Trying to muster the courage for sobriety and questions about AA meetings

New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.
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hold my hand<3
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Trying to muster the courage for sobriety and questions about AA meetings

Post by hold my hand<3 » Fri Aug 16, 2019 12:18 am

Hi everyone,
Silly me for thinking I could give moderation a try 😔. I have an addictive personality and so far I have just accepted that about myself. I’ve learned to be happy despite my demons but now, I’m starting to reach a point where I am sick of being controlled by my alcoholism. My loving husband has been so accepting of my flaws and imperfections (he drinks too but can control himself much better than me). Lately, however, I think even he is getting fed up with my demons 😔 I am scared to take the first steps of going sober. I am worried that I will not have the strength to quit like all the other strong people on this site. I am working on building the strength and courage to taking the first steps to achieving a healthier path, but I realize I will need some outside help.

The thought of AA meetings scares me so so much, but after reading about so many success stories on this site I have started considering this AA option more and more.

Maybe some of you can help answer some questions I have about AA meetings. Do the meetings cost money? Do I just show up and walk in or do I need to call ahead of time. Will I need to become super religious in order to fit in? Will I be the only one who has not found sobriety yet and still struggles with drinking? It seems like everyone who goes is already cured. Has anyone found success with YouTube meetings rather than in person meetings?

Please help me, every night I think I can find a sober path on my own, but then, during my triggering drinking hours, my demons talk me into going to the dark boozie side, and I fall for it 😔 I am so ashamed and disappointed in myself for letting myself be over taken by such an ugly disease😔

Thank you for ready my post.

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Jojo2
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Re: Trying to muster the courage for sobriety and questions about AA meetings

Post by Jojo2 » Fri Aug 16, 2019 1:12 am

hold my hand<3 wrote:
Fri Aug 16, 2019 12:18 am
Hi everyone,
Silly me for thinking I could give moderation a try.
I’m starting to reach a point where I am sick of being controlled by my alcoholism.
I realize I will need some outside help.

The thought of AA meetings scares me so so much, but after reading about so many success stories on this site I have started considering this AA option more and more.

Maybe some of you can help answer some questions I have about AA meetings. Do the meetings cost money? Do I just show up and walk in or do I need to call ahead of time. Will I need to become super religious in order to fit in? Will I be the only one who has not found sobriety yet and still struggles with drinking? It seems like everyone who goes is already cured. Has anyone found success with YouTube meetings rather than in person meetings?

Thank you for reaching out. None of us aspired to AA, but we found it when the time was right and we had exhausted all other avenues.
Many of us only wish we had found AA earlier. The relief of knowing I was not alone, the relief of knowing there was a solution to my problem, the sense of hope and sense of belonging I found at my first meeting have never left me. There is absolutely nothing to be nervous about. Every single person in the room will have been in your shoes. I found this online site later and would recommend online to supplement face to face contact. You might also find XA Speakers helpful on youtube. As an isolated drinker, I had spent far too much time hiding away. I was shaking like a leaf at my first meeting. We are used to people crying their way through the meetings too. Nothing you say or do will not have been seen before.
After that first meeting, I couldn't wait to get to my next. It was a novelty for me to drive sober to lots of new places at night !

Everyone in that meeting attended their first meeting at some point. It’s okay that you don’t know anyone. It’s okay that you don’t know what you’re supposed to do. All of that is fine. The people in that room really want to help. We get excited when we see new people, and we really want to hear about how people feel and how they’re doing. Sharing those feelings can help you to connect with the people who want to help you. Even sharing feelings of nervousness or fear is really well received. Sharing those feelings means meeting people, and that can be really powerful.

You are an AA member if and when you say so. The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking, and many of us were not very wholehearted about that when we first approached AA.


I have provided links to locate meetings in your area. Just turn up to any meeting of your choice and you will be made to feel very welcome. You only have to give your first name and there is no obligation to speak or share until you are ready.
An AA meeting may take one of several forms, but at any meeting you will find alcoholics talking about what drink did to their lives and personalities, what actions they took to deal with this, and how they are living their lives today.
We in AA know what it is like to be addicted to alcohol, and to be unable to keep promises made to others and ourselves that we will stop drinking. We are not professional therapists. Our only qualification for helping others to recover from alcoholism is that we have recovered ourselves. Problem drinkers coming to us know that recovery is possible because they see people who have done it.

There are no dues or fees for AA membership. An AA group will usually have a collection during the meeting to cover running expenses, such as rent, coffee, etc., and to this all members are free to contribute as much or as little as they wish, but you are not expected to contribute at your first meeting.

AA is not a religious organisation, nor is it allied to any religious organisation. It is a spiritual programme. The majority of AA members believe that we have found the solution to our drinking problem not through individual willpower, but through a power greater than ourselves. However, everyone defines this power as he or she wishes. Many people call it God, others think it is the collective therapy of AA, still others don't believe in it at all. There is room in AA for people of all shades of belief and non-belief.

In our experience, the people who recover in AA are those who:

Stay away from the first drink;
Attend AA meetings regularly;
Seek out the people in AA who have successfully stayed sober for some time;
Try to put into practice the AA programme of recovery.

Remember that alcoholism is a progressive illness. Take it seriously, even if you think you are at an early stage of the illness. Alcoholism is a killer disease. If you are an alcoholic and if you continue to drink, in time you will get worse.


We in the fellowship of AA believe there is no such thing as a cure for alcoholism. We can never return to normal drinking, and our ability to stay away from alcohol depends on maintaining our physical, mental, and spiritual health. This we can achieve by going to meetings regularly and putting into practice what we learn there. In addition, we find it helps us to stay sober if we help other alcoholics.

You will also find much information and meetings near you by following the links below:

A.A. Near You.

http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources

Outside US and Canada >

https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa- ... es/world/1

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ebear
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Re: Trying to muster the courage for sobriety and questions about AA meetings

Post by ebear » Fri Aug 16, 2019 8:44 am

Hi, hold my hand.
The thought of AA meetings scares me so so much
It might help you to write down what you are afraid of. Look those fears over and ask, how much real danger is here? How much am I imagining? Sometimes FEAR, I have heard, is False Evidence Appearing Real. I have also heard of two responses to FEAR, two choices: F--- Everything And Run, or Face Everything And Recover! =biggrin

PS: We don't get "cured." What you see in those who seem "cured" are people living in the Solution, practicing the Steps daily, and enjoying the Promises from the book Alcoholics Anonymous ("the Big Book"):

Promise 1: If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.

Promise 2: We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

Promise 3: We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

Promise 5: No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

Promise 6: That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

Promise 7: We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

Promise 8: Self-seeking will slip away.

Promise 9: Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

Promise 10: Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.

Promise 11: We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

Promise 12: We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
If you don't change direction, you'll end up where you're headed.

Serenity-Now66
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Re: Trying to muster the courage for sobriety and questions about AA meetings

Post by Serenity-Now66 » Fri Aug 16, 2019 10:15 am

Hardest part (for me) was admitting it to myself. Im a shy person, so I was a bit nervous on the meetings. Everyone was great, made me feel at ease, after that 1st meeting, I couldn't wait to go back. I embrace it now..

hold my hand<3
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Re: Trying to muster the courage for sobriety and questions about AA meetings

Post by hold my hand<3 » Fri Aug 16, 2019 11:14 am

Thank you so much for your replies, your wisdom means so much to me. Your replies are giving me the courage to face my first steps to sobriety. I am feeling more confident each day. I’m planning to begin my journey starting next week. Please wish me luck.

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PaigeB
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Re: Trying to muster the courage for sobriety and questions about AA meetings

Post by PaigeB » Fri Aug 16, 2019 1:27 pm

hold my hand<3 wrote:
Fri Aug 16, 2019 12:18 am
Will I need to become super religious in order to fit in?
:lol: :D :o =surprised =biggrin :shock: :wink: :roll: :| :mrgreen: :) =wink

We are all different. I am/was a total atheist. A "firm" atheist and yet I found a wonderful sober life! I still do not believe in any conventional western religion or god, even though I live in good ole Iowa. LOL NO ONE forced me even though I expected they might. No, in fact they told me "Do Not Change! I know a lot of people who identify as atheist & will need to hear your story in order to get sober!" Heck I didn't even say a real AA prayer before I had in over 7 years sober!

So no - do not change too much! Just walk in and tell a woman that you are new. That's all you need to do!
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

Mike O
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Re: Trying to muster the courage for sobriety and questions about AA meetings

Post by Mike O » Mon Aug 26, 2019 3:51 am

...and, most importantly, start reading

http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous

This is the A.A. programme.

:D

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avaneesh912
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Re: Trying to muster the courage for sobriety and questions about AA meetings

Post by avaneesh912 » Mon Aug 26, 2019 5:31 am

Do the meetings cost money?

Most meetings here in Georgia, US members contribute 1/2$ into the basket each meeting.

Do I just show up and walk in or do I need to call ahead of time?

Yes, just show up. They usually ask if there are newcomers, and you can raise your hand and say your first name. You dont even have to admit you are an alcoholic.

Will I need to become super religious in order to fit in?

Nope. None at all. I was a pseudo hindu when I walked into the rooms of AA. We build a relationship with our higher power as we work the 12 steps.

Will I be the only one who has not found sobriety yet and still struggles with drinking?
Sobriety is not a requirement, only a desire to try the program of aa (the 12 steps).

It seems like everyone who goes is already cured. Has anyone found success with YouTube meetings rather than in person meetings?
LOL. We have to take effort. Most require f2f meetings, so they can find a fellowship that they can associate with, also find a person who can help them walk through the 12 steps. But I do have great appreciation for those awesome big book studies on Youtube. It gives me profound knowledge from those who had a thorough understanding of the book
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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