My first post

New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.

My first post

Postby Crissymarie » Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:57 am

Hi, I'm new here. I have been a bit scared to go to an AA meeting and found this site while searching for a meeting near my home. Do you have to get up and speak each time or is it okay to just listen?
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Re: My first post

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Jan 08, 2018 10:09 am

Welcome to e-aa.

Meetings differ from one group to another. But mostly members dont force anyone to speak. But they may ask if there are any new-comers so they can meet and greet after the meeting.

Please feel free to post your questions here and at the f2f meetings, try to find a person you can relate to and ensure that they can help you work the 12 step of AA so you can pick them as your sponsor.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: My first post

Postby Brock » Mon Jan 08, 2018 10:32 am

Welcome here Crissymarie.

Being a bit scared is quite normal, we get enquiries about this often and enjoy giving our experience, because we all were a bit nervous about going ourselves.

The simple answer is that you have nothing to fear, a group of good folks drinking coffee or tea and talking about alcoholism and how they recovered, and no you don’t need to speak if you don’t want to, to be polite if they ask you might say ‘I just want to listen,’ or words like that. We come and go as we please, nothing to sign and nobody to answer to, but like anything else in life it’s people we are dealing with, and some meetings we feel more comfortable in than others, so it’s best to try a few if they are available in your area. As avaneesh said often you may find someone may speak to you after, and offer a list of numbers you may call if you need help, AA’s are generally friendly folks but respect peoples privacy.

I hope you try a meeting and maybe let us know how it went, and ask any questions or make any comments here. It is very hard to understand at first, but trying to be helpful to other alcoholics is something we enjoy and find helpful to ourselves, never be scared to ask for help either in live meetings, or on sites like this. I will put up links to some AA material that when you have time you might have a look at, never forget that the AA program offers a complete release from the temptation to drink, and has a side effect of making people happier and more at ease than they ever were.


Is A.A. For You – 12 Questions.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/is-aa-for ... can-answer

A Brief Guide To AA.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-42_abriefguidetoaa.pdf

Three Chapters From The Big Book-

1.The Doctors Opinion.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbo ... pinion.pdf

2.There Is A Solution.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt2.pdf

3.More About Alcoholism.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf

A.A. Meeting Finder.
A.A. Near You.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: My first post

Postby Roberth » Mon Jan 08, 2018 12:51 pm

Hello Crissymarie and Welcome to E-AA. My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. We don't make you do anything you don't feel you shouldn't do. Let rephrase that we shouldn't try and make you do anything you don't feel you shouldn't do. AA is a program of suggestions. If I were asked to speak and I just wanted to listen I would reply with a "no thank you I just would like to listen." Of course my friends would think something was wrong with me because they usually cant shut me up. LOL I do like to hear what new-comers have to say to remind me what I was like when I was new.
Robert
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!
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Re: My First Post

Postby Truelife » Sun Mar 25, 2018 1:52 am

Morning everyone,

my first time posting, just getting to grips with the forum, is there any one link that is better to post on or is it a case of looking around and seeing what goes on.

I have not had a drink for 84 days, my longest time sober in my 20 plus years of drinking. Feeling grateful but also struggling, so reaching out x
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Re: My first post

Postby Jojo2 » Sun Mar 25, 2018 2:30 am

Welcome to e-AA, Truelife and well done on 84 days.

Feel free to contribute to any of the threads and ask questions. We enjoy responding and it helps us too.

The Forums are available 24/7 and contain a wealth of resources.

We also have a temporary sponsor facility at e-AA if you have not yet secured a face to face sponsor.

http://www.e-aa.org/form_sponsors.php

A temporary sponsor is a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous who is willing to share their experience, strength, and hope with another alcoholic as a way of service to help insure their own sobriety.

Their main function is to help guide the new person towards the 12 Steps, and also, where appropriate, to help guide the new person to face to face meetings and a f2f sponsor in their local AA community.
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Re: My first post

Postby avaneesh912 » Sun Mar 25, 2018 5:53 am

Hello 84 days is awesome. We have been there. That fear, mixed emotions, guilt, remorse......ad infinitum. Unfortunately if we don't start addressing those, we will spirial back into powerlessness. Not sure if you had visited a local AA meeting. If not we usually advice folks who can to do so.

Meetings differ from one group to another. But mostly members dont force anyone to speak. You can introduce yourself and ask questions before and after the meeting.

Please feel free to post your questions here and at the f2f meetings, try to find a person you can relate to and ensure that they can help you work the 12 step of AA so you can pick them as your sponsor.

The book Alcoholics Anonymous is a good book but as a beginner I got lost reading it, I was like the deer in front of the headlight. But it has lot of truth, have someone walk you through the key concepts of the program. Read Bills Story. Its the best one to see the progression, the mental twist. see how he keeps going back out. and see what he did to get well.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: My first post

Postby PaigeB » Sun Mar 25, 2018 11:36 am

Check out the Daily Reflections posts here at e-aa
viewforum.php?f=52

Then come here every day to read and or read & comment. You never HAVE to speak at a meeting, especially if you are working with a sponsor... but it helps... it helps others. Helping yourself is a bonus. :wink:
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: My first post

Postby Brock » Sun Mar 25, 2018 12:20 pm

Welcome Truelife.

In answer to this question - “is there any one link that is better to post on or is it a case of looking around and seeing what goes on.” It took me a while to see it, and so for you and anyone else who may have missed it, when we look at the top before the posts start we see options like this -

View unanswered posts • View unread posts • View new posts • View active topics.

I used to be scrolling through all the forums to see which had new posts until I saw this, now my computer shortcut to e-aa is set on ‘View active topics,’ so when I log on I see all the action. When posting then we can go to ‘Board index’ at the very top, and scroll down to choose a forum which might suit what we want to post about. By far the most used is ‘Discussions,’ anyone surfing the web can read this, so for discussion on more personal subjects we normally put into ‘registered discussion,’ then only registered members can see these. But really we can post in any section, if as sometimes happens a moderator feels it would be better in another section, they have the ability to move it.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: My first post

Postby Tosh » Mon Mar 26, 2018 1:04 pm

Crissymarie wrote:Hi, I'm new here. I have been a bit scared to go to an AA meeting and found this site while searching for a meeting near my home. Do you have to get up and speak each time or is it okay to just listen?


You can just tip up, get a coffee, sit down and listen.

Occasionally there are 'round robbin' meetings where members take turns to share, but if someone doesn't want to, they just say 'Hello, my name is 'insert name', and I'm an alcoholic, and I'm gonna pass!"

There's no compulsion to do anything in A.A.; no pressure at all.

First meetings are scary for everyone, btw.

Welcome to the forum.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: My first post

Postby Blue Moon » Tue Mar 27, 2018 8:17 am

Crissymarie wrote:Hi, I'm new here. I have been a bit scared to go to an AA meeting and found this site while searching for a meeting near my home. Do you have to get up and speak each time or is it okay to just listen?

It's OK to just listen. In fact, it's generally better for newcomers to quietly listen if they can, and try to identify with what they hear instead of comparing.

At many "Closed" AA meetings, the only thing you might be expected to say is introduce yourself. Just be aware that everyone in the room is there for the same reason you are, which is why it's a "closed" meeting.
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Re: My first post

Postby jamesmatthews » Tue Apr 03, 2018 3:13 am

Hi

First time on e-aa

Stopped a few times over the years but after this easter holiday it has to be for good

Family suffering first night last night no drink in 2 years long night but this time I must succedd


Thanks

James
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Re: My first post

Postby Brock » Tue Apr 03, 2018 4:47 am

Welcome here James.

It seems quite a lot of us have a history of stopping a few times, we last a while then the obsession to drink kicks in, our literature says we have no defense against that obsession, will power will not work.

I don’t know if you have tried attending meetings in the past, but that is something you should do if they are available in your area. That and finding someone, (a sponsor), who will take you through the steps, this is the way we completely remove the obsession to drink, and a side effect of this is a peaceful and happier way of life.

I will put up some links to literature, when you have the time perhaps you will read some of it, and we are happy to have you here, any questions or comments we welcome, answering them is something we enjoy, and it helps us as well.

Is A.A. For You – 12 Questions.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/is-aa-for ... can-answer

A Brief Guide To AA.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-42_abriefguidetoaa.pdf

Three Chapters From The Big Book-

1.The Doctors Opinion.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbo ... pinion.pdf

2.There Is A Solution.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt2.pdf

3.More About Alcoholism.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf

A.A. Meeting Finder.
A.A. Near You.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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