The 13th step.

The 12 Steps are the AA program of recovery from alcoholism.

Re: The 13th step.

Postby Lali » Mon Jun 20, 2016 9:35 pm

Feeya wrote:
Tosh wrote:
Feeya wrote:Is there actually any talking about that in the BB that one could recommend, regarding these kinds of issues?

We've just got to use some common sense; there aren't any hard fast rules. A.A. ladies generally warn their sponsees to stay away from the men, and I suggest to my sponsees that they stay away from the ladies. We're not a dating agency; we're there to stay sober and help others achieve sobriety.

Thank you!
See, that is what kind of puts me off... because there is something in between 'staying away from somebody' and 'dating them'. There is 'having a normal conversation' too...
And don't get me wrong I am well aware of what happens when two sick people cross paths and how toxic it can become. I just don't see the danger in 'having a conversation'... I mean, aren't we all there for the same reason? Or am I being too naive?

Feeya, I totally get what you are saying. I don't believe its wrong to have a conversation, as you say, HOWEVER, I warn my sponsees not to get into texting with the opposite sex. There's a certain sense of intimacy in texting with someone, perhaps because when you aren't face to face with someone one becomes less inhibited and the texts seem to get increasingly intimate.

Now, you being gay, I would suggest you not get into (with a woman) texting or anything that could be construed as a date if you feel like there is any chance for a romantic relationship. (Until you are on solid ground with your sobriety. One year is a good rule of thumb) Just be careful, my friend, okay?
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Re: The 13th step.

Postby Feeya » Mon Jun 20, 2016 11:31 pm

Well I am going to be more careful in general. And I am going to only text, or have 'outside conversation' with those people who have a little more recovery under their belt.

The women at my meetings are all straight and MUCH older than me, so there is NO WAY, I could ever be tempted (and that is one of the few things I trust myself with).
I just need to be more careful with the people closer to my age I suppose, as I can't control their motives and few of them might not be there for the same reason I am (recovery)...
Thank you all very much!
One day at a time.
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Re: The 13th step.

Postby Noels » Mon Jun 20, 2016 11:56 pm

You go girl :D Trust your gut. Your gut is usally right.
Lovies N


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