20 Months of Sobriety down the drain

New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.

20 Months of Sobriety down the drain

Postby Rossco » Mon Mar 06, 2017 2:03 pm

Hi to everyone This seems like a great place to get support staying sober and that's what I want & need . A quick bit about my time with Alcohol Had my first drinks at the age of 6 yes 6 after a New year's Eve party my parents had went down stairs early in the am and got thoroughly drunk finishing the left over drinks I found rye and Cokes mostly I had no idea that's what I was doing but that's exactly what I did .
Didn't drink again until I was 13 then drank on and of for my teenage years always to excess Once I have one drink I find it next to impossible to stop.

Then I met a wonderful woman and she showed me a better way of being you don't have to drink to get drunk . This helped me for a while but inevitabley I'd go back to drinking to get drunk especially if I felt under stress or pressures of life.

32 years later and that wonderful woman is still my Wife and best friend she has given me so many second chances and I always have good intentions but sooner or later mostly later I start drinking heavily again .
I stopped 20 months ago and then blew a week a go with an evening of drunken insanity it was unplanned we were out dancing and one drink led to way to many .
It's taken me a very long time to admit to myself that I am in fact Alcoholic My brother is Alcoholic my Father is Alcoholic all my Scottish relatives drink heavily many of them are alcoholic. So I told myself a lie for decades to keep drinking I told myself I was just a problem drinker but that's not the case I'm absolutely Alcoholic and I'm here for help and to help . I want very much to stay sober one day a a time . Thanks for listening looking forward to getting to know you all.
There are also atheists
and agnostics among us. Belief in or adherence to
a formal creed is not a condition of membership.
We are united by our common problem, alcohol.
(from about AA)
Rossco
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:14 am
Location: Vancouver Canada

Re: 20 Months of Sobriety down the drain

Postby Spirit Flower » Mon Mar 06, 2017 3:11 pm

Hi Rossco, welcome!

Your post doesn't say if you got 20 months by going to AA or stopped on your own. But working the AA program can keep you from "slipping". But it s program and you do have to work it. The best hing is to check out an AA meeting near you. Read the book Alcoholics Anonymous online for free. It talks about how we can't "stay stopped." And how after working the steps, it never even crosses our mind.


All this information can be found here: http://www.aa.org/
...a score card reading zero...
User avatar
Spirit Flower
Trusted Servant
 
Posts: 1755
Joined: Fri Feb 09, 2007 5:49 am
Location: Texas

Re: 20 Months of Sobriety down the drain

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Mar 06, 2017 3:12 pm

I stopped 20 months ago and then blew a week a go with an evening of drunken insanity it was unplanned we were out dancing and one drink led to way to many .


We have to come to realize that an alcoholic without support, will go back to that 1st drink. He/She will come up with some reason that he/she deserves a drink. Or sometimes he/she doesn't think at all. Thats the baffling nature of this disease.

Hope you get plugged into the fellowship, find a sponsor and start working the 12 steps so you can be restored to sanity. So next time, you wont pick up accidentally.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
User avatar
avaneesh912
Trusted Servant
 
Posts: 4646
Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 12:22 pm
Location: Atlanta, GA

Re: 20 Months of Sobriety down the drain

Postby Rossco » Mon Mar 06, 2017 3:26 pm

Hi Spirit Flower thanks for the reply & advice

I stopped drinking on my own I go long period's without Alcohol fortunately I don't feel compelled to drink on. A daily or weekly basis but when I do drink And eventually I always do I drink to extreme excess many times Blacking out This goes on for days weeks some.times months drinking to excess Then I stop for weeks or months or many times years I desperately want to break this cycle of Alcohol abuse its wrecking my life. I'm willing to do what it takes to achieve this. Thanks for all replys
There are also atheists
and agnostics among us. Belief in or adherence to
a formal creed is not a condition of membership.
We are united by our common problem, alcohol.
(from about AA)
Rossco
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:14 am
Location: Vancouver Canada

Re: 20 Months of Sobriety down the drain

Postby Spirit Flower » Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:57 pm

If you are an alcoholic, then you are an alcoholic in between drinks. Many alcoholics are binge drinkers. They find the problem still exists even after being dry for a time.

You never have to drink again, but you would have to work the program of AA; otherwise, you'll try the experiment again.
...a score card reading zero...
User avatar
Spirit Flower
Trusted Servant
 
Posts: 1755
Joined: Fri Feb 09, 2007 5:49 am
Location: Texas

Re: 20 Months of Sobriety down the drain

Postby Rossco » Mon Mar 06, 2017 6:19 pm

Hiello Spirit Flower

There's no if about it at this point I may not be norm as I can go long periods without Alcohol or thinking about Alcohol but when I get stressed out in a major way or overly depressed I turn to alcohol for the sense of oblivion it brings when taken in excess. More than anything I need to break this pattern .
I have started down the road to achieving this but I now realize I need help I can't do it alone I have tried and failed.
There are also atheists
and agnostics among us. Belief in or adherence to
a formal creed is not a condition of membership.
We are united by our common problem, alcohol.
(from about AA)
Rossco
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:14 am
Location: Vancouver Canada

Re: 20 Months of Sobriety down the drain

Postby Noels » Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:19 am

Good morning Rossco and welcome :D Thank you for sharing with us :D I was also a binge drinker who drank when stressed so I understand where you're coming from. I wasn't drunk every day but when I drank I made up for days that I didn't so i could just as well have had a glass or five on a daily basis. Towards the end i found that periods in between being sober and the "stress binge drinking" was less far apart so i was basically drinking at least every 3 days, the day in between the drinking and the drinking day i didn't drink simply because i felt too ill to even think of booze. Another thing i noticed at that time was that my "recovery period" in between the drinking and not drinking became longer. Whereas i initially would recover and feel better towards late afternoon on the "clean/2nd day" i only started feeling better towards the afternoon of the "clean/3rd day" and that night, because i didn't do much the previous day or the morning of the "clean/2nd day" i would be stressed again because everything in my life seemed to be a mess so i would hit the bottle and have a party with myself once again. Vicious cycle - over and over and over again. Having "fun" on the merry go round :D

Binge drinking is possibly one of the most difficult "type of alcoholics" to accept that we are indeed alcoholic simply because we don't drink every day but with alcoholism being a progressive disease i can indeed confirm that it doesn't stay at once a month, once a week or now-and-then. Eventually the in between periods become less and less and our lives spiral downwards in exactly the same way as the alcoholic who drinks to live and live to drink.

Thankfully i was shown this in time, before i lost everything and i believe the same has been done for you.

So welcome, congratulations on accepting the truth and we look forward to hearing more from you :D

Mwah xxx
Noels
There is only Love
Noels
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1247
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2016 6:14 am

Re: 20 Months of Sobriety down the drain

Postby Rossco » Tue Mar 07, 2017 2:35 am

Hello Noel's
Thank you for the warm Welcome =smile and for sharing your experience with "stress binge drinking" it's a hard pattern to break ! I am determined to break it working the steps & with the help of the people here. In a way I feel like a weight has been lifted from me and I can finally come up for air . Thanks again for sharing
There are also atheists
and agnostics among us. Belief in or adherence to
a formal creed is not a condition of membership.
We are united by our common problem, alcohol.
(from about AA)
Rossco
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:14 am
Location: Vancouver Canada

Re: 20 Months of Sobriety down the drain

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Mar 07, 2017 4:55 am

Binge drinking is possibly one of the most difficult "type of alcoholics" to accept that we are indeed alcoholic simply because we don't drink every day but with alcoholism being a progressive disease i can indeed confirm that it doesn't stay at once a month, once a week or now-and-then.


I totally agree. First of all they honestly want to quit. Then we could point them to page 24. It makes sense to them. We have a guy at the correction camp. 9th time now. We asked him what happens every time he gets out of the camp. All is well first few weeks, months, then some internal discomfort creeps in (fear, anxiety, restlessness) slowly slowly the old thoughts creep back into him. Then he would hit the blind spot exactly like the book talks about on page 24 in italics. He now realized that he does indeed can't survive without bringing in some change. Though slow, he has been looking at himself by writing an inventory. Since he is got time (to get out of the camp), we have not been rushing with the 5th step.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
User avatar
avaneesh912
Trusted Servant
 
Posts: 4646
Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 12:22 pm
Location: Atlanta, GA

Re: 20 Months of Sobriety down the drain

Postby Mike O » Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:51 am

Hi Rossco, and welcome to the group.

Isn't it amazing how that "one" drink starts things off for us? I realised years ago that I could never happily have just one drink. I hated stopping after just one, so usually I found ways not to. But, I'm here and still happily sober after 9 years - the 12 steps did that.

You've made a great start on the road to happy sobriety by coming here and telling your story.

Others have given great advice above, so why not start reading that Big Book and more importantly, and crucially...THE 12 STEPS.
=biggrin
Mike O
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 3313
Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 9:55 am
Location: UK

Re: 20 Months of Sobriety down the drain

Postby tyg » Tue Mar 07, 2017 2:42 pm

Know, you can break the cycle and recover from that hopeless merry-go-round you have been experiencing with your own drinking problem.
Hope you will go to some meetings and talk with other recovered alcoholics (those who have taken the 12 Steps). Ask one to show you how to apply them in your life. Then you can find that, "We recover by the Steps we take, not the meetings we make."

Glad you have joined us on the Forum Rossco and hope you keep posting often.
~The secret to the AA program is the first three words on page 112~
User avatar
tyg
Forums Long Timer
 
Posts: 574
Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 6:34 pm

Re: 20 Months of Sobriety down the drain

Postby Rossco » Tue Mar 07, 2017 4:01 pm

Hi Mike O
Thanks for the welcome and reply ! Started reading the Big Book yesterday "The Doctors Opinion" today it's "Bill's Story" Congratulation on 9 years of Sobriety ! =smile I want to be here 9 years from now posting something similar and that's up to me and the choices I make on a daily basis. I'm very grateful to have such a great place to come and share listen and learn any hour of day or night This place is an amazing resource !!
There are also atheists
and agnostics among us. Belief in or adherence to
a formal creed is not a condition of membership.
We are united by our common problem, alcohol.
(from about AA)
Rossco
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:14 am
Location: Vancouver Canada

Re: 20 Months of Sobriety down the drain

Postby Rossco » Tue Mar 07, 2017 4:17 pm

Hi tyg thanks for the response and welcome. I know and have spoken with many recovered alcoholics that's partly why I'm convinced I can achieve lasting sobriety and get off this destructive roller coaster. Step 4 is the hill I've got to climb "Make a searching and fearless moral inventory" this one's going to be the hardest for me. I have a lot of shame attached to past actions i've done while blacked out & or extremely intoxicated.
There are also atheists
and agnostics among us. Belief in or adherence to
a formal creed is not a condition of membership.
We are united by our common problem, alcohol.
(from about AA)
Rossco
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:14 am
Location: Vancouver Canada

Re: 20 Months of Sobriety down the drain

Postby tyg » Fri Mar 10, 2017 11:25 am

That is a normal reaction and you are definitely not alone there… I think the majority of us had felt that way. I sure did. Even the Founders talk about it on page 25 of alcoholics anonymous. http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt2.pdf

Alcoholism is an illness that wants us miserable or dead. Drinking kept me stuck and stagnant. Though functional, I wasn’t prospering and living life at full potential. My relationships suffered and alcohol always caused problems until I took action and cleaned house and started applying the rest of the Steps. When I did these things, my entire life changed. It’s been a pretty cool journey.
~The secret to the AA program is the first three words on page 112~
User avatar
tyg
Forums Long Timer
 
Posts: 574
Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 6:34 pm

Re: 20 Months of Sobriety down the drain

Postby tomsteve » Fri Mar 10, 2017 1:36 pm

Rossco wrote:Hi tyg thanks for the response and welcome. I know and have spoken with many recovered alcoholics that's partly why I'm convinced I can achieve lasting sobriety and get off this destructive roller coaster. Step 4 is the hill I've got to climb "Make a searching and fearless moral inventory" this one's going to be the hardest for me. I have a lot of shame attached to past actions i've done while blacked out & or extremely intoxicated.


the great thing about this problem is the steps are numbered and in that particular order for a reason. each one prepares us for the next.
when I was workin on my 4th step, which involved years and years of resentments,shame,guilt, fear,and remorse( and a bunch of other crap), I was crankin on it- stuff was just flowin.
the meetings I attended had clients from the local detox and one meeting a client said," I got to the 4th step and got drunk." for some reason that's when I noticed I had heard that often and was baffled- there I was crankin on my 4th step, yet people were saying they got to the 4th and got drunk- what gives?
brought it up to an oldtimer after that meeting:
"why am I crankin on the 4th step yet people go drink when they get to it?"
his simple reply:
' you did the first 3 steps."
HUH!!!

FEAR=
F**k Everything And Run
or
Face Everything And Recover
tomsteve
Forums Contributor
 
Posts: 245
Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2014 10:25 am

Next

Return to For the Newcomer

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests