New to AA

New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.

New to AA

Postby carlyburgess26 » Mon Jul 02, 2018 12:12 pm

Hello everyone!
My name is Carly and I'm admitting to myself that I'm an alcoholic. This has been a major struggle in my life since I was 16 years old. Now I'm 23 and I work as a bartender/server and my drinking problem has been absolutely awful and apparently I don't have any self control anymore. I'm two days sober but I'm scared that I could go back any second (especially at work where there's alcohol all around me). I need some real help because I have a little one year old daughter and I want to fix this problem before it starts to affect her life. I feel weak-minded, selfish and guilty. My question is this, how do I go about getting immediate help on these forums? I'm new to this and I'd love to know the legitimate steps to staying sober. I don't want to drink anymore. I have messed up so many friendships, relationships and family members over my problem. My 33 year old brother Justin died from drug/alcohol abuse. When I'm drunk I get so angry and attack anyone around me that I can. People have called me abrasive multiple times while drinking and it hurts. I end up hating myself the next day because I don't feel like that person is ME. I wan't to be the carefree, happy person that I used to be but it feels like that's impossible or too far away. I'm just looking for advice and help. Thank you so much!
- Carly
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Re: New to AA

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Jul 02, 2018 12:59 pm

Carly,
Welcome to the forums. Alcoholism is a 3 fold disease. Its not just about drinking lot of alcohol and doing wild stuff after we drink. When the alcoholic puts the drink down, he/she can't handle life. Alcoholics get cranky and lead them back to a drink. Its a vicious cycle. Thats what we need to realize first. To overcome that we in AA suggest members work the 12 steps of AA so they can lead a meaningful life without alcohol or any other mind altering substance.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: New to AA

Postby Brock » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:06 pm

Welcome here Carly.

The first step to getting and staying happily sober is admitting we have a problem, and you have done that to some extent right here. These forums can be helpful in guiding you, but really live meetings and face to face contact with recovered and recovering alcoholics is advised.

I suspect you have guessed we may say look for another job, and the truth is an alcoholic when they are at first learning the program of AA, should not be working in a bar environment, but line up something else first, no point being unemployed.

I expect others will offer a word of advise, I will put up some links to literature that you might read when you have time, we are very open here to any questions or comments, so don’t be shy saying or asking anything that’s on your mind.

Is A.A. For You – 12 Questions.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/is-aa-for ... can-answer

A Brief Guide To AA.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-42_abriefguidetoaa.pdf

Three Chapters From The Big Book-

1.The Doctors Opinion.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbo ... pinion.pdf

2.There Is A Solution.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt2.pdf

3.More About Alcoholism.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf

A.A. Meeting Finder.
A.A. Near You.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: New to AA

Postby 1Peter5:10 » Mon Jul 02, 2018 9:38 pm

Welcome Carly, it 'sounds' as though you are in the right place. I have heard from and about bartenders who sobered up without leaving their jobs. My sponsor, successfully sponsored several. Their road was not easy, and, without exception they say they relied heavily on "one day at a time."

It is a common trait for alcoholics and addicts of all kinds to dwell too much on the past or the future, and that makes our emotional sobreity all the more elusive. If we focus only on "what can I do today?" and (before sleeping) "what must I do tomorrow?" we often finds things go better for us.

I unfortunately was not the type who could sober up under such conditions. I had to take the elevator all the way to the basement before I finally got sober.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease, once we have it, once we REALLY have it, it never gets better (easier to quit), it never stays the same. Page 30 of our Big Book contains a useful essay on the topic.

Personally alcoholism caused me to be unable to hold a job, any job, for several years. I lost my entire family and was living in a flop house surviving on food from soup kitchens, selling my electronic gear and selling my plasma.

Today I have almost two years sober and my family still does not speak to me.

The advice I have to give is this:
1) Do not turn down, avoid or refuse ANY sort of help (eg multiple meetings per day, out patient counseling, changing jobs etcm) because it is "too much medicine." Do not try to find an easier softer way. No one has ever gotten ill or overdosed from "too much" anti-alcohol treatment. It's not like taking too many aspirin, too much cough medicine, etc..

2) Do not try to "fo AA but without the God parts." AA is not like some charlatan tv faith healer, but it DOES require that you get in touch with your own inner self and inner core beliefd in ways that can only be described as spiritual terms.

To thy ownself be true.
I wish you well.
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Re: New to AA

Postby Spirit Flower » Mon Jul 02, 2018 11:25 pm

Welcome Carly,

I got sober when I was 26. I went to AA meetings, got a sponsor to help with the steps, got involved in the fellowship of AA. I am now 59 with nearly 33 years of sobriety. I have had a super adult life.

To get immediate help: go to an AA meeting. You may be scared or think you don't have to or are not bad enough. Everyone thinks that. Get over it. We all had a first time. Once in the doors, you will find people who are recovered alcoholics and willing to share with you what they did. ( caveat: sometimes in small towns, the meetings are pretty small with not very many long term sober attendees).

Meetings are not mandatory but certainly make things easier.
...a score card reading zero...
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Re: New to AA

Postby Jojo2 » Tue Jul 03, 2018 1:42 am

Welcome to the e-AA group and to the Discussion Forums Carly.

Glad you are here.

Congratulations on recognising that you have a problem and reaching out for help.

To help guide you towards the Twelve Steps, we provide a Temporary Sponsor facility here at e-AA.

A temporary sponsor is a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous who is willing to share their experience, strength, and hope with another alcoholic as a way of service to help insure their own sobriety.

Their main function is to help guide the new person towards the 12 Steps, and also, where appropriate, to help guide the new person to face to face meetings and a f2f sponsor in their local AA community.

Please complete the form here:

http://www.e-aa.org/form_sponsors.php


An excellent introduction on sponsorship, permanent or temporary, with questions and answers, is this pamphlet
from GSO :

Questions and Answers on Sponsorship:
http://aa.org/pdf/products/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf

Please let me know if you have questions or need further assistance.
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