Sooo, how exactly DOES someone stop?

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How did you stop

Tapering off
0
No votes
Cold turkey
10
100%
A rehabilitation program
0
No votes
Still haven't stopped completely
0
No votes
 
Total votes : 10

Sooo, how exactly DOES someone stop?

Postby Justme3 » Thu Aug 24, 2017 9:17 am

I have never attended a meeting or reached out for help in any way. So I am definitely a newcomer. I don't think I have a severe drinking problem, i typically drink about 2-6 tall beers a day, 6-8 on the bad days. If i am forced to go a day without drinking, i get by without it bothing me to much, although i have noticed a day after ibhavent been able to drink will typically be a day i drink to much.... But anyways, I feel my drinking has become a problem to some degree and I think it might be time to cut back before I end up in real trouble. And this is where I come to the question of exactly how DO you stop? Do I just resolve that I will simply not buy more and try to ration out what I currently have in order to make withdraw as minimum as possible? Because I have been trying that for a month now, but when I get down to the last couple beers is still somehow always justify in my head some reason to get just another 6pk or whatever... I know no one can tell me exactly what's the best plan of action for myself.... I guess I am more interested in hearing how others did it. Did you stop cold turkey or was it a gradual process of cutting back until you finally went more than a day without or what? Thanks
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Re: Sooo, how exactly DOES someone stop?

Postby Blue Moon » Thu Aug 24, 2017 9:31 am

I put "cold turkey" because I didn't go to any sort of medical facility or rehab program. But I didn't do it alone, I got involved with AA's recovery program.
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Re: Sooo, how exactly DOES someone stop?

Postby Brock » Thu Aug 24, 2017 9:50 am

Welcome here Justme3.

How one stops I suppose is the million dollar question, the program of alcoholics anonymous was designed to answer. Your query seems more geared towards finding out if you 'qualify' as an alcoholic yourself however.
I will put up some links, one of those is to the chapter 'There is a Solution' in our 'big book,' if you read from pages 20 to 23 you will find a description of the alcoholic. That and the other chapters describe our program of recovery as well.

We don't like to declare a person alcoholic, the decision should come from within.

With regards to the initial stopping, all methods shown may work, but for some cold turkey can be dangerous.

I expect others will give their experience and advise, best of luck.


Is A.A. For You – 12 Questions.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/is-aa-for ... can-answer

A Brief Guide To AA.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-42_abriefguidetoaa.pdf

Three Chapters From The Big Book-

1.The Doctors Opinion.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbo ... pinion.pdf

2.There Is A Solution.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt2.pdf

3.More About Alcoholism.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf

A.A. Meeting Finder.
A.A. Near You.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
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Re: Sooo, how exactly DOES someone stop?

Postby Justme3 » Thu Aug 24, 2017 12:47 pm

Thank you for the response so far. Would love to hear more personal experiences of how others stopped. Thanks
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Re: Sooo, how exactly DOES someone stop?

Postby PaigeB » Thu Aug 24, 2017 1:53 pm

I went to a lot of meetings... in the beginning, on some days, I went to 2. One at noon helped. I am not a morning person and that was the best way to start my day! Prayer & meditation first thing have supplanted that noon meeting, but I still go to 3 or 4 meetings a week. I have a big ego which has not been fully replaced by Grace ~ yet.

How did this daily 24/7/365 beer drinker quit? I set on a mission to find the soda I would like - diet soda - because I still like to have a drink with me. And I quit a minute at a time sometimes.... praying or reading until I could get to the next meeting. And I used online chat meetings a lot and then I found I could come to these forums 24/7/365!

I know a lot of people kick might around "quitting a day at a time" but it really worked for me in the beginning... before I started doing service work at my Home Group and working with a sponsor reading through the Big Book and working the Steps of this program. So I quit by the minute or the hour... just until 2pm... just until I pass that bar on the corner... just until the meeting at 8pm... Sometimes I did not think I could make it and I picked up the phone A LOT. Call another drunk and miracles happen for both people! Set up to meet someone at the meeting and you are more likely to make it - same goes for a "I will call you at 9pm" - you are more likely to call.

Most of all - Keep at it! Do the next right thing. Do not pick up a drink - instead do something AA.

http://aa-intergroup.org/ lists lots of meetings in lots of formats. E-aa has most of thoese formats: Email, Live Chat and Forums! http://www.e-aa.org/talk.php

We will be here!
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Re: Sooo, how exactly DOES someone stop?

Postby positrac » Fri Aug 25, 2017 2:33 am

I believe you know the answer to your situation and the real string pull is accepting it and or remain in denial that you wish you could drink normally and know you can't. I know I was in that situation and the hard part is putting the honest effort to stop. I found that I would compare out to the others and say: I am not like them because.....Excuses of why I wasn't ready to leave my comfort zone.

Two things can happen:
1) You are sick and tired of being sick and tired and you have faith and step out and get sober and learn you can deal with life on it's terms daily without any booze, drugs ect.
2) You get into some kind of health issue and can die! Come a point when your body can't repair the damage done from the alcohol.

What have you got to lose? Nothing and a whole lot to gain.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
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Re: Sooo, how exactly DOES someone stop?

Postby avaneesh912 » Fri Aug 25, 2017 4:24 am

The alcoholic has to realize this deep down within. He/She can't continue like this any longer. Once we hit that zone, we will be resurrected. Until then we will be fighting this war on our own. Thats the tragedy of this disease.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Sooo, how exactly DOES someone stop?

Postby Cristy99 » Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:40 am

Blue Moon wrote:I put "cold turkey" because I didn't go to any sort of medical facility or rehab program. But I didn't do it alone, I got involved with AA's recovery program.


I did the same. At the time I didn't realize the apparent danger in doing so, but I didn't have any serious health consequences...just severe DTs.

I hear echos of your story in my own.
more to come...
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Re: Sooo, how exactly DOES someone stop?

Postby Cristy99 » Fri Aug 25, 2017 9:12 am

Justme said:

"If i am forced to go a day without drinking, i get by without it bothing me to much, although i have noticed a day after ibhavent been able to drink will typically be a day i drink to much.... But anyways, I feel my drinking has become a problem to some degree and I think it might be time to cut back before I end up in real trouble."


Justme---

I went through exactly that and kept on going...and going...and going. For me it progressed to the point that I COULD NOT STOP EVEN THOUGH I WANTED TO. I am glad you have your wits about you enough to be observant of what is going on.

Only YOU can determine if you are an alcoholic. I was told to read the first 164 pages of the AA Big Book and see if I saw myself in the pages. I already knew I had a problem, but as SOON as I began reading the doctor's opinion my eyes were opened. It hit home in an instant and I cannot describe the relief that came over me knowing I wasn't just crazy, I wasn't the only one, and that there IS a solution!!!

I was bad, but I never hit rock bottom. I did not lose my car, my home, or my job, but I came dangerously close to losing the people I loved most in the world. I went to meeting after meeting, sat all the way down, and listened carefully!! I even took notes because my brain was very foggy. The program is healing my life!! But the biggest thing I want to get across is that I didn't have to hit rock bottom because I listened and believed the stories of my peers. In essence, they "RAISED THE BOTTOM FOR ME!!!"

If you discover that you ARE an alcoholic, my prayer is that you seek help and do the work (which is not that hard) so that you can avoid the dark abyss that most alcoholics have to hit before they can look up.

God speed my friend!!!
"Talk doesn't cook rice."
~ Chinese proverb
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Re: Sooo, how exactly DOES someone stop?

Postby JohnDaniels » Sat Aug 26, 2017 1:05 am

Justme3 wrote:I have never attended a meeting or reached out for help in any way. So I am definitely a newcomer. I don't think I have a severe drinking problem, i typically drink about 2-6 tall beers a day, 6-8 on the bad days. If i am forced to go a day without drinking, i get by without it bothing me to much, although i have noticed a day after ibhavent been able to drink will typically be a day i drink to much.... But anyways, I feel my drinking has become a problem to some degree and I think it might be time to cut back before I end up in real trouble. And this is where I come to the question of exactly how DO you stop? Do I just resolve that I will simply not buy more and try to ration out what I currently have in order to make withdraw as minimum as possible? Because I have been trying that for a month now, but when I get down to the last couple beers is still somehow always justify in my head some reason to get just another 6pk or whatever... I know no one can tell me exactly what's the best plan of action for myself.... I guess I am more interested in hearing how others did it. Did you stop cold turkey or was it a gradual process of cutting back until you finally went more than a day without or what? Thanks


Welcome "Justme3"

Your mentioned > "... But anyways, I feel my drinking has become a problem to some degree and I think it might be time to cut back before I end up in real trouble. It sounds to me like you are concerned about your drinking and want to take the responsible actions. You mentioned >" ... I guess I am more interested in hearing how others did it." So I won't tell you what to do. But I'll be here for you if you ever want to talk with someone either online or in private messages. Hey that's what we do.

Yes it was cold turkey so to speak for me. But since the night I stopped drinking I've thought it was some type of intervention by a power greater than myself, that being God that was there when I was ready. I've believed since then that God really loves children and drunks. I've just had too many experiences to think otherwise. Now this is only my own personal experience. I was a field superintendent on a pipeline job. My previous wife and I drank and drugged hard and I mean hard around the clock. My previous wife had just died from a drug overdose. It broke me in two. One night at work shortly after her death I couldn't take it any more. I laid my head down on my desk and burst into tears crying out hard "Why God??? WHY??? If you are really alive, help me! Please help me!!! If not then f off!!!" I had given up on God before that and thought it was all just some fake crap that man made up to make himself feel better. BUT the thing is, during that break-down on my desk a man came up and tapped me on the shoulder. He smiled and said "Hi. My names Jay! I'm your new crane operator! I usually work on the other side of the job site, but they transferred me over here at the start of the shift! I don't want to be over here because it interferers with my meetings!"
I said "What meetings?"
He said "My AA Meetings!"
I thought "Hmmm. What's that all about? Kind of odd." like that feeling you get when you think there's more to the story.
I got him signed on and assigned him a crane to operate. Then at lunch time when I usually drank a pint of whisky and a 6 pack of Pabst, Jay came to my office at lunch time to have lunch with me. All Jay could talk about was AA. I am a pretty intuitive man and right off I thought this must be an answer to my prayer. Jay had enough seniority to work day shift or any site he wanted on the job. But for some reason, he was transferred to me on 2nd shift. Jay worked for me for about 1 year on 2nd shift. Every night he fed me the AA program little by little during lunch break and a slow time. In short order I began to feel a close kinship like a brother to Jay. It was uncanny as heck. One night he came into work and gave me a brown paper bag with the First Edition Big Book with the red hard-cover inside the bag. He said "This is our Bible or our text for living." Shortly there after he gave me another brown bag with a 2nd edition Big Book and said "I think you might like Chapter 9. After you read that you'll think someone has been reading your mail." I read it "The Man Who Mastered Fear" it was like reading my own story! That was it for me, the awakening that brought me to AA. I stopped drinking cold turkey. It's been 38 years. Just a day at a time. That is how I stopped drinking my friend.

Hey buddy, if you need anything at all just ask anyone here. These folks here have a ton of wisdom and experience. We have a common bond and not just in drinking - our bond is in our recovery, being there for each other, and reaching out to folks just like you. I can be reached through the Private Message if you wish. Personally, I'd be honored to hear more from you. You new folks are the most important people to me in AA.
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Re: Sooo, how exactly DOES someone stop?

Postby Brock » Sat Aug 26, 2017 7:55 am

John's account of how he got the message of this great program is a powerful one, the power working in our lives which just like him I wondered about, since it felt kind of odd, like John said -
I thought "Hmmm. What's that all about? Kind of odd." like that feeling you get when you think there's more to the story.

Now I know much more about that power and depend on it. I have seen some write here “Is it odd or is it God,” after practicing the program and seeing results we know it's not odd anymore.

In a grocery line about thirty five years ago, with bottle of rum in hand and very impatient wanting to get out of there, needing the relief of that bottle badly. A fellow in the line handed me one of those plastic cards, it has the serenity prayer and AA information on it, I stuck it in my pocket didn't even thank him. Don't know why I didn't throw it away like I normally would, and it stayed in my car, changed cars a few times over the years, but for some reason always kept that card in each one. First AA meeting I walked into years later, first face I saw was the fellow who gave me the card, he smiled because he remembered me, and I eventually got to thank him for the card.
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Re: Sooo, how exactly DOES someone stop?

Postby Cristy99 » Sat Aug 26, 2017 3:53 pm

John, Brock....thank you both so much!!! I love seeing God in the program!! It's such a loving reminder of His constant presence!!!

:P
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Re: Sooo, how exactly DOES someone stop?

Postby JohnDaniels » Sun Aug 27, 2017 12:54 pm

Cristy99 wrote:John, Brock....thank you both so much!!! I love seeing God in the program!! It's such a loving reminder of His constant presence!!!

:P


Thank you Christy :)
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Re: Sooo, how exactly DOES someone stop?

Postby JohnDaniels » Sun Aug 27, 2017 12:58 pm

Justme3,

How's it going?
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Re: Sooo, how exactly DOES someone stop?

Postby Hanna » Tue Aug 29, 2017 11:12 am

avaneesh912 wrote:The alcoholic has to realize this deep down within. He/She can't continue like this any longer. Once we hit that zone, we will be resurrected. Until then we will be fighting this war on our own. Thats the tragedy of this disease.


That is exactly what happened to me. I woke up one Sunday morning and realized I could not keep going like this, drinking every day became a chore. I had to scrape up the money, find a ride to the liquor store (lost my car & my license from a DUI) and then hide from my family so I could drink. The pursuit of alcohol became worse than the anxiety and pain I was using the alcohol to numb. I was too tired to keep it up, I got on my knees that morning and begged God to help me. I had nowhere to go that Sunday, everyone in my family was home, so I got on my computer and typed in "help me stop drinking" and found this site. The responses I got gave me the courage to try to not drink just for that day. I stayed on this site the entire day, I read all the threads and the "Our Stories" section, (I now have my story posted there). This site and some miracle kept me sober that 1st day. I continued to come here every day for support and encouragement until I was well enough to leave the house and go to a f2f meeting, where I received my hope that maybe I too could stay sober. I did and continue to stay sober, one day at a time. I can't promise what will happen in the future, but as long as I stay in today, I can stay sober. 5 years and counting.
Sending out prayers~
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