New Person

[stuartrmc1988]

finally i have admitted it, that i have a serious drinking problem, going to force myself to a meeting tomorrow, but really nervous, and totally ashamed that @29 i have a drinking problem. any advise for people just starting on the AA path, and trying to stop drinking

[Brock]

Welcome here Stuart, reaching out for advise is a good first step, and we all have been where you are.

Being nervous about the meetings is natural, but I promise you that everyone who comes here and says that, finds there was nothing to be scared about. Just a group of good folks some coffee or tea and some chat about alcoholism, you don’t need to say anything if you don’t want to, nothing to sign come and go as you please. Meetings vary a bit one to the next, so if you live in an area with a fair amount to choose from, I suggest you try a few and not just base your verdict of AA on the first one.

Please keep in mind that the AA program offers a way to not just stop drinking, but to not even think about it, it sounds a bit silly but the better life I found with the program makes me glad I am an alcoholic. I will put up some links to a bit of reading material, if you have the time maybe you will have a look.


Is A.A. For You – 12 Questions.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/is-aa-for ... can-answer

A Brief Guide To AA.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-42_abriefguidetoaa.pdf

Three Chapters From The Big Book-

1.The Doctors Opinion.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbo ... pinion.pdf

2.There Is A Solution.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt2.pdf

3.More About Alcoholism.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf

A.A. Meeting Finder.
A.A. Near You.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources

[Spirit Flower]

Hi Stu, I was 26 when I got sober in AA. That was 32 years ago. I’m soooooo grateful for my sober adult life. You can have one too. It’s a great way of life. More exciting than you can imagine.

[Spirit Flower]

Advice? Completely give yourself to this simple program.

[positrac]

finally i have admitted it, that i have a serious drinking problem, going to force myself to a meeting tomorrow, but really nervous, and totally ashamed that @29 i have a drinking problem. any advise for people just starting on the AA path, and trying to stop drinking

Welcome and you think you are ashamed? I was 23 when I finally accepted I had issues with alcohol. Made my first of 3 appearances in AA starting at age 19. I knew I was a drunk at 15 and loved the idea of being able to drink like an adult.

I would suggest a three things and I use suggestions as you have nothing to lose and yet so much to gain.

1) Go to meetings because you know they will help you with sobriety

2) Work on not comparing out as to not fit in so you can justify drinking.

3) Simple program for difficult people-----> Trust that people in the rooms have a clue about staying sober and follow their lead.

[clouds]

Welcome Stu, glad to see you here. I am more than I can express so glad I got up the courage to go to AA. It has undoubtdly completly changed my life for the better. Best wishes!

[stuartrmc1988]

went to my first 2 meetings today, dont feel embarrassed, now i feel determined

[Brock]

Very good, thanks for letting us know. You might read in another thread, where some of us are advising about AA speaker tapes we can listen to on you tube, these can be very informative as well.

[clouds]

Great going Stu! Get aquainted with anyone you feel comfortable talking to, make phone calls to them whenever you get feeling down, irritable or like taking a drink. Glad you let us know your experience with first meetings!

[avaneesh912]

went to my first 2 meetings today, dont feel embarrassed, now i feel determined

Thats a very good experience. It happened to me too. I had that sense of belonging to a crowd who also struggled in the past and but not anymore. Hope you find someone you can associate with and is willing to walk you through the 12 steps of AA so you can experience all the promises the book talks about.

[Mike O]

Hi Stuart,

Welcome to the group.
Well done on the meetings.
Get to work on the 12 Steps asap - they are what keeps us sober, and they DO work.

[PaigeB]

went to my first 2 meetings today, dont feel embarrassed, now i feel determined

This is why I keep coming back.

[Roberth]

Hello Stuart and welcome to E-AA, My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. Advice well, keep both your ears and mind open….and when you speak don’t try to impress, just be honest. been doing this for a while and when I look back I have regrets but being sober isn't one of them.

[gaftech]

Welcome Stuart,

In the words of Positrac, I made my first of 3 appearances in AA at the age of 26 back in 1986. I was in the Navy at the time and got busted, so I was ordered to a month-long rehab and 3 months of AA. By then I had been drinking since about 1972, heavily and consistently by the time I graduated high school in 1976. Got so bad that I lost my low end job and couldn't get another one so I joined the Navy. I lived up to the image of a drunken sailor quite nicely, thank you. I completed my "sentence" and managed to stay sober for two years, albeit without the aid of AA. I thought they were a bunch of whiners.

Busted again in 1996, same scenario as the first time, and started drinking again in 1998. I managed to retire from the Navy in 2000, but my drinking did nothing but escalate until October of last year, when I finally reached the decision on my own that I had a serious problem that needed to be dealt with. So I checked myself into detox for a week and hit the meetings every chance I got. I've been sober for 82 days now and have never felt better in my life. It's amazing what one can achieve with a clear mind! I just wish I had not been so bullheaded the first chance I had when I was 26.

My advice:

1. Live in the present and not in the past or the future. What's done is done and what's going to happen in the future is anyone's guess so there's no point in worrying about that. Be mindful of what's going on around you. Enjoy life in the here and now.

2. Listen to the thoughts in your head and learn to recognize when your mind is trying to get you to drink again. The mind can play pretty deviously with your sobriety, so the more you learn which thoughts are dangerous and which are benign, the better you're able to fend off the drinking thoughts and maintain your sobriety.

3. Attend different types of meetings (open, closed, big book, 12 step, etc.) and meetings in different locations. This will expose you to a lot of different people and their stories and will help you in deciding which group you'd like to make your Home Group. Having a home group, for me at least, is kind of like having an extended family. It's a place that becomes familiar and comfortable and allows me to make friendships that will in all likelihood, last a lifetime. That doesn't mean you have to stop going to other meetings. By all means do so, I do.

4. Lastly, keep coming back. The people in those meetings and those here on this forum are ready, able, and willing to assist you in whatever way we can. You are not alone.

[D'oh]

Advice? Completely give yourself to this simple program.

Nice!

Open mind, No one will ask you to drink any Kool Aid. But it does work if you work it.

Glad you made it Stuart.