Help-I’m new to this

New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.
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Help-I’m new to this

Post by anniea » Thu Apr 19, 2018 12:24 am

I’ve been a drinker since I was 13. Been thru a lot but we don’t need to go into that.
I’m 27 now. I focus on work, all I do is work, go the the gym and go home. I’ve become a homebody which is fine but it’s actually made me drink more. My wine nights turn into 2 bottles. I have 3-4 bottle of wine a week. Actually I probably have a bottle of wine every other day.
I know my drinking is getting out of control. I don’t have the will power to stop. I hate myself after drinking. I’ve struggled with this for YEARS. I’ve debated going to an A.A. meeting multiple times but I’m too scared to go. I’m too scared to face my problem. But as I’m sitting in a bubble bath after drinking a bottle of red wine and 2 glasses of captain on the rocks I know I need to change.

I need help to get started. What do I do? How do you become strong enough to go to that first meeting?

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Re: Help-I’m new to this

Post by avaneesh912 » Thu Apr 19, 2018 4:49 am

The book alcoholics anonymous is a good place to start. We need to get convinced that we have problem and the main thing is, our mind will continue to trick us into thinking we can handle a drink or two. Thats the insanity. We have a spiritual malady, a peculiar mental twist and then the craving part, where once we put a drink or two, we will drink till we black out or some thing distructive happens.

There are some good women sponsors online that you could tap into.

All you have to say is, I am willing to try this program, people at the meeting will welcome you. Feel free to visit one of the local meetings.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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Re: Help-I’m new to this

Post by Spirit Flower » Thu Apr 19, 2018 5:44 am


You drinking is alot like mine was. I thought, "if I keep drinking like this, I'll end up an alcoholic." Well, I already was an alcoholic, I just didn't know what an alcoholic was, and that I couldn't stop drinking on my own. I was 26 when a shrink sent me to AA. I loved it! AA was a far better place than my apartment. So go. You will find amazing people. I am now 59 with 32 years sober. I was spared all those decades of drunkenness. I have had a fantastic sober adult life.
...a score card reading zero...

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Re: Help-I’m new to this

Post by Roberth » Thu Apr 19, 2018 8:10 am

Hello Anniea and welcome to E-AA. My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. Well if you are thinking about stopping your drinking you are in the right place. Many of us here with help from each other have been able to solve our problem with alcohol. And the best part is we do it just one day at a time. I was told when I was new the I would never have to take another drink if I didn’t want to and even if I wanted to I wouldn’t have to if I was willing to do a few simple things. That was over 26 years ago and it has been true for me and can be for you as well.
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!

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Re: Help-I’m new to this

Post by PaigeB » Thu Apr 19, 2018 10:43 am

How do you become strong enough to go to that first meeting?
We tend to dislike giving advice, but I will tell you my experience.

I thought and thought. I even drove to the place where the meeting was held. but I could not get out of the car. I had been talking to a woman over the phone and I called her and I told her about what I was going through. I asked her to see if she could find someone to pick me up and drive me to the meeting and walk in with me. Well, she called me back and said, "I couldn't find anyone who could give you a ride, but I found someone who needs a ride to that meeting, so go to this address tomorrow and pick her up."

Well - that was that. My pride and integrity kicked in and I went and got that woman for a ride to the meeting. It broke the ice for me. After that I was able to, and did, go to a meeting a day for 90 days. Then I picked a Home Group where I go every week. I have never failed to do so except on the weeks I am on vacation. Then I try to hit at least one out of town meeting.

Here is what I learned: I learned that I can't think my way into a new way of acting. I have to act my way into a new way of thinking. Later on I heard this referred to as having "Smart Feet". I went to a meeting no matter what my brain was telling me. I followed my feet. It has come in handy over the years! I also learned to "Be where my hands are." I literally held open my empty hands and said, "What do I need to do right this minute? What is the next Right Thing to DO." This is a "practical program of action" and I need to get busy living or get busy dying.
... action. Big Book Bill's Story, p.9
They had told of a simple religious idea and a practical program of action.
Pg 42 Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous ~ Then they outlined the spiritual answer and program of action which a hundred of them had followed successfully.
BB Working With Others, p.89 ~ Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics.
Thanks for letting me share.
Step 6 is "AA's way of stating, the best possible attitude one can take in order to make a beginning on this lifetime job... with most of them we shall have to be content with patient improvement." 12&12 Step Six, p.65

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Re: Help-I’m new to this

Post by Tosh » Thu Apr 19, 2018 12:00 pm

anniea wrote: I need help to get started. What do I do? How do you become strong enough to go to that first meeting?
I'm not sure that 'strength' came into it for me. I'd been considering suicide for a long time, things had gotten really bad for me, and - for a couple of years - I hated it when I regained consciousness in the morning.

One morning I woke up and I just couldn't keep on doing what I was doing and luckily enough I ended up at my first A.A. meeting.

So strength wasn't the driver, pain and suffering got me to my first meeting.

That doesn't need to be you though; you could just brazen your way into your first meeting; they're not that scary you know? You get coffee and biscuits too.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)

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Re: Help-I’m new to this

Post by Brock » Thu Apr 19, 2018 12:12 pm

Welcome to e-AA anniea.

Some of our usual good advise has been given already, I would like to add my few cents worth. I enjoyed reading your post, since it spelled out some problems that virtually everyone who is an alcoholic has, certain lines caught my eye which I will quote -
How do you become strong enough to go to that first meeting?
We all had to cross that barrier, and as others said it turns out an easy one to cross. It’s just a group of friendly folks drinking coffee, and discussing alcoholism and life, but like everything else some groups we feel more comfortable in than others, so trying a few different ones is always a good idea. By googling ‘AA Inter group’ followed by you cities name, you should find a detailed meeting list, you may see one or more meetings marked ladies only, or the contact number given on the site can inform you further, you might feel more comfortable in a group of ladies only, later on you can try the mixed meetings, either way ladies only or mixed, please believe there is nothing to fear.
I have 3-4 bottle of wine a week. Actually I probably have a bottle of wine every other day.
Don’t fall into the trap many of us do, you may hear people at meetings speak of drinking a lot more than that. The temptation is, (and I fell for this), to think well I’m not that bad, we have a tendency to look for differences, when we should be looking for similarities. Whatever stage others have reached, if it’s worse than you, remember you are heading there.
I don’t have the will power to stop.
Wonderful! You are ahead of the game already. Too many of us go through great misery, some even to the grave, trying to prove we have the will power to beat it.

I will put up links to some literature, perhaps you will have a read when you have time, part is to chapters in the ‘big book,’ which was mentioned by another member. Please remember you are among friends here, ask any question or make any comment, we enjoy communicating in this way, and it helps us as well.

Is A.A. For You – 12 Questions. ... can-answer

A Brief Guide To AA.

Three Chapters From The Big Book-

1.The Doctors Opinion. ... pinion.pdf

2.There Is A Solution.

3.More About Alcoholism.

A.A. Meeting Finder.
A.A. Near You.

We also have a temporary sponsor program here -
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

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