Resilience

The 12 Steps are the AA program of recovery from alcoholism.

Resilience

Postby Sleddog75 » Sun Jul 31, 2016 6:37 am

Not something that is out of the big book but I have to tell you that it's very important to me. I believe we use the word perseverance in relation to step 10. However, sometimes what we see and hear takes its toll. The struggling alcoholic, pain and suffering, suicide, death, resentment towards others including other members...I'm like a collector of sorts. I run around and say "you gonna use that resentment? no? can I have it?" and then i pick it up. I usually spend a great deal of my step 11 letting things go, which i learned how and had the most amazing experience from doing step 7. I can feel when I've picked up to many fears, resentments, etc because I feel like I'm spiritually lagging. But today I know when and how I have to get rid of them through my own little humbling process. I also work as a social worker so when I'm not spending time in my aa advocation- I'm working in it. My sponsor has a gagillion years of sobriety, and while he pushes me deep into the big book and 12th step, he does have an uncanny way of summing things up. He said if you really want long time contented happy joyous and free sobriety then you need to learn how to become resilient. Some of the things he taught me was discipline, resiliency, empathy and hard work. extreme emphasis on discipline.

Anyone else have any thoughts about all that? I'm just more or less musing while sipping morning coffee. Be well

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Re: Resilience

Postby avaneesh912 » Sun Jul 31, 2016 7:07 am

Thats were some of outside ideas helped for me. For example Eckhart Tolle tells us to nip the resentment, fear or other emotions in the bud. Not allow it to simmer and then work on eradicating it. He states accept then act. Accept as thought we chose that for us. We shut the mind. Ego arises due to resistance.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Resilience

Postby D'oh » Sun Jul 31, 2016 9:03 am

But for the Grace of God, there go I.

I am not sure that this is what you are after, but a warning none the same.

You speak of Empathy, which I believe we all can feel for we have all been through so much to get here. But through the program and the Grace of a Higher Power of our Understanding, we have been Granted a reprieve from the pain and suffering.

With this new way of life, thins are good. Sometimes so good we tend to forget where we have come from. We begin to try to find reasons to say "Screw It" and head back to our old ways. When we don't find things strong enough to justify this, we begin to look at others problems to take on and build on. We build on these and our little problems until We can justify saying Screw It.

So first off, we don't have to Own others problems, we do have to let them know that/if we have been there our self's once. Then if asked, further explain our own ESH and how we over came the problem.

I was taught this lesson by a Very Well Respected, Successful, Humble Old Timer. I walked in on him one day, he had tears in his eyes. On the Tele, was a commercial about Homeless. Drunks, Addicts, and the likes. He just looked at me and said "But for the Grace of God, there go I."
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Re: Resilience

Postby Karl R » Sun Jul 31, 2016 9:04 am

Thanks for the topic Sled. I also work part time in the social services. For me resilience equals gratitude for the challenges. Gratitude for the challenges equals action toward being helpful somehow. In both of my careers, the full and the part time, gratitude turned toward the action of service and helpfulness leads to resilience in my spiritual condition. It works in reverse also. When I stop being helpful I stop being grateful. Then my spiritual resilience (and the physical and mental) suffer.

regards,
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Re: Resilience

Postby PuppyEars » Sun Jul 31, 2016 9:57 am

Sleddog75 wrote:he does have an uncanny way of summing things up.

Hi Sleddog75, thanks for the thought provoking subject.
This is why I think it's important to have older members to bounce things off of. I can act like I keep things simple all I want, but your post reminds me that I don't. In my head, I twist, turn, wiggle out of, make up stuff that isn't even there, assume...you name it. Heck I even make up excuses why I don't need to call that old timer. Then when I do finally make that call, I'm usually left with "oh". When I get tangled up with something and the answers are not coming, I am guilty of staying stuck on myself instead of taking it to God or fellow members first. My ego likes to butt in and say Yo, you have a few years and have had some major successes - you got this.

Great topic that caused me to look at myself under a microscope.
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Re: Resilience

Postby ezdzit247 » Sun Jul 31, 2016 11:23 am

Good topic, Sleddog75

Looking back down the road, it seems I had a lot of resilience when I was much younger. I was able to bounce back, regroup, overcome many problems, and keep moving forward. As I grew older, and life's challenges seemed to become more complex, more difficult for me to overcome, I seemed to start getting stuck--a lot--and lost more and more resilience along with hope. By the time I finally got sober, I was running on empty. Again, looking back, it was the people I met in the AA fellowship who gave me back my hope by giving me unconditional love, patience and tolerance. What I found in the rooms restored my faith in humanity too. It was the Steps that gave me back my resilience by giving me a set of principles designed for living life on life's terms. If I stick to those principles, I don't get stuck much anymore..... :D Works for me!
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: Resilience

Postby avaneesh912 » Wed Aug 24, 2016 5:22 am

Some of the things he taught me was discipline, resiliency, empathy and hard work. extreme emphasis on discipline.


I just watched a 6 minute clip by Eckhart on awakening where he talks about people falling from their path and resurrecting themselves. And thats exactly what we do in recovery. I am talk about about after spritual awakening. Especially when your living around people, it could bring un-conscious in you. You get caught in their drama. You realize and walk away.

In the book A new earth, he talks about an incident where after working with a women who was able to let go of her pain body, he goes into a restaurant in London. Where a man on wheels suddenly gets squirrely after just glancing at Eckhart. He then starts accusing the waitress of bringing him stale soup and he starts screaming and shouting foul words at the waitress. Police had to come and take him away. The restaurant owner jokingly asks Eckhart did you cause all this? Eckhart talks about how you could subliminally pick somebodies negative vibe if you are not alert. Really cool stuff.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Resilience

Postby positrac » Wed Aug 24, 2016 6:53 am

PuppyEars wrote:
Sleddog75 wrote:he does have an uncanny way of summing things up.

Hi Sleddog75, thanks for the thought provoking subject.
This is why I think it's important to have older members to bounce things off of. I can act like I keep things simple all I want, but your post reminds me that I don't. In my head, I twist, turn, wiggle out of, make up stuff that isn't even there, assume...you name it. Heck I even make up excuses why I don't need to call that old timer. Then when I do finally make that call, I'm usually left with "oh". When I get tangled up with something and the answers are not coming, I am guilty of staying stuck on myself instead of taking it to God or fellow members first. My ego likes to butt in and say Yo, you have a few years and have had some major successes - you got this.

Great topic that caused me to look at myself under a microscope.

Good point you both have made and one thing is that none of us have this all in one clean sock as we all have to work toward some inner clarity on this journey. I believe first instinct is to grab and hold and not let go because of ego and survival we've learned in life. If I keep my mind in open mode and not just auto pilot then I can catch my issues before they can set up camp at the ole resentment palace in my head.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
Hopi Proverb
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Re: Resilience

Postby Stepchild » Wed Aug 24, 2016 7:31 am

Not something that is out of the big book but I have to tell you that it's very important to me. I believe we use the word perseverance in relation to step 10. However, sometimes what we see and hear takes its toll.


My sponsor has a gagillion years of sobriety, and while he pushes me deep into the big book and 12th step, he does have an uncanny way of summing things up. He said if you really want long time contented happy joyous and free sobriety then you need to learn how to become resilient. Some of the things he taught me was discipline, resiliency, empathy and hard work. extreme emphasis on discipline.


I'm curious what your sponsors thoughts are on what is in the book...

As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day "Thy will be done." We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.

It works - it really does.

We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined.

pg 88
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