2 months of sobriety and Driving my partner up wall

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BillyRocks
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2 months of sobriety and Driving my partner up wall

Post by BillyRocks »

HI i'm Guy and i'm an alcoholic.

2 months ago today. I woke up after a huge bender, looked at the faces of people I love and went to my first AA meeting.

Its been a full on 2 months, smashed by work, my mother had an operation and a lot of fence mending.
But I haven't picked up a drink. I'm 37 now and this is the longest period without a drink in 20 years.

Over the last week I have been on a "mental high" bordering manic, and I cant stop talking. Mostly positive but mostly garbage. I mean my partner doesn't need to know the details of how i took my pickle off my burger at lunch.
Anyways got a sponsor yesterday, and have been assured this will probably calm down. Its all the emotions that i had locked down tight with alcohol starting to spew back out. I haven't got the self regulation skills (surprise surprise) and having to learn essentially how to live again is pretty rough but rewarding.

Just curious about others experiences when the honeymoon period starts to end?

Guy

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avaneesh912
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Re: 2 months of sobriety and Driving my partner up wall

Post by avaneesh912 »

When we start dropping the resentments and fear and start accepting others by making amends, usually the voice in the head subsides. That is why the 4th and 5th steps are very important and needed quickly so we know what is driving us to alcohol.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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Brock
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Re: 2 months of sobriety and Driving my partner up wall

Post by Brock »

I believe this varies from person to person, I can’t recall being talkative in my first few months, if anything I believe I was quieter than when I was drinking, drinking often had my mouth working overtime. But having what is called here ‘the honeymoon,’ may be a reference to what many go through in the first couple of months, often called a ‘pink cloud,’ when the whole stopping drinking deal seems easier than we expected.

Well done on getting a sponsor, and hopefully he will as advised get you to the steps that usually make the greatest difference, like 4 & 5. In the meantime, I expect that any partner worth having will understand, once you explain that it’s a temporary change in behavior. It’s a bit tough having the challenges you have with work and your mother, well done on hanging in, when we do the steps like #5, usually any impulse to drink is gone, regardless of what is happening in our lives.

If I can I might advise that most of the ‘fence mending,’ regarding where you may have hurt others, be left for the steps designed for that purpose, for the time being try to get a good grasp of #’s 1-5, then things will become clearer, I love where it says in the big book after #5 -
Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the universe.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

tomsteve
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Re: 2 months of sobriety and Driving my partner up wall

Post by tomsteve »

BillyRocks wrote: Just curious about others experiences when the honeymoon period starts to end?

Guy
i was quite a miserable wreck when i got into aa so didnt experience that at the beginning. when the fog of alcohol wore of i started to experience something similar. when it settled down was when it was time to seriously put the program into action.
felt pretty dam good to staighten out mentally and emotionally. i hadnt ever experienced that in my life.

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beginningagain7
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Re: 2 months of sobriety and Driving my partner up wall

Post by beginningagain7 »

I would suggest that you talk to your partner and explain what is going on inside you. Tell what is going on and then explain that this situation will pass and you should be back to somewhat normal. And please ask the partner to be patent with you until things straighten out.

Have a good day,
Beginningagain4
John T.

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Tosh
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Re: 2 months of sobriety and Driving my partner up wall

Post by Tosh »

When I put down the drink I found I was fuelled by tension and anxiety. Not always in a bad way, but I remember I did annoy my partner and even some AA members. I just couldn't sit down and relax. I was fidgety and 'extreme'. I sometimes felt like I didn't know what to do with myself. Getting to sleep and staying asleep was a major issue too.

I remember being jealous of my dog; he knows how to chill without the need for whisky.

A good drink would've settled me down...

I found getting a sponsor to guide me through the steps was the solution. I did Steps 5 to 8 in one evening, with my sponsor, and afterwards I remember feeling totally calm and at peace with the world on my drive home to make my first amend to my partner. It almost felt like I'd had a few drinks - the inner peace - but without all the crap that comes from drinking.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)

philly25
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Re: 2 months of sobriety and Driving my partner up wall

Post by philly25 »

Hey Guy - thanks for sharing.

2 months is awesome. Being new in sobriety is scary as hell. A lot of the stuff I learned in the beginning was to just try to keep it very simple. During my first few years of sobriety, I felt a little crazy everyday, and I made 7 million mistakes, including at work, in relationships, etc etc.

Just don't drink - under any and all circumstances, and keep at it.

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Blue Moon
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Re: 2 months of sobriety and Driving my partner up wall

Post by Blue Moon »

When I got here I had a huge sense of relief. Finally, a solution to the problem! I kept talking about it, and didn't understand why everyone else wasn't as excited as I was. I also started looking for solutions to other people's problems.

The truth is that I was still acting on self-will. Still the bit-part actor trying to direct the show. If only the world would do as I say, all will be well.

Today, I do know better. But suggesting something and watching someone do the exact opposite can still be hugely frustrating, especially where drinking or some other life-threatening situation is involved.

The Steps hold the key to this problem, starting with the wording in chap. 4 "we were having difficulty with personal relationships". Drinking really is just a symptom.
Ian S
AKA Blue Moon

BillyRocks
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Re: 2 months of sobriety and Driving my partner up wall

Post by BillyRocks »

Thanks All,

It really makes a difference knowing i'm not in this alone.
So I spoke to my sponsor and he said to get to more meetings. And yep the heads constant chatter has started to clear. Manifesting in other odd ways though, such as dreams.
I just keep going back.

MrsC
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Re: 2 months of sobriety and Driving my partner up wall

Post by MrsC »

I have been sober for 9 weeks and like you have been drinking for 20 years (i'm 35). I have struggled at times and found my emotions going from high to low. I have been over analysing things and i think i have been doing this as a means of distracting myself. I have already decided to redecorate my house too - again looking for distraction which sounds like you are doing the same. I have also been having drinking dreams too! Feel free to pm me as it would be nice to speak to someone at the same stage as me! Entirely up to you though! Wishing you all the best. Donna.

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