Here I am

New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.

Here I am

Postby phast » Tue Jun 13, 2017 9:17 am

Hi Guys,

I've been a newcomer, and I will still use that term, for around three months to AA after finally having my wife find out my secret drinking after work had been going on for two years. I have been a problem drinker for for probably five years before it escalated to the point where I was fully out of control. I am ready to rid myself of this forever.

I've started to take the steps seriously after a relapse of the weekend, a heavy one. Ive been off for weeks and then a day or two of hell through the last three months. I hope that sharing with you all and integrating some of the community support (sharing and receiving) will further ingrain my focus on the program.

Thank you all and good to be here.
Phil
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Re: Here I am

Postby Mike O » Tue Jun 13, 2017 10:26 am

Hi Phil,
Welcome to the group. You'll find plenty of good advice here.

Mike :D
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Re: Here I am

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Jun 13, 2017 10:40 am

I was fully out of control.


We are all sure about losing control AFTER we take a drink or two. What most alcoholics dont realize is, that if we don't change the way of thinking, we cannot stay away from alcohol. If we realize that, then we could launch of a vigorous course of action (the remainder of the 12 steps).
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Here I am

Postby Brock » Tue Jun 13, 2017 10:50 am

Welcome here Phil. Those words “I've started to take the steps seriously,” that is the answer in a nutshell. I find they look harder to do on paper than they are in practice, and the release from urges is complete and absolute. And they lead to added benefits over and above sobriety, a cool and usually serene way to live, and still be able to enjoy all the things we did previously.

That relapse at the weekend is quite normal, and in some ways useful. It helps us when these things happen, by driving home the fact that will power is of no use when it comes to drinking, so the steps expose us to a new source of power.

As Mike said we have some good folks here, usually just sharing their experience, although sometimes heated discussions start, and all questions that new members have are welcomed, best of luck, with those steps you can't go wrong.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Here I am

Postby Roberth » Tue Jun 13, 2017 11:44 am

Welcome back Phil. Forget about forever, we do this thing one day at a time...... they taught me I need to take care of today
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Re: Here I am

Postby ezdzit247 » Tue Jun 13, 2017 11:59 am

Hi Phil and welcome to the forums.

I also struggled with trying to "stay quit" after I quit drinking and joined AA. In the rooms, I could see that other alcoholics were staying sober and were obviously happy without drinking, but I just couldn't "get it", couldn't hear what others seem to be hearing. I finally discovered AA's 24 hour plan about two years after my first AA meeting and following that plan worked real well for me. There's a description of how the plan works in an AA pamphlet # 1 entitled: "This is A.A.... an introduction to the A.A. recovery program". You can read it online by clicking on this link:

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-1_thisisaa1.pdf.

Here's an excerpt from the pamphlet on AA's 24-hour plan also known as the One Day At A Time plan or ODAAT.

"....For example, we take no pledges, we don’t say that we will “never” drink again. Instead, we try to follow what we in A.A. call the “24-hour plan.” We concentrate on keeping sober just the current twenty-four hours. We simply try to get through one day at a time without a drink. If we feel the urge for a drink, we neither yield nor resist. We merely put off taking that particular drink until tomorrow…."


In addition to using AA's 24 hour plan, I also followed the advice of AA old timers who suggested attending at least one AA meeting a day in the first 90 days of recovery. It's called the "90 in 90" plan. At the time, I didn't know why this particular action was recommended for newcomers or how or why it worked so well for chronic relapsers like myself. I only knew that I wanted what those oldtimers had and that I was willing to do what they had done to get it. It worked! One day at a time, one meeting at a time, I stayed sober and began to feel better physically, much stronger emotionally and very much clearer mentally. Because that happened for me, I was finally able to begin to glimpse and grasp how this AA thing works. Every time I went to a meeting, I learned from other members sharing their own experience, strength, and hope that the AA program had a spiritual "toolkit" and listening to their shares taught me how to apply those tools in my own life. When I collected my 90 day sobriety chip, it was the longest continuous period of time without a drink that I had experienced in 8 years. That's what worked for me.

Looking forward to hearing more from you, Phil.

Keep coming back..... =smile[/quote]
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: Here I am

Postby phast » Tue Jun 13, 2017 12:11 pm

Thanks for your words all. I truly appreciate the support. I look forward to looking around and getting more acquainted.

I am looking forward to getting rid of some more minor withdrawl symptoms, this is really the first time I have ever had any. I had no appetite the day after, and was very hot and sick to my stomach. My appetite has returned but it almost feels a little bit like i have minor vertigo. slightly elevated pulse and just sweat and get hot so easy. I should mention I am 34 but in pretty good health and this is day 3 today. A little better each day but swings up and down daily. Hopefully gone soon and forever!
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Re: Here I am

Postby phast » Tue Jun 13, 2017 12:14 pm

ezdzit247 wrote:Hi Phil and welcome to the forums.

I also struggled with trying to "stay quit" after I quit drinking and joined AA. In the rooms, I could see that other alcoholics were staying sober and were obviously happy without drinking, but I just couldn't "get it", couldn't hear what others seem to be hearing. I finally discovered AA's 24 hour plan about two years after my first AA meeting and following that plan worked real well for me. There's a description of how the plan works in an AA pamphlet # 1 entitled: "This is A.A.... an introduction to the A.A. recovery program". You can read it online by clicking on this link:

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-1_thisisaa1.pdf.

Here's an excerpt from the pamphlet on AA's 24-hour plan also known as the One Day At A Time plan or ODAAT.

"....For example, we take no pledges, we don’t say that we will “never” drink again. Instead, we try to follow what we in A.A. call the “24-hour plan.” We concentrate on keeping sober just the current twenty-four hours. We simply try to get through one day at a time without a drink. If we feel the urge for a drink, we neither yield nor resist. We merely put off taking that particular drink until tomorrow…."


In addition to using AA's 24 hour plan, I also followed the advice of AA old timers who suggested attending at least one AA meeting a day in the first 90 days of recovery. It's called the "90 in 90" plan. At the time, I didn't know why this particular action was recommended for newcomers or how or why it worked so well for chronic relapsers like myself. I only knew that I wanted what those oldtimers had and that I was willing to do what they had done to get it. It worked! One day at a time, one meeting at a time, I stayed sober and began to feel better physically, much stronger emotionally and very much clearer mentally. Because that happened for me, I was finally able to begin to glimpse and grasp how this AA thing works. Every time I went to a meeting, I learned from other members sharing their own experience, strength, and hope that the AA program had a spiritual "toolkit" and listening to their shares taught me how to apply those tools in my own life. When I collected my 90 day sobriety chip, it was the longest continuous period of time without a drink that I had experienced in 8 years. That's what worked for me.

Looking forward to hearing more from you, Phil.

Keep coming back..... =smile
[/quote]


This is great advice, and I think I really needed to hear this.

I am going to talk to my wife about the 90/90 plan tonight. Having three young kids makes taht a little harder, but I wonder if I can find some meetings in the morning. I will have to check out the area site a bit further.

Again thank you for taking time to talk to me and share your thoughts.
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Re: Here I am

Postby positrac » Wed Jun 14, 2017 2:10 am

Welcome back and remember it is one day at a time. Sometimes it is just about passing minutes and thinking of other stuff to mask the thoughts of the drink. I hope you'll go to meetings in person and use that time to allow for growth in your life and in time if this continues it'll be a lot less of a soring problem in your life and more about managing yourself and keeping boundaries.

More will be revealed if you keep coming back.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
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Re: Here I am

Postby clouds » Wed Jun 14, 2017 6:57 am

Hi Phil, Welcome!

My first few contacts in AA told me to eat sweets, ice cream, bisquits and tea, those seem to go down pretty well.

I know I wasn't interested in things like eggs or steak for quite a while.

It gets better pretty fast, after a few weeks you should be feeling ok eating wise.

In the meantime, try to get some meetings then a few people you can phone, that helped me immensly and they were really able to help me settle down and begin the new life of sobriety AA offers.

Glad you found E-aa! :D
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: Here I am

Postby ezdzit247 » Wed Jun 14, 2017 1:30 pm

This is great advice, and I think I really needed to hear this.

I am going to talk to my wife about the 90/90 plan tonight. Having three young kids makes taht a little harder, but I wonder if I can find some meetings in the morning. I will have to check out the area site a bit further.

Again thank you for taking time to talk to me and share your thoughts.


Congratulations on 3 days without a drink!

If you live in or around a larger urban area, there is usually a variety of AA meetings to choose from at different times of the day in the local directories. Early morning meetings, noon meetings, and late afternoon meetings are popular with members who want to take in a meeting before work, during their lunch breaks, or right after work. Those meeting times might work well for you.

Thanks for sharing and letting us be a part of your sobriety journey. For most of us, joining the AA fellowship and taking that first Step to trudge "the Road of Happy Destiny" was the beginning of the greatest adventure of our lives. I hope it becomes that for you too.

Keep coming back..... :D
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Re: Here I am

Postby phast » Sat Jun 17, 2017 9:36 pm

Hey All,

I am happy to report that I'm feeling good physically after a long week. I've worked step 3 and four hard this week. It's been very satisfying.


I also had a great meeting tonight. The mantra of "I'm not having a drink today" really has made a difference when I've had cues and cravings. Th and all!
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Re: Here I am

Postby avaneesh912 » Sun Jun 18, 2017 4:05 am

The mantra of "I'm not having a drink today" really has made a difference when I've had cues and cravings.


Great Job and jumping into 3 and 4. The book does say that for permanent solution, we have to look at the causes and conditions. Inventory! Let me share with you the 10step promises:


And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.


Yep, the obsession to drink, gets lifted completely as long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. I love these promises that it propelled me to doing the rest of the steps and experience this.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Here I am

Postby PaigeB » Sun Jun 18, 2017 11:21 am

When problems come along - and they likely will - we do not wallow in the problems ~ we live in the solution.

Continue reading after the 10th Step Promises on page 85... "it is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action..." all the way over to the top of page 87. Where I like to end it says, "We find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We have come to rely on it." Spirituality is grown and maintained.

Within that reading it tells us what to do "When we retire at night" AND "On wakening" as well as what to do as we go through the day. My favorite part is, "We are careful not to drift into morbid reflection (or future fantasy) as that would diminish our usefulness to others."

This is a practical program of action that works in rough going. It works if you work it. Work it to give it all away! And things may STILL go wrong. But remember this 1st week sober and you will remember to work it while Knowing that Peace will come as it already has for you.

They told me, "No matter what Step you are on, you can apply that Step to the issues in front of you."
It has been true for me! Keep up the Good Work!
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Here I am

Postby phast » Sun Jun 18, 2017 7:57 pm

Thank you guys.

This will be personal inventory week. I have started to think about it. It is daunting but I am ready to give it my all.

Thank you all for reading.

Best Regards,

Phil
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