New here

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New here

Postby LearningMama » Fri Jan 19, 2018 10:38 pm

Hi there,
Thanks for being here.
I have 200 days today. I just started step 4 and I’m emotional and exhausted. Hating my dad quite a bit right now, I don’t normally dig all this crap up and historically would only rant about him while drinking.
My B.B. meeting was tonight but I have to bring my kids to that meeting and one kid is coughing her head off so I couldn’t go.
So here I am, first post.
July 3, 2017
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Re: New here

Postby avaneesh912 » Sat Jan 20, 2018 4:07 am

Welcome to the board. Congrats on 6 months and also on starting on the 4th. Yes its a difficult to go inward and believe me everybody goes through this. But, in this process you get to see the Ego. See how the mind played a part in all the resentments, fear and relationship issues. The goal eventually is to realize you are beyond the mind. You have tapped into a new dimension. Good luck with the journey. Any questions, please feel free to post here.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: New here

Postby Mike O » Sat Jan 20, 2018 4:40 am

Hi and welcome to the group.
Well done on your 200 days. That's a big achievement.
Yes, I think we can all agree that the 4th step was somewhat emotionally wrenching. But...we do it, and we move on to the next.
It works.
Stick around
:D
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Re: New here

Postby Brock » Sat Jan 20, 2018 5:06 am

Welcome here LearningMama.

It is refreshing to have someone come here and speak about doing the 4th step, I believe it’s this and #5 they had in mind when they wrote in the big book ‘at some of these we balked.’ But personally I found great relief in these two, and what they suggested might happen after #5 came true for me - “Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the universe.”

It’s difficult sometimes to find our part in these resentments, but they are there if we dig, and also it’s suggested we don’t get tied up on this step and stretch it out. Some sponsors say two weeks to do this and make an appointment for the 5th right after, any longer than that is just delaying.

We have good folks here who enjoy helping each other in any way we can, please feel free to make any comments or ask any questions if you wish.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: New here

Postby PaigeB » Sat Jan 20, 2018 9:50 am

LearningMama wrote:Hi there,
Thanks for being here.
I have 200 days today. I just started step 4 and I’m emotional and exhausted....

It is digging deep to get to these things... of course digging is exhausting. Unlike ranting, we are doing real work on the problem. Take heart - this solution has a real and productive ending!

Congrats on 200 days!
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: New here

Postby LearningMama » Sat Jan 20, 2018 12:22 pm

Thanks for the replies.
Yes, my sponsor has given me 2 weeks and I procrastinated for 1. I was, in a way, looking forward to it. But actually making time for it was causing some anxiety and I never have a quiet moment with my 3 kids. But I made the time yesterday and am glad to have it started.
I absolutely believe it will be helpful and I am sticking around. Going to a meeting tonight.
July 3, 2017
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Re: New here

Postby PaigeB » Sat Jan 20, 2018 12:54 pm

I am doing my 5th Step on Sunday. Been working on my 4th for a month plus.

It is a good kind of pain... I know there is healing now. My husband had a kidney stone removed yesterday. Today he is in a different kind of pain, but this pain brings hope - it is quite unlike the pain that sent him to the ER at 6am last week.

And as recovering alcoholics, this is just practice. We will be taking inventory, written or 10th Step, for the rest of our lives. We practice in a big chunk in Steps 4 & 5, then keep up the good work in the 10th & 11th as we grow & trudge forward in healing.

Read page 164 starting at "Our book is meant to be suggestive only... " =smile :wink: :) =ugeek :mrgreen: :wink: =wink :P :D :o :)
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: New here

Postby IngridP » Tue Jan 30, 2018 6:13 pm

Welcome and congrats. I found it helpful to do my 4th step writing as fast as possible so I didn't have to wallow in it.
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