Time Frame for Completion of the 12 Steps

The 12 Steps are the AA program of recovery from alcoholism.

Re: Time Frame for Completion

Postby tyg » Mon Aug 22, 2016 1:50 am

Don't take it personally when getting those types of reactions from people and just keep moving forward and do what is needed for your own recovery. No where in the pages of Alcoholics Anonymous does it suggest to take our time getting through the Steps. In fact, it is just the opposite because, without a complete psychic change, which only happens as a result of doing all the 12 steps, there is little hope of recovery for the alcoholic.
~The secret to the AA program is the first three words on page 112~
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Re: Time Frame for Completion

Postby Brock » Mon Aug 22, 2016 6:28 am

What's also frightening is that this gal that's been on step 4 for over a year will do the same with all her sponsees who in turn will do the same with their sponsees.....and on and on... That's an awful lot of unnecessary suffering to go through and chances are high that they will drink before getting through all the steps.

Lali said this on the previous page, and I just wanted to highlight it again, it is I believe a major problem within the fellowship, because too many sponsors stick with “this is how my sponsor showed me, this is how I show you.” Probably the only way to reduce this nonsense is to speak about it on sites like this, and when we contribute in meetings, perhaps mention that any delay in getting to at least step five, is just more time being allowed for the mental break which causes us to have the first drink. In that way a new person might be forewarned that to delay is extremely dangerous, so if one of these “sponsors” comes along they know to look elsewhere.
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Re: Time Frame for Completion

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Aug 22, 2016 6:56 am

I try to show the new-comer they are facing a up-hill task and use the stories to illustrate the "queer mental twists" that leads the alcoholic to that blind spot. And the guys may or may not identify with it. One guy from the 1/2 way house walks into the gas station to pick a 6 pack. What saved him was the expired license. It was a God shot for him. When we share the stories like the car salesman and the accountant, he could see the "blind spots" we real ones encounter. The hard drinkers can sit in the fellowship and slowly work the 12 steps over several years. Not so with the alcoholics/addicts. They need to clean up the channel. The clogged one. By dropping the resentments, fear and other garbage so they can quickly clear up the channel. Otherwise people are going to go out. Exactly like the book says: For permanent solution, we have to look at the causes and conditions. It doesn't say go to 90 in 90 and whine about your problems.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Time Frame for Completion

Postby PuppyEars » Mon Aug 22, 2016 9:11 am

It doesn't say go to 90 in 90 and whine about your problems.

Gonna share a very fresh realization with you ave. I joined this site well after I recovered and have a few years to stand on. But I am getting the impression I was Directed here to teach me tolerance. I can get so caught up on what the book doesn't say that I sometimes lose sight of what it does. Patience, tolerance, kindliness and love are the attributes I ask to have each day in prayer and I'm the dumbass that kicks & screams the entire way while being led to it.

I'm sorry if I lost ya.
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Re: Time Frame for Completion

Postby Reborn » Mon Aug 22, 2016 10:07 am

When I was new I would often overthink this simple process...my sponsor never put time frames on the steps...he would simply say "thinking ain't doing...take the action or find another sponsor." There is absolutely no reason to postpone or evade the action required to produce the spiritual awakening. As has been mentioned...perhaps these folks taking a long time working the steps are hard drinkers...they have the ability to take their time and over think this simple process. I am one who could not afford this...I had to work these steps or die...that simple.
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132
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Re: Time Frame for Completion

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Aug 22, 2016 10:20 am

I'm sorry if I lost ya.

For people who drank and drank and drank and then eventually were done. Then come to AA maybe thru institution or other means may not understand the dire need of quickly working the 12 steps and tapping into the power the book talks about. Like you said, you can't understand/relate to the "queer mental twist", you can't relate to what I am saying. Lets leave it there.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Time Frame for Completion

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Aug 22, 2016 10:55 am

I had to work these steps or die...that simple.


Yes, there are people who believe in 2 paragraphs:

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.

Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Time Frame for Completion

Postby Mike O » Mon Aug 22, 2016 11:07 am

My own experience is that there's no reason at all to drag things out. Get the steps done. It really is not that difficult to work the steps in a short time period.
Steps 1-9 can be done quickly (but, thoroughly). Steps 10, 11 and 12 are a lifetime deal. For me, it was vital that I did the work in steps 1-9 quickly in order to bring about the change in attitude to living which I needed to remain sober.
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Re: Time Frame for Completion

Postby Brock » Mon Aug 22, 2016 11:18 am

I can get so caught up on what the book doesn't say that I sometimes lose sight of what it does. Patience, tolerance, kindliness and love are the attributes I ask to have each day in prayer...

Yes that's fine, patience in the grocery line and in traffic etc, kindness and love to all who we would normally cuss. But when it comes to someone telling newcomers it's OK to take your time, one year on step four no problem, then those things rightfully go out the window, they do not apply when lives are at stake.
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Re: Time Frame for Completion

Postby PuppyEars » Mon Aug 22, 2016 11:34 am

What in the world? I never said it was cool to drag your feet. I quoted 90 in 90. :shock:
I know real alcoholics that 90 in 90 helped save their lives. Did they do aa wrong?
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Re: Time Frame for Completion

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Aug 22, 2016 12:16 pm

there are people who believe in 2 paragraphs:

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.

Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Time Frame for Completion

Postby Reborn » Mon Aug 22, 2016 12:17 pm

PuppyEars wrote:What in the world? I never said it was cool to drag your feet. I quoted 90 in 90. :shock:
I know real alcoholics that 90 in 90 helped save their lives. Did they do aa wrong?


90 meetings in 90 days is great...but its not about how many meetings you attend...its about what you actually do in that time frame. You can go to 90 in 90 and be just as sick as the day you walked in.
Last edited by Reborn on Mon Aug 22, 2016 1:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Time Frame for Completion

Postby PuppyEars » Mon Aug 22, 2016 1:00 pm

Reborn wrote:90 meetings in 90 days is great...but its not about how many meetings you attend...its about what you actually do it that time frame. You can go to 90 in 90 and be just as sick as the day you walked in.

OR on the way out of your 90th meeting as you are swearing yer never trying aa again, you could get a phone number that changes your life and turns you into an outstanding member of society and aa. How about a little hope and faith bub. Once me and you click that x on the screen that's it. But let us say your own child is on the verge of destroying their life, is our message "dont go to meetings you might get sicker" or hope to God something sticks and saves your child's life like it saved ours.
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Re: Time Frame for Completion

Postby Reborn » Mon Aug 22, 2016 1:23 pm

OR on the way out of your 90th meeting as you are swearing yer never trying aa again, you could get a phone number that changes your life and turns you into an outstanding member of society and aa. How about a little hope and faith bub. Once me and you click that x on the screen that's it. But let us say your own child is on the verge of destroying their life, is our message "dont go to meetings you might get sicker" or hope to God something sticks and saves your child's life like it saved ours.


Hey bub you might want to re-read my post. I didn't say "don't go to meetings you might get sicker"...what I did say is you can go to 90 in 90 and still be just as sick as the day you walked in. I also said 90 in 90 is GREAT...may give some hope...give you a good idea of what AA is all about...but that isn't the solution. I can have all the hope and all faith in the world...but until I take action nothing changes. I have respect for you Puppy...I've read you posts and I agree with you on almost all of your posts. I think we are on common ground here...but I've been wrong before.
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Re: Time Frame for Completion

Postby PuppyEars » Mon Aug 22, 2016 1:35 pm

Great point about action. Perhaps I meant providing hope and faith for the newbie that might be reading our posts.
I'm trying this new approach to react as if my daughter, mother, and grandmother are by my side. As you can tell it's a work in progress. Btw, to newcomers, that has nothing to do with aa. Sorry Reborn.
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