30 yrs. sober.left AA

The 12 Steps are the AA program of recovery from alcoholism.

30 yrs. sober.left AA

Postby owell » Mon Mar 19, 2018 8:27 am

I have not drank in over 30 yrs.This last year there has been extreme emotional trauma and found my only safe place was a AA meeting which I had not attended in 25 yrs.I am almost 65 and not sure about getting a sponsor? I did the 12 steps along time ago and in the mean time while going thru Step 4 found most all my resentments have been forgiven and let go of there is only a short list that bother me at all.I guess the ? is do I have to dredge up stuff that happened yrs. ago,that has no relevance now.
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Re: 30 yrs. sober.left AA

Postby Blue Moon » Mon Mar 19, 2018 9:11 am

Not if your HP is guiding the pen.

It sometimes still surprises me how things today can be shaped by automatic reactions I learned before I ever drank. So I wouldn't relive the past if it no longer bothers me, except where I need to draw upon it to help with the present and what to try differently.
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Re: 30 yrs. sober.left AA

Postby Brock » Mon Mar 19, 2018 11:58 am

Welcome here owell.

My thinking is if you feel the need for one on one sharing, then yes get a sponsor. However many sponsors seem to think they have to take a person through the steps again, but once you say to them what you have said here, they should be no need for much step work. A mini 4 & 5 perhaps to help rid you of what you describe as “only a short list that bother me at all.” Some have found value in going through the steps again, but for my money since you have lost the troubling resentments, the accent should be on the spiritual side of the program, where the serenity comes from.

Well done on returning to the safe harbor of AA, when that extreme emotional drama hit, others who may be in rough water might be helped when they read your post.
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Re: 30 yrs. sober.left AA

Postby Spirit Flower » Mon Mar 19, 2018 6:30 pm

I have 32 years of sobriety. My 30th year was a Expletive! I had so many emotional issues. I realized I was living under a resentment mountain of the recently past 10 years. I made a resentment list of the current resentments. I then talked to someone about it. I don't have a sponsor. I just said, I'm going down to the AA meeting right now and the first woman I see is "it." I ran into someone I knew who had 3 years. She got to hear my resentments. This loosened up my issues so my higher power could send other people who weren't alcoholics to help me.
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Re: 30 yrs. sober.left AA

Postby Roberth » Tue Mar 20, 2018 11:49 am

Hello owell and welcome to e-aa. My name is Robert and I am Los Angeles area alcoholic. There are some senior groups popping up. seniors in sobriety is the quickest growing group in AA. I just attended I conference for Senior in Sobriety. Check with your Central office or GSR for more information.

P.S. I am 66 with 26 years
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Re: 30 yrs. sober.left AA

Postby positrac » Thu Mar 22, 2018 6:56 am

I've been on this journey over 28 years and I have the issue in my character defect side is rigid compliance "when I feel it is necessary" Spirit made a point of just finding a person in the rooms that could listen and absorb her resentments. I also have done this over the years and it has helped me to remain sober. If you have been drinking then maybe you need to go through those steps and keep it semi current on the facts that recent events led you astray and many not early sobriety. I am younger than you by some years and so I never wish upon this horrific thing and I hope you'll find some sanity with what you need to do vise what you should do.
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Re: 30 yrs. sober.left AA

Postby Mike O » Thu Mar 22, 2018 10:36 am

Hi Owell,

As Brock mentioned, it sounds like there's a need for a Step 4 followed by a Step 5 here.
I have done this several times in my 10 years sobriety and it has helped me remain sober.
The steps are amazing. Use 'em.
:D
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Re: 30 yrs. sober.left AA

Postby Greywolf » Mon May 21, 2018 1:30 pm

owell wrote:I have not drank in over 30 yrs.This last year there has been extreme emotional trauma and found my only safe place was a AA meeting which I had not attended in 25 yrs.I am almost 65 and not sure about getting a sponsor? I did the 12 steps along time ago and in the mean time while going thru Step 4 found most all my resentments have been forgiven and let go of there is only a short list that bother me at all.I guess the ? is do I have to dredge up stuff that happened yrs. ago,that has no relevance now.


So you say you did the steps a long time ago. Somehow I get you missed something. In Step 10 (We) Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

So now you butt is in a sling and you are going back to do another 4th step? Why not follow in the footsteps of those who came before you and maintain your sobriety with the Maintenance steps , 10,11, & 12.

Step 11 is "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God AS WE UNDERSTOOD HIM, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."

And Step 12 is "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."

You didn't say why you stopped attending meetings. I suggest you go back and confront whatever BS had you leave in the first place. I would suggest you find someone who took the steps the old fashion way -- like they are written -- but I doubt you can find anybody still alive who did it that way. These days it's all about Big Book study, deep understanding, cognition, spiritual growth, etc. People seem to be more interested in being in recovery than being recovered.

The 12 Steps as you see them in Chapter 5 are the the first 42 recovered alcoholics (including Bill W. and Dr Bob)took. Or you can get bogged down in all that explanation of how to work the steps Bill wrote when the first 42 gave him the go ahead to finish the BB after they all aligned on How it works. Bill wandered off the path on his own. An alcoholic on his own is a bad idea.

Good luck. I think you are going to need it.
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Re: 30 yrs. sober.left AA

Postby Tosh » Tue May 22, 2018 12:27 am

owell wrote:I have not drank in over 30 yrs.This last year there has been extreme emotional trauma and found my only safe place was a AA meeting which I had not attended in 25 yrs.I am almost 65 and not sure about getting a sponsor? I did the 12 steps along time ago and in the mean time while going thru Step 4 found most all my resentments have been forgiven and let go of there is only a short list that bother me at all.I guess the ? is do I have to dredge up stuff that happened yrs. ago,that has no relevance now.


If historic resentments have been dealt with and let go, why is there resistance about putting them down on paper? My suggestion would be that if there's any doubt, just stick them down anyway. The only cost to yourself would be a bit of ink.

I must admit that I wrote down a fair bit of stuff, but there were only a few issues that really troubled me. And maybe one of these still does? But I also think that living spiritually means being able to live comfortably with unresolved issues also. In real world situations, not everything can be squared away in a neat and orderly fashion.

Anyway, good luck.
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Re: 30 yrs. sober.left AA

Postby tomsteve » Tue May 22, 2018 7:13 am

Greywolf wrote:
owell wrote:You didn't say why you stopped attending meetings. I suggest you go back and confront whatever BS had you leave in the first place.
Good luck. I think you are going to need it.


There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation.

there are many people that stopped going to meetings and are still recovered. many,many being of service to God and the people around them outside of the rooms.

owell, having a sponsor doesnt mean going through the steps again. although getting rid of whats bothering you at this time isnt a bad thing and good to have an understanding person to discuss it with. dont have to call them a sponsor either.
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Re: 30 yrs. sober.left AA

Postby Greywolf » Tue May 22, 2018 1:49 pm

tomsteve wrote:There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation.

thanks for sharing your experience. :wink:

tomsteve wrote:there are many people that stopped going to meetings and are still recovered. many,many being of service to God and the people around them outside of the rooms.


Quite true. Probably not as many as you know but still a few. Then you know also that there are at least a few who left because they had issues. Issues in one phase of life usually spread over into other areas. On the outside chance that he (owell) had an issue, that might be a great place to start. I made the comment because I care.

If on the other hand he (owell) was one of those who had recovered, was of service to God and the people around him, he would see my comment for what it was intended -- a nudge in the right direction -- and move on.

Did you find any problem with my suggestion he use steps 10, 11 and 12 to maintain his sobriety? That's my experience for a little over 50 years and it has worked for me.

I like your mentioning being of service to people outside the rooms. I weatherized homes for the low-income and elderly for the last 30 years of my work life, making from a third to a 5th of what I could have made as a construction superintendent. I was also able to be be a source of income for some men and women who needed a hand up.

The best part to me? Every day we worked we made a difference in the quality of somebody's life.
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Re: 30 yrs. sober.left AA

Postby owell » Sun May 27, 2018 7:51 pm

Thanks Everyone
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