Finally realized I'm an alcoholic

New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.

Finally realized I'm an alcoholic

Postby EmQ » Tue Aug 29, 2017 7:16 pm

I've never been on a website like this before, but I just turned 21 and I've been drinking heavily for almost 2 years now. I'm looking for some kind of support system, so hopefully I'm in the right place. Look forward to hearing anyone interested in offering some advice :)
EmQ
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2017 6:44 pm

Re: Finally realized I'm an alcoholic

Postby Brock » Wed Aug 30, 2017 4:50 am

Hello EmQ, yes I think you are in the right place, my apologies for your post from last night not going up until this morning, only first posts are delayed sometimes, all others go straight up.

Of course you will have heard of AA before, and maybe seen in movies or TV some people sitting around and talking, to me it doesn’t give a true picture. What we try to do both online and more so in live meetings, is expose others to the 12 step program, it's a simple set of things we do which has been shown to completely remove the urge to drink, not turn us into saints or goody goody types, it shows how to live a normal life without drink. I realized so called normal people didn't drink like I did, and the great thing about this program I found is that it addressed the reasons I drank like I did, once those were handled I didn't want to drink anymore, and I found a better life by far.

I will put some links to parts of our main book, some general stuff and a meeting finder, see if you can read some of it and you will get a better idea. Also ask any questions here if you like, we really enjoy having new folks around.

Is A.A. For You – 12 Questions.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/is-aa-for ... can-answer

A Brief Guide To AA.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-42_abriefguidetoaa.pdf

Three Chapters From The Big Book-

1.The Doctors Opinion.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbo ... pinion.pdf

2.There Is A Solution.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt2.pdf

3.More About Alcoholism.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf

A.A. Meeting Finder.
A.A. Near You.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
User avatar
Brock
Forums Coordinator
 
Posts: 3175
Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:45 pm

Re: Finally realized I'm an alcoholic

Postby positrac » Wed Aug 30, 2017 7:31 am

EmQ wrote:I've never been on a website like this before, but I just turned 21 and I've been drinking heavily for almost 2 years now. I'm looking for some kind of support system, so hopefully I'm in the right place. Look forward to hearing anyone interested in offering some advice :)

You are in the right place and the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. At 21 this is very hard because of peer pressure and how to fit in with the rest of your friends who are largely into night life and partying.

I was 23 when I finally hit my bottom and it wasn't easy because of the peer pressure thing and the rest of the world at that time. I wasn't one to hang out at church and so my free time was into having fun and I had to learn how to go off by myself and look for new things to do that weren't drink related and also gave me some kind of pleasure in order not to want to go back to drinking.

I can't give you any advice except suggestions. Now many AA meeting have younger folks involved as when I came to AA it was older and middle aged people and I couldn't relate to being settled, married and losing it all to my drinking.

I would suggest getting to in person meetings as it adds a layer of accountability to you and your progress to recovery. People who see you daily will learn when you are in a good place and or in a funk and can help direct you and your quality of life will drastically improve.


Welcome and I hope you'll stick around and learn about living sober as it can be accomplished.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
Hopi Proverb
User avatar
positrac
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1137
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2014 4:03 am

Re: Finally realized I'm an alcoholic

Postby clouds » Wed Aug 30, 2017 8:34 am

Welcome EmQ :D glad you found us!
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
User avatar
clouds
Trusted Servant
 
Posts: 1064
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2015 11:45 am
Location: España

Re: Finally realized I'm an alcoholic

Postby JohnDaniels » Wed Aug 30, 2017 1:15 pm

EmQ wrote:I've never been on a website like this before, but I just turned 21 and I've been drinking heavily for almost 2 years now. I'm looking for some kind of support system, so hopefully I'm in the right place. Look forward to hearing anyone interested in offering some advice :)


Welcome EmQ

In AA we share our experience, strength and hope. We all have our own story of what it was like, what happened, and what it's like today. Most of us feel a closeness for one another due to our recovery and what we're trying to do today.
We have 12 Steps that are suggested as a way of living. Some folks say the 12 Steps are how it works and our 12 Traditions are why it works. Many of us in AA meet at a coffee shop or someplace after the AA meeting if we feel like it to relax and get to know one another better and have supportive one on one talks. You can always tell the AA table in a coffee shop, they're the ones doing all the laughing.
There are no dues or fees. AA is not a money making treatment plan.
I believe getting a good sponsor right off is best. A sponsor is someone who will guide you through the 12 Steps, someone you can call when you feel like drinking, and is a part of your solid foundation you build as you start in your sobriety. I believe joining an AA group as your "Home Group" is also part of your early solid foundation.
The man who 12 stepped me told me "AA is a simple program for complicated people" and he also told me not to take myself so serious, so in short order I started laughing and started swimming down river with the flow. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. I'm an old fart but I clown around like a kid. I love to laugh and share jokes with people. But when it comes to helping another alcoholic I devote every bit of my mind and my heart to folks like you who are reaching out and/or new in AA.

EmQ, I'd really like to hear more from you. Tell us how you feel and how things are going. I hope you feel a warm welcome here.

Welcome home
JohnDaniels
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 126
Joined: Fri Jun 02, 2017 3:44 pm

Re: Finally realized I'm an alcoholic

Postby EmQ » Wed Aug 30, 2017 2:38 pm

Wow! Thank you all so much for the amazingly supportive replies. Honestly, I'm pretty terrified to even be doing this - even more so for my in-person meeting later today. My main concern is that I'm not sure I'm ready at this point to fully embrace even step one. Is it inappropriate for me to go to a meeting when I'm not entirely sure if I'm going to be able to keep up?
EmQ
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2017 6:44 pm

Re: Finally realized I'm an alcoholic

Postby Brock » Wed Aug 30, 2017 3:16 pm

Have no fear EmQ, I know that's easy to say, and all of us were nervous wondering what the meeting might be like, and every one without fail says it was fine. Yes sometimes we might find a very welcoming person or two, and a bit of hand shaking, but generally there is nothing to keep up with. Some people don't choose to say a word at their first meeting, you can just give your name if you like, or just say you are checking to see what it's like, it really is a no pressure affair.

Try to listen if others speak about their experience with an open mind, I was in and out of AA always looking for an excuse, mainly hearing others stories and thinking I'm not that bad. They said you may not be that bad yet but it will happen, I didn't believe and ended up walking back through those doors years later, a walking skeleton who drank rum for breakfast, and lost so much. Keep that word “yet” in your mind, if you are an alcoholic it may save you a whole lot of crap many of us who didn't believe ended up in. Maybe you will let us know how it went, and of course any other questions are welcome.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
User avatar
Brock
Forums Coordinator
 
Posts: 3175
Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:45 pm

Re: Finally realized I'm an alcoholic

Postby EmQ » Wed Aug 30, 2017 8:48 pm

I've got some bad news. I went to my first AA meeting today and wasn't able to stay for more than about 15 minutes. It was just so crowded, and I was so overwhelmed, that I felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack. Has anyone else had an experience like this?
EmQ
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2017 6:44 pm

Re: Finally realized I'm an alcoholic

Postby positrac » Thu Aug 31, 2017 2:22 am

EmQ wrote:I've got some bad news. I went to my first AA meeting today and wasn't able to stay for more than about 15 minutes. It was just so crowded, and I was so overwhelmed, that I felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack. Has anyone else had an experience like this?

I don't like crowds and people in general. I have friends and my circle is small and safe for me. yes I use my game face when I have to and the rest of the time I stay away and just do what is necessary. Comfort zones are necessary and maybe look at locations and times for meetings. 5-7 PM can yield a lot of people, noon can as well. Maybe-----I said maybe going either early morning "old fart meetings" like me and or some place in-between?

Remember this and I say this because it is true. We went to many lengths to drink and thus that same enthusiasm should be put into our meeting efforts. You can do it and if it means going early and just freezing then do it because you need to break the ice and try.

As I said I am happiest alone and yet I have friends and I do like to interact as long as it is on my terms. (yes extremely selfish)
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
Hopi Proverb
User avatar
positrac
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1137
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2014 4:03 am

Re: Finally realized I'm an alcoholic

Postby Brock » Thu Aug 31, 2017 6:22 am

I am not a fan of crowds either, but I see some good in what happened it's not all bad. The fact is you went which is a good step, and also you saw it's something we can come or go from as we like. As positrac has said, there must be smaller meetings in your area, in encouraging you yesterday it never occurred to me that you might be faced with such a crowd, where I live twenty people would be a large meeting, and it's usually around ten to fifteen.

Each area has helplines or a phone number we can locate, and these are manned by AA members who usually know the area well, maybe you could use this to ask for information on groups which are smaller. Also when I was new just listening to AA tapes was very helpful, on you tube I just now typed in “AA step1,” the second on the list that came up was by Chris R, he is a person who set me on the right track, not everyone likes his style but you will see many to choose from. Then go on to step 2 and so on, best of all if you can get a copy of the 'Big Book,' and on you tube type in "Big Book Workshop,” you will see one form Joe and Charlie and also one from the same Chris R, follow along by reading the book, no rush do a little each day. I would probably get a whole lot of flack here if I said you can do this without meetings, so I won't, meetings make it easier and so do sponsors, and I believe we should use them when they are available. Some people live or work where there are no meetings, and get through fine, and there's no reason you can't make a start without them.

Give it a try, nothing to loose and lot's to gain, best of luck.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
User avatar
Brock
Forums Coordinator
 
Posts: 3175
Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:45 pm

Re: Finally realized I'm an alcoholic

Postby EmQ » Thu Aug 31, 2017 7:56 am

positrac wrote:
EmQ wrote:I've got some bad news. I went to my first AA meeting today and wasn't able to stay for more than about 15 minutes. It was just so crowded, and I was so overwhelmed, that I felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack. Has anyone else had an experience like this?

I don't like crowds and people in general. I have friends and my circle is small and safe for me. yes I use my game face when I have to and the rest of the time I stay away and just do what is necessary. Comfort zones are necessary and maybe look at locations and times for meetings. 5-7 PM can yield a lot of people, noon can as well. Maybe-----I said maybe going either early morning "old fart meetings" like me and or some place in-between?

Remember this and I say this because it is true. We went to many lengths to drink and thus that same enthusiasm should be put into our meeting efforts. You can do it and if it means going early and just freezing then do it because you need to break the ice and try.

As I said I am happiest alone and yet I have friends and I do like to interact as long as it is on my terms. (yes extremely selfish)


That's really good to know. The meeting I went to was absolutely packed at 7:30pm, so next time I'll definitely go in the morning instead.
EmQ
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2017 6:44 pm

Re: Finally realized I'm an alcoholic

Postby Roberth » Thu Aug 31, 2017 8:37 am

hello EmQ and welcome to E-AA. My name is Robert and I am a los Angeles area Alcoholic. Just staying for 15 minutes you may think is bad news but the fact that you went at all is what's important. About 1 in 10 alcoholics go that far. There is no time table on recovery in AA. next time you might be able to stay for 16 minutes, or you may find a smaller meeting. You can even come to meetings here. there is also the young peoples meetings in some areas. hope to see you see from time to time.
Robert
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!
User avatar
Roberth
Forums Long Timer
 
Posts: 630
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:53 pm
Location: In The High Desert of California

Re: Finally realized I'm an alcoholic

Postby Cristy99 » Thu Aug 31, 2017 1:48 pm

Welcome EMQ!!!

Glad to meet you!!
Take a deep breath!!
You are going to be ok.

Since you are not drinking, ALL of your feelings are going to be a lot sharper and intense than you are used to. Keep that in mind. I laugh at what I sometimes hear in meetings: "In AA you FEEL better. You feel pain better, fear better, anxiety better...etc." :lol:

We are here for you. Share as much as you want. Pour your heart out.

Someone in an earlier post referred to young people in AA... "YPAA" you can google it and find more info. You might be able to relate better to peeps your age, as the wise person said.

Remember, we are here for you!! We have all been exactly where you are.

There is also a thread on this site labeled Sponsors, or temporary sponsors, or something to that effect. You might want to check that out to find a fellow with whom to connect until you find a face-to-face sponsor.

Keep coming back!!
"Talk doesn't cook rice."
~ Chinese proverb
Cristy99
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 155
Joined: Sat Aug 05, 2017 7:36 am
Location: Texas

Re: Finally realized I'm an alcoholic

Postby EmQ » Thu Aug 31, 2017 1:52 pm

Thank you all so much for being so encouraging. I was really disheartened after not staying for my whole first meeting, but now I feel even more inspired :)
On a separate note, does anyone know about what the age range is for most YPAA groups?
EmQ
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2017 6:44 pm

Re: Finally realized I'm an alcoholic

Postby Cristy99 » Thu Aug 31, 2017 1:56 pm

Stand by...let me text a friend.
"Talk doesn't cook rice."
~ Chinese proverb
Cristy99
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 155
Joined: Sat Aug 05, 2017 7:36 am
Location: Texas

Next

Return to For the Newcomer

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests