Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

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Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby minime » Sun Mar 04, 2018 3:43 am

If you fully fully trust yourself, is there such thing as moderation?

Are there any recording alcoholics who still on occasions carefully drink? Or do you have to go fully without forever?
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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby Brock » Sun Mar 04, 2018 6:00 am

Yes if you trust yourself try moderation, our book says we will be happy for those who can, the fact is alcoholics of the type who the AA program was designed for, can not drink in moderation.

And again we don’t drink moderately on certain occasions, because we can’t take one or two drinks like a normal person then stop and feel OK, we will want more and more, and if we can’t have it we feel like crap. But most importantly, alcoholics who do the program and practice it, do not want to drink. Please don’t imagine AA just helps us to resist temptation, the program is designed to remove the desire to drink, we are not struggling, we find a way of life without drink which is better than any life we had before, we just don’t want to drink anymore.
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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby Spirit Flower » Sun Mar 04, 2018 6:17 am

the program is designed to remove the desire to drink, we are not struggling, we find a way of life without drink which is better than any life we had before, we just don’t want to drink anymore.
true for me!
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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby avaneesh912 » Sun Mar 04, 2018 6:24 am

If we are real alcoholic, the first issue is our mind will always trick us back into taking that first drink. And after we succumb to the desire (as stated by the doctor), it sets off the physical craving.

Also i just noticed it, the "ever" in this statement: We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control, is in italics. So ever after 10, 20.... years of sober life, if I were to pick up, my craving will not change, it could be worse because of the aging. They nicely illustrate it with the story "Man of Thirty".

But we have a 3rd component of the disease. The state of the mind if not treated it gets squirely. Thats why we see many in fellowship loose their sobriety because they failed to enlarge their spiritual life.

So go back to your drinking history, take a look at few of the recent attempts, see how your mind came up with a justification and then see if you were able to stick to amount you originally started with. Also between those bouts, were you at ease with not drinking.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby 1Peter5:10 » Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:50 am

Please read the first few pages of Ch. 3.

Either you fall into the category of hopeless alcoholic or you do not. I do.

For anyone who does, alcoholism is a progressive disease. When active, it gets wirse, never stays the same, never gets better.. One drink will never satisfy us. It never gets better. We never get cured. We can never return to drinking like normal people.

We will never control our drinking. We are powerless.

We are like men who have lost our legs. They never grow new ones.

Nor can we even avoid that first drink on our own.

No medicine, no treatment, no books, no meetings will protect us forlong. Sooner it later we will, our minds will ALWAYS find some reason, some resentment, some reward that will drive us to have 'that first drink.'

Please read the first few pages if chapter 3. Either it describes you or it does not. It definitely describes me.
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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby PaigeB » Sun Mar 04, 2018 1:21 pm

Maybe my experience with this will help.

My hubby wanted to go back to Vegas where we got married. I was desperate for sobriety and my Secrets screamed and my brain screamed YES - while my heart screamed YIKES! For a while - not long thank Goodness, more like on & off the thought would come and go - or come and I would entertain it then reject it. Anyway the thought came that "If I was to drink in Vegas, NO ONE would know!" I was never a one-drink kinda gal, so I mean Drink in Vegas, but you know... I thought I could drink & not have consequences. I told Hubby we could not go because of the danger of me drinking. AND due to me playing with the notion, I made it even MORE dangerous - for a while I thought no matter where we went, I would feel that Freedom to Drink.

But I plodded through the Steps once, and I am now working through a second time. I no longer feel Fear of drinking nor do I feel the promise of a comfort from drinking. I KNOW what the words on page 30, Chpt. 3 of the Big Book mean. (Emphasis mine)
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control AND enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.

We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization {P.A.I.N.}. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.

We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones.

Over time I became more comfortable with the FACT that I have a disease and AA has given me a way to live a "solution led" rather than a "fear led" life. I would no sooner drink liquor than I would take the aspirin I know makes me swell up and stop breathing ~ NO MATTER what "opportunity" my brain comes up with for drinking.

I KNOW what the 10th Step Promises mean.
Love and tolerance of others is our code.

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.

Thanks for letting me share.
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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby 1Peter5:10 » Sun Mar 04, 2018 3:58 pm

That's a good post Paige.


In my 18 mos., serious cravings have disappeared, but I sometimes get an urge to drink when things go badly, when I need to sleep, or reward myself and the reward-linked mini-cravings are by far the strongest.

But I have an 'advantage,' most do not.
For me, my bottom was so low, and so sudden, so painful that somewhere inside me I know the truth, for me ANY desire, as a reward or sleep regulator is not really something I need. It is a symptom.

No rational sane human being could go through what I have been through and then think, 'I need a drink. Maybe this time will be different.'

So much risk, for what? In my case no rational person could have a rational desire to drink. EVERY time I want one, (which is not often,)THAT is a symptom.
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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby Blue Moon » Sun Mar 04, 2018 7:59 pm

minime wrote:If you fully fully trust yourself, is there such thing as moderation?

Are there any recording alcoholics who still on occasions carefully drink? Or do you have to go fully without forever?

Depends on your definition of "alcoholic". To me, it's a contradiction in terms - either I'm alcoholic, or I can drink safely.

When I first approached AA, I thought maybe I'm just half-alcoholic because I hadn't done many of the things I hear about in meetings. Never had a DUI, never ended up in jail, never died, never needed a liver transplant, never even missed a day off work due to drinking. But those "never"s just obscured the similarities.

I finally concluded that there's no such thing as "half-alcoholic". To me, that's like being "half-pregnant". Either someone is,or they're not. If they are, there may be different stages in the progression, but in all cases if you go full-term the end result is remarkably similar.

The truth is, I didn't want to be alcoholic because the prospect of me surviving in this world without a drink seemed a very slim and scary one.
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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby 1Peter5:10 » Mon Mar 05, 2018 6:48 am

Is a "normie's" so focused on drinking that he spends part of his days wishing he could have a reward drink the next time he does well at something?

E.G. I believe that a normie, while working hard, putting on a neighbor's roof in the hot sun, or working-out hard at football practice, might be looking forward to finishing the day with a couple of ice cold beers. (IMO That is normal behavior. That is normal thinking.)

But if no beer is forthcoming, if he must instead reward/rehydrate himself with an iced tea, or a drink at the garden hose, an hour later he's done thinking about it.

But I am different. My brain is different. Two hours later, I'm still wishing I coulda had a beer, abd I sit here with a tiny bit if regret wishing that I could have a drink next time I shovel some snow, clean the house, put up the Christmas lights, take down the Christmas lights etc. etc.

What kind of person spends his time between jobs, wishing he could have a beer next time? That's not normal thinking.
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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby tomsteve » Mon Mar 05, 2018 7:25 am

minime wrote:If you fully fully trust yourself, is there such thing as moderation?

define moderation. my rationalizing practicing alcoholic ass was moderating- i NEVER drank when i was passed out.
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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby PaigeB » Mon Mar 05, 2018 11:50 am

For me "moderation" might mean Half Measures and "... Half measures availed us NOTHING."
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby D'oh » Mon Mar 05, 2018 5:23 pm

My, reward of Moderate Drinking, cost me 10 years of Literal Hell, the rest of them went through to get here.

Job, Family, Respect, and Hell. But I made it back, many do not.
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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby Roberth » Mon Mar 05, 2018 8:22 pm

If you fully fully trust yourself, is there such thing as moderation?


not for me I am a alcoholic........
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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby PaigeB » Tue Mar 06, 2018 11:30 am

Fully fully trust myself or fully fully trust my Higher Power... either I am not taking any chances.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Feeling safe to reward yourself with a drink?

Postby PaigeB » Tue Mar 06, 2018 11:31 am

tomsteve wrote:my rationalizing practicing alcoholic ass was moderating- i NEVER drank when i was passed out.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :shock: :P :wink: :mrgreen:
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