New and in a bad place

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New and in a bad place

Post by Rcws » Fri May 05, 2017 8:26 am

I have tried to quit drinking on my own for the Several years.. I will go months or even a year without a drink and am really happy. I then think I can manage it and go back to drinking. Each time I go back, I put myself in a worse position and feel increasingly depressed. Last night was one of those hard nights and this is about as low as I have felt after a night of drinking.

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Re: New and in a bad place

Post by Wiganman » Thu Jun 08, 2017 1:53 pm

Hello and welcome! I can relate to how you feel what you are describing is the powerlessness you feel against alcohol and how your life is becoming unmanageable.

This site is full of people who have felt the same and now live a happy and free life as a result of AA and the 12 steps.

Please stick around and read the great advice that is shared on this forum.

Good luck we are all in this together and we can all recover together.

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Re: New and in a bad place

Post by PaigeB » Fri Jun 09, 2017 2:20 pm

Keep coming back. Seriously. No matter what.

We always think we have time. Unfortunately, alcoholism is deadly and many run out of time.

Surrender to win!
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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Re: New and in a bad place

Post by Roberth » Mon Jun 12, 2017 11:47 am

Hello Rcws, and welcome to E-AA. My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. I have found there are more people start drinking when times are good then when time are bad. Our minds plays tricks with are memory. I forget how bad I was when things are good. Two things I learned early on is one I needed sufficient substitute for my drinking and a reminder of the way I use to be. AA has given me both.

hope you find what I have found in AA
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!

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Re: New and in a bad place

Post by Duke » Mon Jun 12, 2017 12:02 pm

Welcome Rcws. You've described pretty much the same experience every alcoholic I've known has had when they try to drink again. Not only is it not better, it's often progressed.

The good news is there is a solution. You just have to practice the solution every day. It sounds daunting, but it really isn't. It's just a new (and better) way to live.

It sounds like you may be ready to quit trying the "learn how to drink sanely" approach. There simply is no such thing for alcoholics.

Good luck. We'll be here.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa

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Re: New and in a bad place

Post by chefchip » Tue Jun 13, 2017 4:01 am

Rcws wrote:I have tried to quit drinking on my own for the Several years.
I have tried.
On my own.
I can do it myself.
I'm strong enough.
I'm good enough.

All of those statements above were things I told myself for my first 10 years of attempts at sobriety. All they got me was 10 years of attempts at sobriety. Then I gave AA and the Big Book a chance, a real chance. I learned that my best attempts, alone, were futile. I learned that I was not the center of either the universe or my happiness. I learned that I needed other people and power that was not within myself.

With more than a few "one days" under my belt now, I've also learned that I will never, ever, be able to manage IT. IT is unmanageable without others and without what I have found to be my higher power.

So the question I would ask is this question -- if this is about as low as you have ever been, do you think it is as low as you are willing to go before getting serious about stopping your inexorable slide into the pit? If so, we can help -- both here on e-AA and in the physical rooms of AA. It's your choice, friend.
The only constant in life is change.

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