Just want to say Hi

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Just want to say Hi

Postby jolee246 » Tue Apr 25, 2017 2:37 am

Hi everybody. Delighted I stumbled upon this forum. I am four weeks alcohol free tomorrow and have been attending meetings for about 6 weeks now. Although I make a real effort to share at meetings, I am not very good at hanging back afterwards and talking to people. I'm not too sure why, I'm sure it will come. Meanwhile I think this forum will be a great help. I am struggling with dealing with my emotions without my crutch of alcohol. I am currently feeling like a total fraud as I am in the middle of a Masters and I am doing the bare minimum to get by, focusing on not drinking instead. This plummets me into turmoil because it's unfair on my classmates. At the end, in June I will have a Master but I don't feel I deserve it. My only master right now is in covering up and being deceitful while my classmates put blood swear and tears into their masters. I'm angry with myself because of it.

I'm also very bad at contacting people who give me their phone numbers. I feel they have their own lives so I apologise in advance for my random rants lol.

It's great to have found this and I look forward to getting to know you all

=biggrin =biggrin
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Re: Just want to say Hi

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Apr 25, 2017 4:01 am

I am struggling with dealing with my emotions without my crutch of alcohol


Welcome to the world of alcoholism. Thats precisely what alcoholics do. Thats what we call in AA the spiritual malady or un-treated alcoholism. And that un-checked will lead us back into the first drink and then the craving piece.

Also the book says when the spiritual malady is overcome we straighten out mentally and physically.

Hope you find a sponsor who will walk you thru the 12 steps and help you have a psychic change/spiritual awakening.

Good Luck.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Just want to say Hi

Postby clouds » Tue Apr 25, 2017 5:18 am

Welcome Jolee! :)

Glad you found us.
Read around the site, lots of topics on newcomers and how doing the AA Steps keep us sober.
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: Just want to say Hi

Postby Brock » Tue Apr 25, 2017 6:34 am

Welcome here jolee, congrats on the four weeks.

One of the main things I liked about AA is that it's all suggestions, nobody says we must do this or that. There may be strong suggestions, like if you don't try to do these steps you will almost certainly end up drinking again, and that suggestion we do well to consider. They also say take what you want and leave the rest, it's mainly in reference to how we identify with what people say in meetings, personally I extend it to things like staying back after a meeting, or calling someone even if you don't feel like drinking, (and please keep in mind that even half way through the step work the feeling to drink will no longer be there).

The fact that you go to meetings at all is cause to say well done, I wouldn't worry about the smaller stuff like staying back or phoning, except of course if a strong urge to drink comes over you. There are loads of 'tapes' on you tube many of us found useful in early sobriety, I still listen now and again to a few of the speakers. If you type in 'AA Joe and Charlie' there are a series of big book discussions, and if you type in 'Chris R' you listen to a no nonsense speaker who some consider a 'firebrand,' there are many others like Sandy B who are very popular.

The letting down of classmates a bit, when you are pursuing something like the need to stop drinking, is to me just putting your priorities in the right order. In June you might thank them and just say sorry you were distracted, ask any questions you have here as well, it's what keeps this forum alive, best of luck.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Just want to say Hi

Postby PaigeB » Tue Apr 25, 2017 11:55 am

My only master right now is in covering up and being deceitful while my classmates put blood swear and tears into their masters. I'm angry with myself because of it.

You can be angry at the disease, but don't spend too much time entertaining that aspect. Don't constantly wallow & nourish the negative stuff ~ it has a voracious appetite. I have found through my own experience that I can look at the bright side of anything. For me the bright side of having alcoholism is that I have found Alcoholics Anonymous! What wonderful people! What an amazingly effective set of Steps and really changed my life! Wow! I can be Grateful that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC!

Being angry with yourself? We have a Step for that! Actually a couple of Steps can apply... Looking at Step 3 though, I have made a decision to Do this 12 Step program and turn my thoughts (will) and my actions (life) over to the care of my HP. I think that also covers the past and all the crazy (Step 2) and unmanageable disease stuff (Step 1). I often do the prayer & meditation the morning - doing Steps 1, 2, and 3 on the way to the coffee pot "I can't manage, AA can help me, I want to do this thing". Usually my first Gratitude is that pleasure of warm fluid and caffeine entering my being and waking hopeful for the day. It's hard to be angry when we practice Gratitude.
I'm also very bad at contacting people who give me their phone numbers. I feel they have their own lives so I apologise in advance for my random rants lol

Seriously - you help the other person more than they help you. I Know this because I have both called the people on my list AND I have taken calls from others. When I am NOT ranting I have a better connection with my Higher Power I guess. You might just try it a couple of times. It only works when you work it. Read this on page 89, "Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot if our lives." We can't have that bright spot in the day if you don't call us! Read all of page 89... We need you!

Keep coming back! We'll be here! :D :) =biggrin :shock: :roll: :wink: :lol: 8) :P :mrgreen: =wink :) =smile
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Just want to say Hi

Postby positrac » Wed Apr 26, 2017 3:21 am

Welcome and thanks for the share..... Hanging back afterwards was one of my hardest things to accept and learn to do. Once I found people who had what I wanted it became easier. Remember there isn't any perfection in doing this and so we are human and that is that.

Some good points have been added and we have had our share of issues along the way and at times they come back to visit us and we have to shut those doors. If you keep coming back and work the steps, put the plug in the jug you can become free of the desire to drink and then it is you that will change and become different and yet you'll be the same ole person just different because the addiction is not controlling you.

So take a breath and seize the world and it will get better.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
Hopi Proverb
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Re: Just want to say Hi

Postby jolee246 » Wed Apr 26, 2017 5:55 am

Thank you everybody for your kind words. I suppose the beginning of anything is the hardest. This site makes for interesting reading. You think you have a question but then find the answers where someone else has asked. It's refreshing to know everyone is in the same boat, just on different levels. Thanks again so much for your kindness. This too shall pass.
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Re: Just want to say Hi

Postby PaigeB » Wed Apr 26, 2017 11:54 am

It's refreshing to know everyone is in the same boat, just on different levels.

That is cool huh? The person with 20 years can learn from the person who has 3 years!

We all have today!
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: Just want to say Hi

Postby ezdzit247 » Wed Apr 26, 2017 5:09 pm

Hi jolee246 and welcome.

Congratulations on 30 days of sobriety!

Keep coming back.....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: Just want to say Hi

Postby Noels » Thu Apr 27, 2017 1:22 am

QUOTE - I am currently feeling like a total fraud as I am in the middle of a Masters and I am doing the bare minimum to get by, focusing on not drinking instead. This plummets me into turmoil because it's unfair on my classmates. At the end, in June I will have a Master but I don't feel I deserve it. My only master right now is in covering up and being deceitful while my classmates put blood swear and tears into their masters. I'm angry with myself because of it.

Good morning Jolee and welcome to e-aa :D Thank you for sharing your fears and truth with us and well done on focusing to get that drinking under control! That is huge and from what I see you can be proud of yourself for doing so well rather than beating yourself up by concentrating on the "personally perceived negative" of "not being there".

I have learned through life that Creator knows when we are busy with something very important and life changing and at those times Creator makes sure that It place others with us to do the work so we can be free to focus and concentrate on what is at hand to ensure successful transformation. Considering this is it possible that your classmates know, understand and accept that they need to cover your back until June to enable you to complete your Masters successfully? That to me would be what team work is about :D

So I'd say be kind to yourself. Once you have attained your Masters you will gladly be there again to assist your classmates with further studies if necessary.

Have a beautiful sun filled day and well done so far! Keep coming back :D

Love and Light
xxx Noels
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