Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby Roly-Poly » Thu Mar 15, 2018 2:38 pm

This is a great thread, thank you! I'm seeing myself in so many of your situations and I appreciate your guiding this n00b.

In response to the title's question, no, I don't feel safe at all. Just calling it a reward makes it something too precious, too crucial (and therefore maybe not healthy.) Someone might reward himself with a bowl of ice-cream, but by the time he's assigned it the lofty category of a reward, it might be better to weigh the long-term consequences (remaining overweight) of this short-term reward.
My bicycle racing (and drinking) friends would always joking refer to the cycle of detoxing (a hard ride or race), followed by an equally strenuous session of retoxing, but we never referred to it as a reward. (Maybe that would be admitting we had a problem.)

But I'm very new at this and am learning. (Learning a lot and very quickly, thanks to you guys!)
Sober since 3/14/18. (Pi day.)
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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby pterodactyl » Sat Mar 24, 2018 7:20 pm

This is a great thread - and it gets to the point of the question I posed elsewhere.

If I can drink one beer without wanting another - if I drank that beer to fit in socially - does that mean I might not be an alcoholic, even though I've been overdoing it for a while?

For those of you with solid recovery - how have your lives improved?
When you engage in social situations where others are drinking - do you feel comfortable or do you find drinking distasteful in general?

Would you recommend that those new to recovery only socialize with people who do not drink?

Thank you again - great thread.
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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby Blue Moon » Sun Mar 25, 2018 3:05 am

pterodactyl wrote:If I can drink one beer without wanting another - if I drank that beer to fit in socially - does that mean I might not be an alcoholic, even though I've been overdoing it for a while?


Many an alcoholic could have just 1 drink. What the alcoholic cannot do is sustain controlled drinking. Sooner or later the "allergy" kicks in. So we cannot know if that was the 1 drink we could have safely until we have taken it. Russian roulette.

After recovery, this ceases to be a problem. If you could convince me that I could take 1 drink and never get drunk, I would happily decline the offer today.

For those of you with solid recovery - how have your lives improved?


My life and motivations are completely different. I know people today who don't recognise the person I describe that I once was.

When you engage in social situations where others are drinking - do you feel comfortable or do you find drinking distasteful in general?

I don't find others' drinking distasteful. I find others' drunkenness distasteful in a social setting. But I always did, even when I was drinking.

Would you recommend that those new to recovery only socialize with people who do not drink?

I recommend to stay away from situations they associate with drinking, if possible, whether others are drinking or not.

In early sobriety, I sometimes went to the local bar/restaurant with my dad to enjoy a meal. I was fine with that, as I rarely drank in bars. I had greater difficulty when I went to my sponsor's home and was offered some grape juice, because I drank a lot of wine at home.

So it's not about where you are or who you're with, it's about what your motives are. Those may be unclear for some time into recovery.
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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby Spirit Flower » Sun Mar 25, 2018 5:46 pm

The experiment of the first drink is tried time after time. I've watched it over and over and over.

Hey I drank 1 and nothing happened.
Hey, I made it 2 days and then I drank 1.
Hey, I drank 2
....
Oh, I'm in trouble again.
...a score card reading zero...
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