Another newbie here

New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.

Another newbie here

Postby steephills » Sat Jul 15, 2017 5:34 pm

Hello everyone! My name is Elizabeth, and I'm an alcoholic. I normally just go by "E".

I'm 17 days sober. It doesn't seem like much of an accomplishment, but when I think back I hadn't been more than 2 days sober since 2012! I try actively going to meetings in my area- but I can't drive, so sometimes I skip a day or 2 if I can't get a ride. And that's why I'm here! I've also been reading a lot of pamphlets/ booklets, but I only own the Big Book.

Some more background information:
I'm 29. I go to an outpatient center 2 days a week (or whenever I can/ feel like it lol). I'm bulimic. I'm from the east coast (USA). And my drink of choice is/was vodka.

How this all started:
I'm new to recovery...like real-deal recovery. The point where you finally get it through your head that you can't drink like a normal person. When there's no such thing as just one or two drinks. When under your eyes turn yellow and you can't stop shaking all the time. When you wake up and remember all those horrible, embarrassing, hurtful, dangerous, life-changing things you did when you were drunk that now turn your stomach and fill you with shame and fear.
I put myself in detox a little over a month ago. I was obliterated by the end of the night as usual, called drunk and made my appointment to go in. No one wanted me to go. They thought I could just detox at home, but even in my state I knew better. As soon as I got to the hospital, I had a seizure. Good timing huh?
Detox lasted 5 days and then I was home...home again and drinking again. I thought just a pint would do it. Yeah right. Before no time I was back on the wagon- drinking first thing in the morning, drinking before and at work, and carrying my booze around in my bag at all times. I put myself into IOP and I drank even there. It was one day after outpatient, when I thought "hey, what if I surprise them in my next urine test with a ethanol level of 0? Can I do that? How would just 24 hours do?" And I actually got 24 hours. I was so excited- I wrote all about it in my journal and danced a jig! 24 hours led to 48, then before I knew it I was counting days, then a week, then two weeks.

Which brings me here...to today. And to this message board. I admit I'm a bit apprehensive- I've never done this sort of thing before online. I hope I stayed within introduction rules if there are any. And I really look forward to sharing and gaining support with you all! I kinda went on a long story here so I'm gonna wrap it up lol. Feel free to ask me any questions or share with me!

Thank you all for reading!
-E
User avatar
steephills
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Sat Jul 15, 2017 4:18 pm

Re: Another newbie here

Postby clouds » Sun Jul 16, 2017 7:05 am

Hi steephills,

Welcome! :)
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
User avatar
clouds
Trusted Servant
 
Posts: 1064
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2015 11:45 am
Location: España

Re: Another newbie here

Postby avaneesh912 » Sun Jul 16, 2017 7:34 am

Detox lasted 5 days and then I was home...home again and drinking again. I thought just a pint would do it.


Yep, Just a pint. Have you read the story Fred the Accountant? They wrote the story in 1939 to illustrate the peculiar mental twist we ALL go leading up to the first drink. Thats the main problem of the alcoholic. Without this realization, we will keep repeating this experiment over and over again.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
User avatar
avaneesh912
Trusted Servant
 
Posts: 4646
Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 12:22 pm
Location: Atlanta, GA

Re: Another newbie here

Postby steephills » Sun Jul 16, 2017 8:00 pm

avaneesh912 wrote:
Detox lasted 5 days and then I was home...home again and drinking again. I thought just a pint would do it.


Yep, Just a pint. Have you read the story Fred the Accountant? They wrote the story in 1939 to illustrate the peculiar mental twist we ALL go leading up to the first drink. Thats the main problem of the alcoholic. Without this realization, we will keep repeating this experiment over and over again.


I haven't read it but that sounds really helpful. So far I've read Bill's Story (which was great) and I keep going over that Doctor's Opinion part a lot.
User avatar
steephills
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Sat Jul 15, 2017 4:18 pm

Re: Another newbie here

Postby steephills » Sun Jul 16, 2017 8:00 pm

clouds wrote:Hi steephills,

Welcome! :)


Thank you! :)
User avatar
steephills
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Sat Jul 15, 2017 4:18 pm

Re: Another newbie here

Postby positrac » Mon Jul 17, 2017 2:03 am

Welcome, you are young and so you have the opportunity now to overcome the raw need to drink aspect of the daily drinker and the mental stuff is the hardest and the part that is the struggle. Seems like your desire and efforts will pay off and I know it is hard and yet this is part of changing our past. As I drank at any opportunity , as to did I attend meetings and working the steps and you can do much with your efforts. To Thy Own Self Be True; this is important as you are the head of your destiny.

Keep coming back.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
Hopi Proverb
User avatar
positrac
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1137
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2014 4:03 am

Re: Another newbie here

Postby steephills » Mon Jul 17, 2017 11:00 am

positrac wrote:Welcome, you are young and so you have the opportunity now to overcome the raw need to drink aspect of the daily drinker and the mental stuff is the hardest and the part that is the struggle. Seems like your desire and efforts will pay off and I know it is hard and yet this is part of changing our past. As I drank at any opportunity , as to did I attend meetings and working the steps and you can do much with your efforts. To Thy Own Self Be True; this is important as you are the head of your destiny.

Keep coming back.


Thank you so much! And I will! :)
User avatar
steephills
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Sat Jul 15, 2017 4:18 pm

Re: Another newbie here

Postby Roberth » Mon Jul 17, 2017 11:16 am

Hello E and welcome to E-AA. my name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. 17 days is a big deal or at least it was for me. you can read all of the AA literature from AA at AA.org. my advice would next time you are at a meeting get some of the other women's phone numbers, not just for a ride but to talk to as well. you can always check in here as well.
I will tell you want they told me when I was new "you never have to take another drink if you don't what to and even if you want to you wont have to if you are willing to do a few simple things." that has been true for me for over 25 years.
Robert
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!
User avatar
Roberth
Forums Long Timer
 
Posts: 630
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:53 pm
Location: In The High Desert of California

Re: Another newbie here

Postby Duke » Mon Jul 17, 2017 12:48 pm

Welcome E. I hope you find support and useful information here.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa
User avatar
Duke
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 3684
Joined: Sat Jun 25, 2011 3:35 pm
Location: Kansas, USA


Return to For the Newcomer

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot], Yahoo [Bot] and 6 guests