AA online?

New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.
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kstars
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AA online?

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Postby kstars » Thu Jan 26, 2012 9:33 am
Hello out there. I have been sober since '94, but have had no program since the first time on AA in the 80's. I am just starting the steps for the first time. I am also getting off prescription meds for a mental disorder. It isn't possible for me to be happy at meetings right now. People know something is up with me. People have gone out of their way at Women's meetings to not include me. Is it possible to just do AA online? Until I am clean?

About your friend, I say that if he wants the steps, he should be able to work the steps. I am on step 3 with a sponsor. I know I need the steps, though I do not have the urge to drink. (Well maybe fleeting). I am withdrawing from chemicals now so I am very sensitive, and would like to continue AA without all the rejection.

Thanks for any advice,
kstars

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PaigeB
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Re: AA online?

Post by PaigeB »

There are so many AA meetings on line - some right here at e-aa!
ww.e-aa.org/chat/eaa_chat_schedule.php

You can also Google aa- Intergroup, which is an org (loosely) like a Central Office for online AA. There is an email meeting called GROW for women, but there are so many out there.

That being said, I wouldn't give my feelings too much power when it come to what I think other people think of me. I was - and remain - WRONG about what other people think. I cannot compare my insides to other people's outsides. Truth and reality is: I have NO idea what others think of me.

Keep in mind our Traditions... You are a member of Alcoholics Anonymous when YOU say you are, not when other people accept you into some inner circle. Keep coming back - offer to be of service.
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

kstars
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Re: AA online?

Post by kstars »

Thank you so much!!!!
kstars

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Tosh
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Re: AA online?

Post by Tosh »

Hi Kstars,

Welcome to the forum. :mrgreen:
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)

kstars
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Re: AA online?

Post by kstars »

Thank you! I wish actual meetings were this friendly! HeHe

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ann2
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Re: AA online?

Post by ann2 »

Welcome Kstars! We also have email meetings www.e-aa.org/maillist.html and this forum is a wonderful meeting time for me as well.

Check out the women's email meeting and the women's lounge mailing list for less formal fellowship.

Congratulations on setting yourself to take the steps -- that was certainly the best thing I ever did, even though I waited 17 years in sobriety to finish them . . . you don't have to wait so long!

Hugs! Glad you're here,

Ann
"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada

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Tosh
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Re: AA online?

Post by Tosh »

Hi Kstar,

We sometimes read too much into situations and impute our level of understanding onto them; which isn't always the reality of the situation. Recently I was helping a lad called Michael, who's back out drinking now. He used to come to meetings and just keep himself to himself. If anyone spoke to him he looked noticeably uncomfortable, but since I used to pick him up and drop him off before and after meetings, he was comfortable enough with me. But he really didn't like the other group members.

In the end, he stopped going to meetings; he told me 'But everyone there looks down on me' and stuff like that.

But the funny thing is, the very people who he perceived 'looked down on him' used to say to me, "How is Michael doing?', or 'Stick close to Michael, he needs all the help he can get'. So these people that Michael thought looked down on him, actually just wanted him to get better, but due to Michael's demeanour, they were stand-offish. The problem wasn't with Michael, it was with them; they just didn't know what to say to him, they didn't want to make him feel awkward, so they stood back; but they certainly didn't look down on him. They wanted nothing but positive things for Michael. Even now they ask if I've heard from him.

Perceptions eh?

And I'm not saying that to insinuate that you're 'stand offish' or anything of the sort, but only to illustrate how our perceptions aren't always correct. Mine tend to go the other way. When I see people whispering to each other and looking at me, I say, "You're talking about me, aren't you? Please don't tell me what you're saying, I'll get even more big-headed!" :mrgreen:

Anyway, I'm in waffle mode. I'm nosey too. Please tell us where you're from (just in general terms); I'm from the UK, Newcastle, but live in South East Wales in a lovely part of the UK because of the history and the ancient forests. I live with my parter, Helen, and step-daughter, Jess (15 yo), and a small dog called Scooby (though he's more like Scrappy Doo). And what about your sponsor, how are you getting on with her?

Nosey eh? :mrgreen:
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)

happycamper
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Re: AA online?

Post by happycamper »

Welcome to eAA group!
Faith without works is dead

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leejosepho
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Re: AA online?

Post by leejosepho »

Tosh wrote:... So these people that Michael thought looked down on him, actually just wanted him to get better, but due to Michael's demeanour, they were stand-offish. The problem wasn't with Michael, it was with them; they just didn't know what to say to him, they didn't want to make him feel awkward, so they stood back; but they certainly didn't look down on him. They wanted nothing but positive things for Michael. Even now they ask if I've heard from him.
I think there are many "Michaels" among us, and being one of them, I am today grateful there are people like yourself who are willing and able to put a bit of extra effort into understanding and being accepting of all!
=======================
"We A.A.s do not *stay* away from drinking [one day at a
time] -- we *grow* away from drinking [one day at a time]."
("Lois Remembers", page 168, quoting Bill, emphasis added)
=======================

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Duke
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Re: AA online?

Post by Duke »

Thanks for sharing that Lee. I too, can identify with "Michael". My favorite meeting today is one I was convinced was filled with people who looked down on me when I first attended. Fortunately, I had a patient sponsor who encouraged and reassured me. As I said, today it's my favorite meeting. Perception is a mighty force.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa

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