Hi, I'm Joe

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Hi, I'm Joe

Postby sideout » Wed Jul 05, 2017 10:18 am

My name is Joseph and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic.
See, Robert... you are not the only one in this huge metropolis. I am certain you thought you were :shock: :lol:

I have 32 days of sobriety. I went for a medical detox May 23rd - May 29th. I was drinking a LOT everyday. I did realize how much it was ruining my life and how awful I felt everyday, starting with first thing upon waking. How much I hated my life and how I was living it. I realized this had to change/stop or it would be a sure early departure from this earth. I tried cutting back "weaning" myself off but I was drinking so much that even with lesser amounts I would start feeling withdrawal symptoms so I would deal with them the easiest way... drink more. Hence, I chose to do the medical detox. Another reason for that is in case of having seizures with an abrupt stopping of alcohol. I could not cut back, I was too weak. Even with medical detox it is not a pleasant experience. The first day and a half - 2 days I pretty much stayed in bed and tried to sleep as much as possible. After that I spent most of my time in the day room and started enjoying the interaction with the other patients in there. We also had a couple daily group sessions with AA speakers coming in. I actually felt they over medicated me while there. Upon release they asked me if I wanted a prescription for something like Clonidine. I said no. I just dealt with the minor withdrawals from the meds they were giving me in detox. Those withdrawals were nothing compared to the withdrawals from alcohol.

I mentioned in reply to a post someone asking about their addiction and work. I responded with my experience with work. They were very understanding and supportive.
I initially had 3 weeks Short Term Disability from my company. I did not feel ready to go back to work (what drove me to even more excessive drinking than my already alcoholic self).
I was able to get another 3 weeks approved. The 6 weeks time to focus on my initial recovery steps have been very beneficial. I start work again July 10th. I work from home.
I kind of hate my job, having to learn new things. So in my post in reply to the person asking about his addiction and in relation to work I stated upon my return to work I would do the best I can, all I can do.
During these past 6 weeks I have been attending an IOP - Intensive Outpatient Program. 3 days a week, 3 hours per session. It's a group thing with about 5 -7 people in the group, depending
on who shows up for a given session. I enjoy it, gotten to look forward to it and have not missed a session. I like Wednesday night as the second half of the session is meditation.

In reading the posts here so much revolves around spiritual growth. I do not have a problem with that. Well, not a problem in better growing spiritually. I do have a lot of work to do in that regard though,
growing more spiritually. I believe in God. About 10 years ago for about 4 years went to a non-denominational church every Sunday. But had an experience that turned me off to organized religion.
I suppose I would like to become more spiritual as opposed to religious. Anyway, it dawned on me this morning that I should pray and meditate some in regards to returning to work,
do I really want to be there (I am in decent shape, I think, to retire, I am 59.5) and seek to hear guidance from my Higher Power in that regard, work situation

Also this morning I wondered if I feel to complacent or euphoric. I mean... I am feeling pretty good these days. I had read the first 3 steps in the book "12 Steps and 12 Traditions" and felt I was "OK"
with the first 3 steps and starting to think about starting step 4. I think I am going to go back and better digest steps 1 -3 and make sure I have a good handle on it. I also have read the first 4 chapters
of the BB. Very good and inspirational reading. Almost hard to put down.

So I don't really have any questions at this time. Unless anyone has any comments on my backing up and perhaps better digesting the first 3 steps, or any other comments.
Otherwise just felt to share some.

Oh, I am attending one AA meeting every Saturday. I think I have found another AA location that I will like. Many meeting throughout the day every day.
I do believe I could use more than just the one Saturday meeting.

As I stated in my post before, I am glad I found this site. I am finding a good resource; the forums, guidance in posts/replies and other resources available here.

Joe
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Re: Hi, I'm Joe

Postby Chelle » Wed Jul 05, 2017 10:26 am

Welcome Joe. Glad you are here!
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Re: Hi, I'm Joe

Postby Duke » Wed Jul 05, 2017 11:13 am

Thanks for sharing Joe. Welcome to the forum.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa
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Re: Hi, I'm Joe

Postby Roberth » Thu Jul 06, 2017 6:09 am

Hello Joe and welcome to E-AA. I sent you a PM with my contact info, please feel free to contact me.
Robert
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Re: Hi, I'm Joe

Postby positrac » Thu Jul 06, 2017 7:25 am

:arrow:
Last edited by positrac on Fri Jul 07, 2017 2:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Hi, I'm Joe

Postby sideout » Thu Jul 06, 2017 8:17 am

Thanks for the welcomes, encouragement and some words of wisdom,

LA has it pluses but I am tired of the crowds and the hustle bustle. Actually seriously thinking of moving to Montana to live with my bro.
Eureka Montana, population all of about 4 - 5,000. Hour drive if you want to go to Best Buy, Home Deport, Costco and the such. Otherwise, town is about 20 min. drive.
He built his house on 20 acres. So peaceful. Visited last August and this past March.
Met the gal that cuts his hair. She is a recovering alcoholic and attends AA regularly and seems to be well grounded in her sobriety and spirituality.
Used to live in Orange County and escaped to Montana.

And yes, the one year rule in regards to making major decisions. Though the gal in Montana did spark some interest.
Thinking to ask my bro to ask her if I can have her number. Met her on the August trip and heard she was disappointed did not get to see me on the March trip.
Otherwise I am currently single/divorced. My ex decided to divorce me shortly after getting out of a 30 day rehab :roll:

Anyway.. I hit A-Angry yesterday. Since I am on my company disability they require a letter before I return to work this coming Monday the 10th stating I am healthy to return to work and if any restrictions (lifting or the such physical restrictions), of which there are none. So I asked my counselor in private at the outpatient treatment if he would write me one. Simple, two sentences. He says this would be something your MD would do. I say, my MD has not been treating me, you have. So he finally said he would do it. We shall see Friday my next group session if he has my letter for me. In the past he said he would do something only to come back after two weeks and say your MD should do this. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

They are more than happy to take my insurance money for the sessions, which I really do not feel are worth it for what they offer and what they charge.
But I felt it was a good start after detox until I got more comfortable with AA. My last detox 6 years ago I did no aftercare work and lasted 4 months and then fell back into drink. So this time I know I need to work it after getting out of detox May 29th.

Ask something a little extra (the letter) from the IOP and they resist. My insurance will pay till the end of July but I think I am done with this place.

Anyway, no worries. In the past I would have probably had a drink or two, or three. or...
But I know I can not go there. Just not an option. So I am taking it in stride. Just annoying.

Thanks for listening...

Joe
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Re: Hi, I'm Joe

Postby PaigeB » Thu Jul 06, 2017 9:02 am

Page 36 in the Big Book talks about being a little "irritated"... it is one of the symptoms of alcoholism. For the guy in the book it led to alcohol blindsiding him in a little roadside cafe.

Glad you are here with us!
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Re: Hi, I'm Joe

Postby sideout » Thu Jul 06, 2017 10:01 am

Jim and the milk.

BTW, I like your sig
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Re: Hi, I'm Joe

Postby positrac » Fri Jul 07, 2017 2:19 am

:arrow:
Last edited by positrac on Fri Jul 07, 2017 2:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Hi, I'm Joe

Postby sideout » Fri Jul 07, 2017 7:43 am

I am not looking to run off just to change people, places things or escape problems. I am not looking to "runaway" from anything.
I have been thinking about it since last August. For a few reasons;
- My bro's property and house are paid off. Live rent free.
- He is 14 years older than me, 74. Where in pretty good shape I think he could use/would like someone around. He currently lives alone, somewhat isolated.
He keeps telling me he would love to have me up there.
- I have always liked the outdoors and nature and the peacefulness it offers and as I said am sick and tired of LA.
- I no longer take advantage of many of the things LA has to offer.
- If I am still working, since I work from home I could work from up there. I did so when I visited in March.

Town drunk - I don't care much what other people think.

The move would be a big change from LA. It would be In lines with making a major decision in the first year of sobriety.
But I see more positives than negatives.

But... Thanks for the advice,

Joe
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Re: Hi, I'm Joe

Postby sideout » Fri Jul 07, 2017 7:58 am

"sideout"Town drunk - I don't care much what other people think.


Let me clarify that...
I will listen to advice. Also, if someone points out something in me that brings something to light something in me that I could change for the better, I would welcome that.
But if someone thinks I am a drunk, or whatever and I know better, I don't care what they think.

Joe
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Re: Hi, I'm Joe

Postby Brock » Fri Jul 07, 2017 10:11 am

I got sober at age 60 as well, which was nearly eight years ago, but I had been in and out of AA a few times before that. My belief is that age and experience are very good teachers, and some of the suggestions that a younger person should really follow, may not apply as much in this case.

Those include things like relationships, older folks don't get all giddy headed in love, which causes broken hearts and probably drinking if things go badly, we tend to take it or leave it in a mature way. And while positrac had some valid concerns, regarding we alcoholics do seek the geographical cure, I feel you are being honest to us and yourself, when you say you are not 'running away.'

Those who know me here, also know I don't believe endless meetings are necessary, I often write about the people in isolated areas, or small countries with few meeting opportunities. The program works fine for them once they have seriously made up their minds, and most importantly do those steps. Living in an area and having a job which we don't like, I suspect may place more strain on the chances of success, than not having many meetings and fellow AA members would. If it was me I would make the move, and I wish you all the best if you decide to.
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Re: Hi, I'm Joe

Postby Spirit Flower » Fri Jul 07, 2017 11:02 am

Hi Joe, thanks for the clarification. Now I know you are not some young guy chasing a girl. Since you are a 60 YO, I think living in the country away from LA is a great idea.
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Re: Hi, I'm Joe

Postby positrac » Fri Jul 07, 2017 2:42 pm

sideout wrote:[quote="sideout"Town drunk - I don't care much what other people think.


Let me clarify that...
I will listen to advice. Also, if someone points out something in me that brings something to light something in me that I could change for the better, I would welcome that.
But if someone thinks I am a drunk, or whatever and I know better, I don't care what they think.

Joe[/quote]
I wish you all the best and disregard my post.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
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Re: Hi, I'm Joe

Postby sideout » Sat Jul 08, 2017 12:50 pm

I wont disregard your post, positrac. I appreciate the time you took to reply.
However, in my case in regard to the things you stated I just do not totally agree.
I can see that perhaps for some they would apply.

SpiritFlower, nope, not chasing a girl LOL
But she does seem nice, in common being from SoCal not to mention... recovering alcoholics.

I related to much of what you said, Brock.
I am still trying to sus out how much meetings will play into my recovery.
But most important is working the steps. I do not know if the meetings the one gal attends are in Eureka or perhaps in Whitefish (50 miles) or Kalispel (65 miles).

Joe
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