willing to step into the unknown. Who am I going to be without Arrogance, False Pride, Selfishness, and others.

Then Humbly asking my Higher Power, to take me where He wants me to be.

Re: step 6 and 7

PostPosted: Fri Dec 29, 2017 11:37 am
by anand
The next step would be to move on to the next steps. In my experience, having a sponsor for steps 8 and 9 is extremely valuable. There are some names on step 8 and you might need to worry about and think you do OR there are some names you might want to add to steps 8 and 9 that you might have missed.

Honestly, it doesn't have to be anything formal. If you like I can "temp sponsor" walk you through the rest of the steps. And if there is someone you meet in person that you resonate with as sponsor-material Go For it! In my experience though, if you've gotten this far you absolutely want to push through the remaining steps ASAP. It is so worth it.

Re: step 6 and 7

PostPosted: Wed Jan 24, 2018 10:23 am
by CP07
HI Anand, I would be so grateful for any help you could give me. I have read the 12 and 12 book and aa big book.