Introduction

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Introduction

Postby Larry » Thu Apr 13, 2017 5:38 pm

New to this group, ive been around aa for a year or so. Im 39 , married with 3 kids, been drinking since I was 14. Over the years it's gotten worst, last 4 of july, I feel iff the deep end went on a bender, I was disgusted with myself, checked myself into rehab. I didnt tell my wife till after I was there. I would drink after work and still be good to work the next morning. But my days off I would iver do. When I got out of rehab, I lost position at work, which I had for 13 years. I got transferred niw I stay gone for 2 weeks at a time and have a week off. I keep slipping up, I try to go to meetings, its hard to make them at times. Just learning how to adjust with all the change of the last year. Tuesday I slipped up again , argued with my wife. And ended up drinking all day Wednesday. My wife left Wednesday and didnt come home, which at times I dont blame her, ive just done nothing but let her and mybkids down.
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Re: Introduction

Postby Brock » Fri Apr 14, 2017 6:05 am

Welcome to e-AA Larry.

One of the things in your post which stood out for me was when you said “ive been around aa for a year or so,” because this is something I did myself. I was going to meetings but it didn't help much, some fellows were speaking about steps and spirituality but I didn't bother too much with that. After being in and out of AA a few times and things getting worse and worse, (as they are with you), finally I accepted that maybe these steps were the answer. And it's not half as hard as it looks on paper, you have done #1 right here, admitting your life is going crappy, you have tried to stop on your own it didn't work, so you need something more powerful #2 done, so now you just say I am going to give this power a chance, read what they say in the big book and move on to 4 & 5, it says there that often after this is when we got the good feeling that this drink problem was being removed.

It's not easy being away from home a couple of weeks at a time, I have worked on offshore oil rigs and know the feeling, then we are home with time on our hands and maybe drinking on our minds. I used to find the AA talks on you tube very helpful, people like Chris R and Sandy B and many others, they got me through when I was feeling for a drink. But then the steps themselves kicked in and stayed in, by me getting used to a simple way of life outlined in #10 & 11. And not some nerd way of life either, I enjoy doing things and going where I want, being spiritual is not some weird monk like thing, it's a cool way to live and drinking doesn’t really cross my mind anymore.

Try to give AA a real chance by doing those steps, me and maybe a million others guarantee you won't regret it, ask any questions here if you wish, and best of luck.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Introduction

Postby positrac » Fri Apr 14, 2017 7:03 am

One thing may have to mentally sink in is this is not a country song we play backwards and our kids, wife, dog, cat, job and whatever else is in the mix will just come back because you have changed. Life goes on and if you remain sober and actually engage in the process of self help via steps you can over come the current situation. This process is an inside job with help of others in the fellowship.

I was a retread 3 times before I figured I was hopelessly powerless over alcohol and once I surrendered my life began to change slowly and it has gotten better every since. Facts are sobriety is living life on life's terms and some days life is a real rascal.

All I know is if you want what we have then it is yours.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
Hopi Proverb
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Re: Introduction

Postby Noels » Fri Apr 14, 2017 9:42 am

Welcome Larry :D it works if you work it :D
Last edited by Noels on Fri Apr 14, 2017 10:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Introduction

Postby tomsteve » Fri Apr 14, 2017 10:26 am

glad your here,larry.
going to meetings and not drinking does NOT treat alcoholism. being AROUND aa gets a lot of people drunk. making excuses for not going to meetings early on gets people drunk. there are meetings everywhere and directories available.
no one said getting sober was easy nor would everything fall into place and then its all sunshine,daisies, unicorns, and rainbows. theres no drink worthy events and no excuse to not work the program.
now, do you want what we have? do you know what it is we have? are you willing to go to any lengths to get it?
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Re: Introduction

Postby Roberth » Fri Apr 14, 2017 11:41 am

Hi Larry, My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic.
I know I played with this thing for 3 months and then the strongest urge to drink my life hit me. I told my then wife to take me to a meeting or I was going to the liquor store. When then it happened, I heard my story coming out of someone else’s mouth. I did I knew at that moment that AA would work for me. And I knew it not only my head but my heart as well. I made a commitment to AA to keep coming back drunk, sober or crazy.
Right then and there the obsession to drink was lifted and hasn’t returned. That was over 25 years ago. My sponsor told me that I had done my second and third steps. I came to believe and made my decision, which he then walked me through the next 4 steps immediately.
He told me that doing what the big book says is lot better than just reading about what to do.
You may not hear you story like I did, you only hear parts from different people but I can tell you this If I didn’t come to believe AA would work for me I would be drunk or worst.
Robert
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!
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Re: Introduction

Postby Larry » Fri Apr 14, 2017 2:44 pm

I think I know what I need to do, work on the steps and go to meetings. When im off work. I talked to my sponsor today amd we are going to meet up when I get in. One problem I see with myself is calling people from aa, almost not sure what to talk about, at times almost as a bother to them. It is something I need to work on. How would you say, to stay plugged in.
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Re: Introduction

Postby tomsteve » Fri Apr 14, 2017 4:24 pm

have you ever had someone- whether in aa or not- reach out to you for help in any way? and after you felt good you were able to help someone?
if so,then what gives you the right to deny someone that same feeling if you reached out to them?
pretty simple to call and say," just callin because i have to start doing this if i want freedom from alcohol and i really dont know what to say or talk about."
simple to call and ask THEM about THEIR day or even about their story- what they used to be like,what happened, and what theyre like now.
seems to me what yer experiencing with pickin up the phone is fear and quite common for a lot of folks early on.
as you practice doing it, eventually it will,get easier.
then youll become an oldtimer, pick up the phone to call someone, and once they say,"hello?" you will completely forget why ya called. :)

good on ya for callin yer sponsor! and goon on ya for admitting problems!
the great thing with problems is that for every problem there IS a solution.
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Re: Introduction

Postby Brock » Fri Apr 14, 2017 5:03 pm

One problem I see with myself is calling people from aa, almost not sure what to talk about, at times almost as a bother to them.

While I agree with tomsteve that most in AA are happy to receive these calls, and perhaps it makes them feel good, I also felt the same way that you do about calling.

It seems to vary from sponsor to sponsor, I have discussed this in meetings before, and some say they ask their sponsees to call each day, some say they encourage calling if and when you run into trouble and feel like drinking. Personally I don't see the point of calling to say I am OK, but if your sponsor insists on this and that's who you want as a sponsor, maybe just go with it, at least until you get through the steps.

I don't believe there are any reliable instructions in the literature for this, if I point to a section in the book “Living Sober,” which says that we stop having sponsors after we complete the steps, those who believe in 'sponsorship for life' might get upset. I never had a sponsor and never called anyone in AA, except to say I was leaving to pick them up for a meeting they asked for a lift to, but everyone is different and has different needs. I hope your sponsor understands this.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Introduction

Postby ezdzit247 » Fri Apr 14, 2017 5:49 pm

Larry wrote:I think I know what I need to do, work on the steps and go to meetings. When im off work. I talked to my sponsor today amd we are going to meet up when I get in. One problem I see with myself is calling people from aa, almost not sure what to talk about, at times almost as a bother to them. It is something I need to work on. How would you say, to stay plugged in.


Good plan, Larry. When you are working and can't get to a face 2 face AA meeting, there's a website called StepChat that hosts AA online meetings 24/7 as well a chat room for more private conversations. The members are there specifically to share their ESH, answer questions about recovery or help fellow AAers through a rough time so you won't need to worry about feeling like you're bothering anyone.

I was a chronic relapser for about 2 years after I reached out to AA for help with my drinking problem. Thank God the AA members I met told me to "keep coming back" and I did until I finally "got it" about not taking that first drink. I finally used AA's 24 hour plan to stop drinking, stay sober, and start living one day at a time. That worked really well for me and is still working today, almost 39 years later. It will work for you too.

Keep coming back.....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: Introduction

Postby Larry » Sun Apr 16, 2017 7:53 am

Thank everyone on the input, it has help me , looking at things differently. Have also been listening to the speaker chris r, sandy b, thanks for the recommendation . Also working on my 4th step, talked with my sponsor about things I had question with my work. Thanks for everything.
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