Selfish...Selfishness..self-centeredness...self-seeking.

The 12 Steps are the AA program of recovery from alcoholism.

Re: Selfish...Selfishness..self-centeredness...self-seeking.

Postby ezdzit247 » Tue Oct 04, 2016 4:33 pm

leng12 wrote:Hi all!

Revisiting this post after 4 months. Still no change in attitude regarding above. Oh well! Still sober and focus on the parts of meetings/program I identify with. I have a good Step One and pray/meditate every day. That'll have to keep me going.


If what you're doing is working for you, keep going with that. If it stops working for you, that's a red flag that it's time to try something different. Are you able to relate to or identify with Step 2?
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: Selfish...Selfishness..self-centeredness...self-seeking.

Postby Tosh » Wed Oct 05, 2016 1:15 pm

leng12 wrote:Hi all!

Revisiting this post after 4 months. Still no change in attitude regarding above. Oh well! Still sober and focus on the parts of meetings/program I identify with. I have a good Step One and pray/meditate every day. That'll have to keep me going.


For an exercise, if you list some of your problems - any of them - it'll be easy to show where the self-centeredness comes in (selfishness stems from self-centeredness as do all character defects).

Remember, it's perfectly normal to be self-centered; it's a survival mechanism.

Some poor bloke in China has just found out he's got cancer, but I'll sleep well tonight. But if I found I had cancer, it would be a different story.

But taken to the extreme, things like low self-esteem (a self-centred viewpoint), then that's going to cause some problems.

I know when my self-centredness made me make my happiness more important than anyone else's (having affairs, lying, secret drinking, etc) I ended up suicidal and at my first A.A. meeting.

I also know that when I try to help others, I'm thinking less about myself, and I end up feeling lighter.

Self-centredness is kind of an obsession with the self; constantly thinking about what troubles me, what will make me happy, what others think about me, future problems that may affect me - it's not a nice place to be in. I'm not denying that it can also focus our mind on dealing with a very real problem too.

I also think it's not all bad; my self-centeredness makes me look after my body; I lift weights, I run, I'm careful about what I eat; in this way I'm healthy and have more energy (which can be directed towards being 'other centred' (helping others)).

It's about getting the right balance, I think. Something I've never really been good at (balance); I'm usually 'all or nothing', but I'm making progress in this area. Being self-centred enough to care for ourselves in the right way, versus the negative of being self-centred to the point of self-obsession.

BTW, some folk call the opposite of being self-centred 'other centred' and the religious may call it 'God centred'.

Those are just my thoughts, and if you call those thoughts stupid, I may be self-centered enough to think that you're really calling ME stupid, and that may cause me some troubles. :lol:
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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