Where to start!

New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.

Where to start!

Postby Will3231 » Thu Mar 02, 2017 12:57 am

Hi all,

So last night i think i finally admitted i have a bit of a problem with drinking.

As a background i come from a cracking family, no history of any abuse, alcoholic etc, i have a great job, 3 wonderful children, and a fantastic wife.

Thing is, last 3-4 years the drinking has gradually became worse, but last 3-4 months really has taken its toll. I prefer drinking indoors, not going out, and can go though a bottle of wine, with 6 pack of ciders no problem. I sometimes go to whisky in between as well!! But last night/this morning really hit home when i drank 10 cans of cider, and it didnt even affect me. Woke up for work and felt fine.

The gambling comes hand in hand with the drinking as well, if i bet i drink, if i drink i gamble. To be honest the only nights i dont drink is when i go to play football. (Which is only once a week =smile )

The wife does tell me i drink alot, but i suppose because i get up for work, can function fine and still do everything fpr the kids(I don't drink in front of them) she assumes i am ok.

Now i am scared. Scared that i am in a downward spiral which i cannot control. Before it would only be the occasional drink (like most people) but now i feel i rely on it.

Apoligies for the long thread but feel i need to start somewhere!!
Will3231
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Mar 01, 2017 11:44 pm

Re: Where to start!

Postby Ange » Thu Mar 02, 2017 3:35 am

Hello there,
I totally identify with you. This week, I too have admitted to having a problem with drink. I have enjoyed a bottle of wine every evening for years now but recently things have spiralled out of control.Currently off work with anxiety related issues and have been self-medicating to cope. A drink takes the 'edge off', the trouble is I've been using it earlier and earlier in the day to do this. Started hiding bottles, long baths to drink in peace. By the end of the day I have downed 2 bottles of wine and a few cans and have blacked out on the sofa. I too have children and a husband and I want my life back! I went to my first AA meeting yesterday and met some very nice people. My husband is in denial and angry with me. He doesn't see the progressive nature of alcoholism. I do. I grew up in a family of those affected!
I wish you well and hope we both find and maintain strength!
Good luck!
Ange
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Mar 02, 2017 3:20 am

Re: Where to start!

Postby Brock » Thu Mar 02, 2017 4:48 am

Hi Will and welcome here, you explained where you are in your drinking very nicely, we have all wondered from time to time when we were drinking if it was getting out of hand. Some of us were lucky to stop at the earlier stages, and some didn't and ended up very badly off.

I myself thought things were getting out of hand about thirty years ago, and did what you are doing now, I asked what I should do and it was recommended I go to AA meetings. I heard some people saying they drank at lunch and I thought I didn't fit in as I wasn’t that bad, although they tried very hard to convince me it's a progressive decease and it would get worse. Some years later I found I needed some drinks at lunch to get through the rest of the workday, and of course many after work, so I tried AA again. Then I heard someone say they had to drink in the morning, another excuse to say I am not that bad and off I went again, anyway I ended up as the fellow who needed a drink before I could think of starting the day, no job, no wife nothing, and I speak about this because alcohol is so cunning it makes us feel we can still manage our life, and I hope and pray that you can avoid the very low place many of us seem to get to, before we are able to accept that we are alcoholics.

AA doesn’t qualify people as alcoholic or not, the individual must decide on their own, there are a couple of guides like this one - http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/is-aa-for ... can-answer which can assist, and you can Google “AA Big Book” and look at sections like the 'Doctors Opinion' near the front, and 'More About Alcoholism' in chapter three.

If you feel you need help just Goggle 'AA Meetings' followed by your area and you should get a list, nothing to fear just some friendly folks and not so good coffee, you can come or go as you wish. Also keeping in touch here helps, ask any question you have, AA is a marvelous program that does way more than remove the craving for drink, and I wish you the very best.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
User avatar
Brock
Forums Coordinator
 
Posts: 3174
Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:45 pm

Re: Where to start!

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu Mar 02, 2017 4:49 am

Realizing we have a problem is the first step. We also need to realize that, if we an alcoholic, we will drink again. Our mind will trick us back into thinking we can drink safely again. Thats where the rest of the 12 steps come in. Find a sponsor who can walk you through the 12 steps and have a spiritual awakening, also known as attitude shift.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
User avatar
avaneesh912
Trusted Servant
 
Posts: 4646
Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 12:22 pm
Location: Atlanta, GA

Re: Where to start!

Postby Noels » Thu Mar 02, 2017 5:13 am

Hi Will and Ange, welcome to e-aa :D

Nice share Brock thank you. There is nothing I can add that hasn't been said already.

Stick around Will. Its good to have you here :D

Mwah xxx Noels
There is only Love
Noels
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1247
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2016 6:14 am

Re: Where to start!

Postby positrac » Thu Mar 02, 2017 9:15 am

As a reminder and this never changes: Alcohol is a mere symptom and the rest is part of our character defects. We didn't get messed up over night and getting sober and remaining sober through the good and bad times is our challenge along with our past.

So your goals of this life time journey is to not fall to the addiction when the world around you crumbles; and those around you might not want to see you succeed and these are real things. I wish you both much success and it will be hard and one thing I was told in the early days was this: Think your drink through from the time it hits your lips to the burning warmth to your stomach and how you'll feel tomorrow as you look in the mirror, and never lose sight of your last drunk. For me those two suggestions have out weighed many could of been failures.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
Hopi Proverb
User avatar
positrac
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1137
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2014 4:03 am

Re: Where to start!

Postby Brock » Thu Mar 02, 2017 9:50 am

Welcome here Ange, you gave a good reply that wasn't viable when I gave mine, first posts are held back for moderator approval due to the spam this site sometimes gets.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
User avatar
Brock
Forums Coordinator
 
Posts: 3174
Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:45 pm

Re: Where to start!

Postby Ange » Thu Mar 02, 2017 10:38 am

Thank you Brock (and everyone who takes the time to offer their wisdom and support),

Today had been a good day. I am expecting highs and lows but today I've felt positive. Took the dog for a long walk, listened to the birds, enjoyed a bit of sunshine. Today, I took notice. I haven't taken notice in a long time.
Ange
Ange
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Mar 02, 2017 3:20 am

Re: Where to start!

Postby positrac » Thu Mar 02, 2017 6:03 pm

Ange wrote:Thank you Brock (and everyone who takes the time to offer their wisdom and support),

Today had been a good day. I am expecting highs and lows but today I've felt positive. Took the dog for a long walk, listened to the birds, enjoyed a bit of sunshine. Today, I took notice. I haven't taken notice in a long time.
Ange

When I drank I took a lot of time for my habit and when I finally accepted sobriety I had to learn time management. These are the early parts of sobriety and taking time for you will be a valuable asset.

Welcome and keep coming back.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
Hopi Proverb
User avatar
positrac
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 1137
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2014 4:03 am

Re: Where to start!

Postby tyg » Fri Mar 03, 2017 12:03 am

I like how Barefoot puts it...
The INSANITY of Alcoholism is NOT the goofy behavior that people exhibit when they are drunk. Everyone who ingests enough alcohol will act goofy. ... ALCOHOLISM is the alcoholic's persistent return to alcohol in the face of overwhelming evidence that it is causing problems his or her life, over and over again.

So, If you can't handle drinking and you can't handle not drinking, then AA is for you. Welcome to the forum Will and Ange. Hope to keep reading more of you both around here.
~The secret to the AA program is the first three words on page 112~
User avatar
tyg
Forums Long Timer
 
Posts: 574
Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 6:34 pm

Re: Where to start!

Postby ezdzit247 » Sun Mar 05, 2017 4:41 pm

Hi Will and welcome.

So last night i think i finally admitted i have a bit of a problem with drinking.


That's a good first step and a great place to start!

Keep coming back....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
User avatar
ezdzit247
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 2077
Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2014 4:38 pm
Location: California


Return to For the Newcomer

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 7 guests