Comparing your drinking to your peers

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Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby minime » Sat Mar 03, 2018 11:28 am

Going back to the topic of denial or to be honest confusion as a newbie. My friends drink MORE than me i'd say. I am a bit of a contradiction.. a lightweight alcoholic. I can't go a week without a drink, I hide drink from my partner, I drink every 3 days generally. I don't drink daily & the max I will drink a day is 2 bottles of wine or a small bottle of vodka so I'd feel embarrassed to go to an AA meeting as i'm a fledgling alcoholic.

I feel like in British culture, most people drink a similar amount but I KNOW i have a problem because I can't stop & it feels like a bad attachment. I guess the difference might be that my friends drinking is still youth playful & mine is 'bordem' 'trauma' 'addictive' 'releif' based for sure. But when it comes to denial & wanting another drink, I just think eh everyone else drinks in excess... because honestly, they do.

How do I set in stone in my mind that mine is an unhealthy bond regardless of why my friends/ the nation drink so much?
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby kaosxtech » Sat Mar 03, 2018 1:10 pm

Well diagnose yourself.
Do you have an obsession of the mind: Do you think about alcohol and that first drink when you are sober?
Do you have an alergy of the body: Are you able to do controlled drinking? Can you drink one or two and then stop or do you need to keep drinking?
This is maybe over simplified, but understanding this and that you may be ill is a great beginning.
Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 62)
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby Shoreline » Sat Mar 03, 2018 3:11 pm

When I was 20 I also did not drink as much as my friends. A friend of mine would drink a 12 pack of beer in a night and I would drink 4 beers and get drunk. By the time I was 25, that friend had pretty much stopped drinking regularly and was focused on his job/career. I was going on benders and had been in detox 4 times. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. If you continue drinking, years from now, you may be drinking huge amounts compared to what you drink now.
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby 1Peter5:10 » Sat Mar 03, 2018 8:42 pm

kaosxtech wrote:Well diagnose yourself.
Do you have an obsession of the mind: Do you think about alcohol and that first drink when you are sober?
Do you have an alergy of the body: Are you able to do controlled drinking? Can you drink one or two and then stop or do you need to keep drinking?
This is maybe over simplified, but understanding this and that you may be ill is a great beginning.


That was it for me.

My story was much different but in the end it was beyond missing football at the end of football season, or missing American breakfast when traveling overseas.

I was obsessed with my next drink, planning to have it, where I'd have it etc., in ways no non-alcoholic and no "sorta" alcoholic would.

Even my sick, deranged, excuse-filled mind couldn't out think that. I had to admit I am addicted.
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby avaneesh912 » Sun Mar 04, 2018 6:32 am

Never compare the quantity. Different people go through the torture depending on the individuals capability. You don't know whats going on inside their head. Its better to realize ourselves if we are alcoholic, what others do with their life is their business.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby Blue Moon » Sun Mar 04, 2018 7:34 pm

It's not about the quantity, it's about the motivation. Alcoholism could be equated to "alcohol dependency", distinct from "alcohol abuse". Some who abuse alcohol more than you might never become dependent on it.
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby Roberth » Tue Mar 06, 2018 1:22 pm

Hello Minime, My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. For me it wasn’t about how much or how often I drank but what happened when I did. I didn’t know I was going to have a couple of beers or if it was going to turn into a blackout drunk again. And that was no matter what plans I had made.
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Re: Comparing your drinking to your peers

Postby tomsteve » Tue Mar 06, 2018 2:55 pm

minime wrote:How do I set in stone in my mind that mine is an unhealthy bond regardless of why my friends/ the nation drink so much?



one day early on at a meeting before the meeting, there were just the 3 of us there. 2 guys with combined 50 years of sobriety and me with a month. we got talkin about drinking and hangovers. something i suffered from greatly. tom1 said," i used to have a glass of whiskey on my nightstand so whenever i woke up i would have that drink to keep the hangover from happening."
tom2 said,"i never had hangovers. i didnt sober up long enough to get one."
and there was me- i didnt drink near as much as they did, but ya know- it didnt matter.
our THINKING was exactly the same.
alcoholism has nothing to do with the amount consumed or how often that occurs.its all about the underlying issues and the thinking.

relate to the thinking thing and not the drinking thing.
want to set it inb stone? then do it. stop using others' lives to controlk your actions.
basically, you wont find crap out in public- people gettin knee walkin drunk arent going tell whats going on inside. hit some AA meetings. sit back and listen.
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