New and in a bad place

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New and in a bad place

Postby Rcws » Fri May 05, 2017 8:48 am

I have tried to quit drinking on my own for about 5 years. I go months, even a year, without alcohol and always come back. Each time I start drinking again I put myself in more risky situations and feel more depressed. Last night was such a night and this is about as dark as I have felt.
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Re: New and in a bad place

Postby mini33 » Fri May 05, 2017 10:05 am

Do u go to meetings?
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Re: New and in a bad place

Postby Rcws » Fri May 05, 2017 10:07 am

Have not been yet
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Re: New and in a bad place

Postby Reborn » Fri May 05, 2017 10:13 am

Welcome...I know the feeling and its awful. Here is a part of Bill's story...Bill is one of the founders of AA.
Page 8...

Trembling, I stepped from the hospital a broken man. Fear sobered me for a bit. Then came the insidious insanity of that first drink, and on Armistice Day 1934, I was off again. Everyone became resigned to the certainty that I would have to be shut up somewhere, or would stumble along to a miserable end. How dark it is before the dawn! In reality that was the beginning of my last debauch. I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes.

This has been my experience as well. It seems to me that you know you have a its time to take some action. I would suggest that you get to a meeting ASAP...find a sponsor and start working the 12 steps. There is peace and serenity in those steps my friend...God bless.
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132
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Re: New and in a bad place

Postby Brock » Fri May 05, 2017 10:29 am

Welcome here Rcws. It may not seem to make sense now, but that trying to quit over and over, and the fact that your will power can not keep you stopped, is very good for an alcoholic to know. In my book it means you are pretty well into steps 1 & 2, now you have to look for a power which will work in step 3. I will put up a series of links I believe useful to the new person -

Is A.A. For You – 12 Questions. ... can-answer

A Brief Guide To AA.

Three Chapters From The Big Book-

1.The Doctors Opinion. ... pinion.pdf

2.There Is A Solution.

3.More About Alcoholism.

A.A. Meeting Finder.
A.A. Near You.

This program takes away the urge to drink completely, and we can live a very good life, doing anything we used to do and enjoying it without booze, ask any questions you may have we enjoy answering.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: New and in a bad place

Postby Rcws » Fri May 05, 2017 10:37 am

Thanks all. I am going to find a meeting today. I just feel like I am failing and want my family to be proud of me.
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Re: New and in a bad place

Postby PaigeB » Fri May 05, 2017 11:52 am

I think you AND your family will be pleasantly surprised. This program works IF YOU work it!
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link:
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Re: New and in a bad place

Postby avaneesh912 » Fri May 05, 2017 12:09 pm

I go months, even a year, without alcohol and always come back.

All through the book (alcoholics anonymous) you will see the phrases "peculiar mental twist" or in those days they were comfortable using the word "queer mental twist". Thats what it is. Our warped thinking leads us back into that insidious 1st drink. And then the craving sets in.

That is the Vicious Cycle of Alcoholism.

Our fellowship offers a solution. And it is in the working of the 12 steps. You change your thinking. You no longer will be sucked into the abyss.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: New and in a bad place

Postby ezdzit247 » Fri May 05, 2017 12:49 pm

Hi Rcws and welcome to the e-aa forum.

I also struggled with trying to quit drinking and stay sober for several years after I realized I had a drinking problem. I kept quitting "forever" but "forever" never lasted for more than a month before I took that first drink again. I finally discovered AA's 24 hour plan about two years after my first AA meeting and following that plan worked real well for me. There's a description of how the plan works in an AA pamphlet entitled: "This is A.A.... an introduction to the A.A. recovery program". You can read it online by clicking on this link:

Here's an excerpt from the pamphlet on AA's 24-hour plan also known as the One Day At A Time plan or ODAAT.

"....For example, we take no pledges, we don’t say that we will “never” drink again. Instead, we try to follow what we in A.A. call the “24-hour plan.” We concentrate on keeping sober just the current twenty-four hours. We simply try to get through one day at a time without a drink. If we feel the urge for a drink, we neither yield nor resist. We merely put off taking that particular drink until tomorrow…."

In addition to doing AA's 24 hour plan, I followed the advice of AA members in meetings who suggested attending at least one AA meeting a day in the first 90 days of recovery. That worked real well for me too. One day at a time, one meeting at a time, I felt better physically, stronger emotionally, much clearer mentally, and was finally able to begin to grasp how the AA program works and the things I needed to do to make it work for me.

Looking forward to hearing more from you. Keep coming back..... =smile
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of leave the world a better know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: New and in a bad place

Postby Roberth » Mon May 08, 2017 11:32 am

Hello Rcws. Welcome to E-AA. My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. Most of us have been were you are. the feeling of failure that come from the depression and hopelessness, but we are not failures. Plain and simple we sick people recovering from a disease called Alcoholism. I will tell you what they told me. You will never have to take another drink if you don't what to and even if you what to you wont have to if you are willing to do a few simple things. That was 25 years ago and so far I haven't
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!
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