Step one- never tried this before

The 12 Steps are the AA program of recovery from alcoholism.
Allison
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Step one- never tried this before

Post by Allison »

Hi, I'm Allison- I an alcoholic
Ok I've been in and out off AA but now I am ready to do the work. I never understood what working the steps meant.
Well I'm working step one now. I think! I mean, how do you work these things? I've answered about 10 pages of questions that pertain to ways to work step one. Is that it? Am I done? I have been sober 5 days and just started meetings. I don't have a sponsor yet but I will soon. How do I know if I have worked the first step?

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Brock
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Re: Step one- never tried this before

Post by Brock »

Welcome Allison. My opinion on these things especially step one is that pages of questions and such are really not necessary, it is basically admitting we have a problem, for me you have admitted it in these words – “Ok I've been in and out off AA but now I am ready to do the work.” You wouldn’t be willing to do the work if you didn’t think you had a problem, therefore step one done for now. I say for now because down the road when we start to feel better, our mind will trick us into thinking we weren’t too bad off after all, the fact that we have a problem must remain with us, or else you will be in and out again.

These steps are not nearly as difficult as they appear at first, please keep in mind that when you do them and live the way the program recommends, the desire to drink will disappear, you will not be fighting because they will be nothing to fight, best of luck to you.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

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clouds
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Re: Step one- never tried this before

Post by clouds »

Hi Allison,

What questions were they? From the pamphlet from AA?

I think those are meant to help us to know the difference between alcoholic drinking and normal drinking.

Thats a start.

When I went to my first meeting I already knew I was powerless over alcohol. I had tried my best to stop and I couldnt. Even before I tried to stop completely I knew I couldnt drink normally. Years beforI thought I still had the capacity to just limit the amount I drank and still drink. That didnt work either. By the time I was desperate to stop, my health was ruined, my kids werent looked after, and I was dependent on the booz to get through every day. I was scared I couldnt stop because no matter how hard I had tried I always got drunk again and wrecked something or hurt someone in some way. I was one of those people that could never drink safely, it always ended badly in one way or another. I got sick. I said bad things to people. I stumbled into things and knocked them over etc.

If you still arent sure you are powerless over alcohol, like you think you can still drink and handle it, or you think you can stop on your own, you havent got step one yet.

If you know you are unable to handle booz ( as in you try to limit amounts or stop and cant) and you are feeling you can't stop on your own, you have got step one done.

Some people are able to get sober through AA before they get as bad as I was. AA can provide you with the help you need to get and stay sober. Best wishes!
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.

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Duke
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Re: Step one- never tried this before

Post by Duke »

Welcome Allison.

I know for me, I found I had worked the first step before I got to my first meeting or opened the book. I was desperate, felt unique and doomed, and I was ready to try anything to find a solution. Alcohol had defeated my every effort to control it and my life was a mess.

If you know that you’ve lost all control over your drinking and have found that your life has become intolerable, you’re there already. At least in my experience.

Jump in. Embrace it. Work it like your life depends on it. You’ll find what you’re looking for.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa

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tyg
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Re: Step one- never tried this before

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Allison wrote:Hi, I'm Allison- I an alcoholic
Ok I've been in and out off AA but now I am ready to do the work. I never understood what working the steps meant.
Well I'm working step one now. I think! I mean, how do you work these things? I've answered about 10 pages of questions that pertain to ways to work step one. Is that it? Am I done? I have been sober 5 days and just started meetings. I don't have a sponsor yet but I will soon. How do I know if I have worked the first step?
Welcome Allison so glad you are here!

Step 1 is when a person decides to get off the roller coaster and follows this 12 Step program of action Alcoholics Anonymous offers. It is not a requirement to lose everything worthwhile to recover.

I finally figured out that I can NEVER drink alcohol safely again but I am not capable of permanent sobriety on my own willpower and knowledge. When I got that, I became willing to do whatever it takes in Alcoholics Anonymous....

I went to a meeting and immediately asked a recovered alcoholic to take me through the 12 Steps. I just picked one with 43 years sober. I didn't wait to find someone I could relate to, or had things in common with etc. I needed help now! 43 years, WOW, they had what I wanted. In my eyes that was permanent sobriety. By the time I got to the 4th Step with them I had enough trust in this person to continue on.

The 12 Steps look really simple and they are, actually but most alcoholics do not stay sober working them by themselves. That is why it is repeated said in the meetings to get another alcoholic (aka sponsor) to guide us through the process and learn how to apply them 247. Left to our own devices, most alcoholics are incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Without help, it is too much for us.

You too can recover!
Last edited by tyg on Thu May 28, 2015 11:55 am, edited 4 times in total.
~The secret to the AA program is the first three words on page 112~

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ezdzit247
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Re: Step one- never tried this before

Post by ezdzit247 »

Allison wrote:Hi, I'm Allison- I an alcoholic
Ok I've been in and out off AA but now I am ready to do the work. I never understood what working the steps meant.
Well I'm working step one now. I think! I mean, how do you work these things? I've answered about 10 pages of questions that pertain to ways to work step one. Is that it? Am I done? I have been sober 5 days and just started meetings. I don't have a sponsor yet but I will soon. How do I know if I have worked the first step?
Hi Allison and welcome.

Congratulations on 5 days of sobriety!

Your story is similar to mine. I bounced in and out of AA for almost two years before I finally "got it" about the Steps. I guess I thought I was different, that I could beat my drinking problem on my own, turn it around and drink like a normal person, but none of the things I tried worked. My last drunk, a 10 day black out binge, was the best drunk I ever had because it finally did for me what I couldn't do for myself. It "surrendered" me from the battle with my alcoholism. I gave up. The first AA meeting I attended after that epiphany was amazing to me. I'd probably been to over 100 meetings in the previous 2 years and the Steps had been read at every one of those meetings, but at this meeting I finally HEARD the Steps being read from the portion of the Chapter 5 in the BB. And, as I listened, I suddenly realized that I had already worked the first 3 Steps before the meeting had even started. I'd admitted that I was powerless over alcohol and my life was unmanageable, I'd come to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity, and I'd made the decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood Him. That was another epiphany for me. This time, when I went back to attending AA meetings again, I did the 90 meetings in 90 days thing and as each meeting's opening prayer was recited, I added a short special silent prayer that my eyes could see and my ears could hear and my mind could understand what every other sober person in the rooms was seeing, hearing, and understanding to stay sober. That's what worked for me. I went to lots and lots of meetings, listened to other members share how they worked the Steps, prayed and meditated every day for guidance and direction, and completed the 12 Steps for the first time within my first 6 months back in AA. I say the "first time" because I've continued to work the Steps throughout my sobriety, including an annual 4th Step, as a kind of spiritual maintenance program. I need those 50,000 mile check ups to keep me running smoothly!

Keep coming back....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

kenyal
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Re: Step one- never tried this before

Post by kenyal »

Welcome to your recovery, Allison. Doing all the steps in order with guidance from a sober member imo, is the way to go. Doing that provided an end to the drinking life for me, which is among the least of it's many benefits.

The pages of questions you answered may be beneficial, but as I'm unfamiliar with that I've no way to evaluate their effectiveness in resolving the doubts and lingering reservations you may still have regarding what alcoholism is and how it has evidenced itself in your life to this point. Effective understanding directly based on your past personal experiences while still drinking and resolution of all your doubts about being an alcoholic is important. Reservations that linger can create problems later on.

I can say that after I took this step it was far more than assent, or agreement with how someone else saw things. It felt as if I took it in and it settled inside me. I got that I was alcoholic to the similar degree that I understand I'm a male, or that I am a parent. It took the time it took and it took a lot of examination of the facts as they were, apart from how I had always excused my actions and rationalized events. When you hear people talking about getting honest with themselves, I think what you will be doing is a huge part of that, and when the understanding is yours no one can take it away from you.

Allison
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Re: Step one- never tried this before

Post by Allison »

Oh my goodness I am so grateful for all the love and support. I admit I am powerless and know I can't control my drinking. It has helped listening to all your replies because I see myself in so many of them. I want to do it right this time and put in the work. I am going to keep going to meetings and get a sponsor. I did answer a series of questions I printed out about step one that really opened my eyes to how much of an alcoholic I am. I use to think I could be a social drinker and maybe one night I could. But I'm the end I always ended up hurt, in jail, or blacked out. I've been clean 2.5 years in 16 years half of that year I was incarcerated. The outer two I was pregnant and breastfeeding. My son is two now and I thought I could socially drink... Boy was I wrong. I had started drinking during the day- which I had never done. I always said alcoholics drink during the day and I don't so I'm not an alcoholic- I can rationalize a lot but that really opened my eyes.
Thank you all for making me feel so welcome. On to step two :)
Allison

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PaigeB
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Re: Step one- never tried this before

Post by PaigeB »

I found a whole new pair of eyes as I worked the steps with a sponsor! My perception was off on everything, especially when it came to alcohol. Glad you are looking for a sponsor! Here is a pamphlet that might help!
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/aa-liter ... ponsorship

Keep coming back here Allison. We'll be here and we would love to share in your journey!
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

Allison
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Re: Step one- never tried this before

Post by Allison »

Thank you! I definitely will :)

Stepchild
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Re: Step one- never tried this before

Post by Stepchild »

A sponsor is simply someone who has done the steps that is willing to guide you. Find a woman like that....And get busy. Welcome aboard!

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ezdzit247
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Re: Step one- never tried this before

Post by ezdzit247 »

Allison wrote:Oh my goodness I am so grateful for all the love and support. I admit I am powerless and know I can't control my drinking. It has helped listening to all your replies because I see myself in so many of them. I want to do it right this time and put in the work. I am going to keep going to meetings and get a sponsor. I did answer a series of questions I printed out about step one that really opened my eyes to how much of an alcoholic I am. I use to think I could be a social drinker and maybe one night I could. But I'm the end I always ended up hurt, in jail, or blacked out. I've been clean 2.5 years in 16 years half of that year I was incarcerated. The outer two I was pregnant and breastfeeding. My son is two now and I thought I could socially drink... Boy was I wrong. I had started drinking during the day- which I had never done. I always said alcoholics drink during the day and I don't so I'm not an alcoholic- I can rationalize a lot but that really opened my eyes.
Thank you all for making me feel so welcome. On to step two :)
Allison
Congrats on working Step 1!

These are the Promises from the BB on pages 83-84. We read these at the end of every meeting in my local groups.
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
Keep coming back....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Re: Step one- never tried this before

Post by desypete »

step 1 is the key

being convinced i have this problem with the booze is so vital, the idea i can drink safely again has to be smashed.

for me it took me a long road of pain and suffering to get to that point were i knew it was all over, i could not carry on anymore

drink took everything away from me so when i came into aa i was already beaten, i had already done step one, my life was in such a mess i had no way out, so i ended up convinced i really am an alcoholic, i really can not drink safely its poison to me

in fact i had done the first 3 steps just by coming to aa in the condition i was in, but i didn't know it at the time, only when i sat down with my sponsor and had a look at the steps did i come to see how i was beaten how i had accepted i am an alcoholic, how i came to aa believing it to be a power greater then me that can help me, and how ready i was to turn my will and my life over to the care of aa which is what i did, as i kept on coming back and this time was doing things they had suggested to keep that first drink down

but again i couldnt see this at the time and the steps looked like so much gobbledegook to me, all i did was kept on coming back and aa started to get into my life

good luck to you and i was told so long as i an remember in my heart my last drink i will be ok and for me its worked as i will never forget 10 years on and its as fresh today as its always been. and when i look back at how i was to how i am today well i really do have to much to lose so i am grateful for just being sober today, nothing else i am happy to be free of the drinking and thats all aa ever promised me is that if i do certain things then there is a way out from drinking

it doesnt mean i will find a partners and life will be wonderful, it means that whatever happens in life i will not longer need a drink on it and so far its all worked out that way

chrischip81
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Re: Step one- never tried this before

Post by chrischip81 »

Hi after 5 years off the cocaine i continued to convince myself i could drink alcohol . I realise now ( have for a while ) that my addictive nature would take hold . I get myself into right states and dangerous ones and have been off the rails the past 5 weekends to the horror of my wife and kid . I nearly got ran over with a car this sunday . Spent so much £ and got a punch in the face also . In reality when im sober i work realy!!!!! Hard and could not be a more nicer person . I feel like im starting all over again from my addictions but i know they were always gona bite me

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PaigeB
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Re: Step one- never tried this before

Post by PaigeB »

Glad you are here chrischip! We have all done that - God I came home from the bar unrecognizable once - someone put me in a cab home when they should have called the ambulance. My husband took me and they thought he did it to me! Sad days.

Did I stop drinking then? NOPE. It mattered little to me what I did to others... I had to feel it personally, in the form of "Pitiful And Incomprehensible Demoralization" like it says on page 30 of the BB.

Ironically that spells PAID.... I paid my dues to sit at these tables. Now I gotta do the work.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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