lost hope

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lost hope

Postby AvaJane » Thu Jun 01, 2017 12:56 am

i've been able to remain sober on my own for the past month. but i just lost my father and my boyfriend was put in jail today on a second DUI. in the past i've been able to find some sort of hope but i am trying with all of my might and my optimism is just gone. i've been combing through the house, my usual routine, finding and pouring out my boyfriends stash. but right now, at this minute i want to drink and keep drinking until i drown in it.
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Re: lost hope

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu Jun 01, 2017 4:01 am

I am not sure what I say is to go change your mind. Drinking is not going to solve your current situation. But having said that, I know this disease is cunning, powerful and baffling. I would say make it to a meeting quickly find some competent sponsor who could help you work the 12 steps and have a spiritual awakening.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: lost hope

Postby clouds » Thu Jun 01, 2017 4:40 am

There is a solution to the drinkproblem in A.A. It really does work, through any and all conditions. You will need to go to A.A. and pick up the book called "ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS' to read how to do the 12 steps.

Sorry to hear of your dad's death. You can get strength to get through this time. I think getting to an A.A. meeting and explaining to them what you are going through will also give you some help.

I was surprised at how nice and understanding the people at A.A. were and after I got to a few meetings things started to fall into place in my life in a brand new way. Its for you too.
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: lost hope

Postby Roberth » Thu Jun 01, 2017 8:47 am

Hello avajane and welcome to E-AA. My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. thank you for your post it reminds me where I came from. I have been where you are at and it seem hopeless but I found the relief I needed in AA. I could not make it very long on my own and what AA showed me was a new way to deal with life and friends that would help me get through anything.
Robert
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!
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Re: lost hope

Postby PaigeB » Thu Jun 01, 2017 11:19 am

Hi Avajane. Glad you found us. I think that you will find much hope and help in people of AA. I did.

I got sober in Aug and on Christmas eve we had a family disaster. Being a holiday all the women on my call list seemed to be away from their phones or on the road. Frantic, I left messages. But I got a hold of one gal and she started making calls and they seemed to have made calls too. One lady called me back immediately - she happened to be at the store just a few blocks from my house. Her car pulled up just a few minutes later and I went out to the porch to meet her... She was a little slow - then I realized she was on CRUTCHES! We live in Iowa and the road and driveway were icy... I hurried out to meet her and walk up with her. She told me her family was in town and they were happy to wait while she came over for a bit... Did I mention I was so freaked out about thinking I would drink if I left the house that before making the calls I screamed my family off to the movies without me? argh... anyway - today I could not tell you what Sue & I talked about, but I don't think it was alcoholism. And it wasn't really about what was going wrong either. We talked about families in general and about how to deal with life on life's terms. Soon I was calmed down and ready to face the holiday again and sent her back to her family. I went ahead and got started on the solution - since there was not a thing I could do about the "disaster" I went ahead with the Next Right Thing and started dinner. My phone rang off the hook all night and all the next day - Christmas Day - with women concerned about me & wanting to help.

So PLEASE know that you do not have to do this alone. Death changes everything and there isn't a dang thing we can do about it except maybe the next Right thing. Usually that means being of service to others, even if it is just cooking dinner ~ which I would NOT have thought helpful except that another woman (and lots more later on) shared her experience, strength and Hope with me.

You can find your people by following the links through here http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources

PS ~ I would be happy to share the details of my disaster if you want to click on my name and send me a private message. We could even talk on the phone if you like. If you are near Iowa we can meet up too! :wink:
THERE IS HOPE for us hopeless people.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: lost hope

Postby tomsteve » Thu Jun 01, 2017 4:55 pm

glad youre here,ava.im truly sorry and condolences on your dad. when my dad died i drank for 3 straight years. it didnt help anything. what it did do was prolong the greiving process.
i can relate to trying to drown "it." i did that for many,many things for many,many years.
if it actually worked, it wouldnt have kept resurfacing and i would have to try and drown it again.
a month is amazing and you sure have a couple things happening for you.
something i wasnt promised was that nothing mentally and emotionally trying wasnt going to occur after i got sober.
something i was promised i would be able to get through those emotionally and mentally trying times so long as i didnt drink.

please keep posting! are you in AA? if so please use the phone and call people and go to meetings. do you have friends and/or family around?
your BF will be ok. ya know, ya say you " have been combing through the house, my usual routine, finding and pouring out my boyfriends stash."
i dont think i would have stood a snowballs chance in hell of remaining sober if i was in a relationship with someone still drinking.
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Re: lost hope

Postby positrac » Fri Jun 02, 2017 3:04 am

AvaJane wrote:i've been able to remain sober on my own for the past month. but i just lost my father and my boyfriend was put in jail today on a second DUI. in the past i've been able to find some sort of hope but i am trying with all of my might and my optimism is just gone. i've been combing through the house, my usual routine, finding and pouring out my boyfriends stash. but right now, at this minute i want to drink and keep drinking until i drown in it.


Your post is very real and it is hard to find hope, strength, motivation to move away from what was once a comfort and security. I believe we all have sober suggestions for you and because this is online it is hard to know if you will follow through and or make those necessary steps to go to a meeting and open up that you need some help.

A few points is that we can't change the following: People, Places and or Things and this means running away only gives temporary relief as our problems catch us down the road. Now the flips side is we can move around these points and if we remove past issues through our sobriety and honesty then we can find long term success. Right now this is over your head and you might read it and digest it; but time is our key for change.

Lastly living by this point will keep you sober and it can assist in less insanity if you allow and turn over things that are distractions in your life that press the get drunk button.

H: Hungry
A: Angry
L: Lonely
T: Tired
HALT---if you can prevent these events from occurring you will feel better. About your loss of your father if your relationship was good I believe he'd rather you stay sober, happy and productive than to drink and feel sorrowful as his legacy is all you have and it should bring some happiness. But whatever the situation if you don't drink then you are stronger and you win and this is self preservation.
I hope you'll make some swift moves to AA and follow how it works.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
Hopi Proverb
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