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Please help me

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 12:17 am
by catlover
Hello

I'm a 27-year-old alcoholic who needs your help. I've been excessively drinking for the last 2 years. Prior that, I didn't drink at all. My father was an alcoholic (he died because of it) and my older brother is also an alcoholic. Before the last couple of years, I'd drink sparsely - I'd have a couple of drinks at a party like once every three months. But I experienced a traumatic event and I started drinking heavily in the aftermath.

I need to stop. Booze is ruining my life. I spend all my money on it - I've lost so much weight in the last 2 years because when I come home from work, I don't make a meal. I go to a bar. When I come home from work I'm too wasted to cook, so I just sleep. The environment at work doesn't help at all. There's a big drinking culture there. I'm a journalist (documentary producer/feature writer) and people in our profession can be pigeon-holed as being drunks. Well, at my workplace, the stereotype carries weight. There are at least 10 alcoholics at my workplace - and those who aren't alcoholics do drink heavily in any case. There have been times where I actually don't want to drink on a certain day, but after work, some of my colleagues will drag me out to a bar and we'll proceed to get wasted.

What confounds the situation is that I live in the poorest country in the world. Malawi. There's absolutely no infrastructure for AA support. Zero. And it's killing me. Until last night, I never actually said to myself "I'm an alcoholic." I knew I drank a lot, but I was still in denial. But last night I got really drunk, and was sitting outside a nightclub vomiting, and I thought "what the hell am I doing with my life?"

Please help me. I'm begging you. I have no one else to turn to.

Re: Please help me

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 2:48 am
by Spirit Flower
Welcome catlover. There are online meetings found here viewtopic.php?f=10&t=22907

AA literature is found for free here: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/aa-literature

You can read our text Alcoholics Anonymous there for free online. Working the steps as directed in the book and also the book 12 Steps, is what we do to obtain sobriety.

Re: Please help me

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 3:49 am
by Brock
Welcome to e-AA catlover. This disease of alcoholism is often hereditary, and the fact that your father died of it is a good indicator that you may be suffering from this as well.

Here is a link to 12 questions which helps us decide - http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-3_isaaforyou.pdf

Also in what we call the Big Book, found either in the link Spirit Flower gave, or just Google 'AA Big Book,' if you go to page 20 second paragraph, and read to page 22, you get a description of types of drinkers and alcoholics. It is useful also to read 'The Doctors Opinion' at the front (page xxiii), and if your interest is peaked look at other sections like 'How It Works.” Of course I hope you read the whole book, the basic text is up to page 164, then you see the testimony of some who have recovered. And there are millions of others like myself sitting this morning in all parts of the world, who have recovered completely and never even think of a drink anymore, and live full lives doing everything we used to do, it really is a complete release from the urge to drink and a lovely way to live.

Not having the support of live meetings means looking at other avenues, apart from online meetings you have loads of information at sites like you tube, and at forums like this one, just come each day and say how you are coping, we enjoy supporting each other on the journey to sobriety.

Also it is always a good idea to have a word with your doctor, be absolutely honest about the amount you drink, he may prescribe something to ease the withdrawal symptoms, at first we tend to feel pretty crappy but it gets better in a few days.

Best of luck, with the AA program you can't go wrong.

Re: Please help me

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 12:42 pm
by Roberth
Hello Catlover and welcome to E-AA. My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic… I thank you for your post. I have been sober awhile now and I need to be reminded what I was like when I was new to all of this.
Well you are in the right place if you want to stop drinking. I went to my first AA meeting over 25 years ago and haven’t had a drink since. I found a solution to my problem and much much more. They told me that I would never have to take another drink if I didn’t want to and even I wanted to I wouldn’t have to if I will willing to do a few simple things. Then they showed me how they did it one day at a time.

Re: Please help me

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 12:57 pm
by avaneesh912
What confounds the situation is that I live in the poorest country in the world. Malawi. There's absolutely no infrastructure for AA support.


All you need is another drunk and a small place to start one. Our traditions says that. I carry "How it works", "The Traditions" and the "9th Step Promises" to the correction facility. Who ever shows up we have a meeting. We stay in the literature.

Let us know, how we can help. There are great workshops that you can download onto an mp3 player and play them to a group of audience. I see you can write with great command, you should be able to comprehend what is being shared in those workshops.

Re: Please help me

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 3:00 pm
by PaigeB
Here is a link to AA in your area of the world. While I was unable to find something directly IN Malawi, I believe that your will find help if you call the South African General Service Office or one of the hotlines listed below it.
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources/world/1
We are here at e-aa 24 hours a day. Keep coming back. Read. Write. Find a way to do this with the help of YOUR Higher Power. It is possible. Have Hope. Keep coming back.

Re: Please help me

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 7:27 pm
by Layne
Hi catlover, glad you turned to us and glad for the opportunity to be here for you, as people were for me when I was at my bottom. At one time, I lived on a small island with no AA whatsoever. I found the solution to my problem in he big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. I also found the internet and this site in particular to be a huge help and additional lifeline in my journey towards sobriety and recovery.

Re: Please help me

PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 12:25 am
by catlover
Spirit Flower wrote:Welcome catlover. There are online meetings found here viewtopic.php?f=10&t=22907

AA literature is found for free here: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/aa-literature

You can read our text Alcoholics Anonymous there for free online. Working the steps as directed in the book and also the book 12 Steps, is what we do to obtain sobriety.


Thank you for the link. This will help me a lot.

Re: Please help me

PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 12:31 am
by catlover
Brock wrote:Welcome to e-AA catlover. This disease of alcoholism is often hereditary, and the fact that your father died of it is a good indicator that you may be suffering from this as well.

Here is a link to 12 questions which helps us decide - http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-3_isaaforyou.pdf

Also in what we call the Big Book, found either in the link Spirit Flower gave, or just Google 'AA Big Book,' if you go to page 20 second paragraph, and read to page 22, you get a description of types of drinkers and alcoholics. It is useful also to read 'The Doctors Opinion' at the front (page xxiii), and if your interest is peaked look at other sections like 'How It Works.” Of course I hope you read the whole book, the basic text is up to page 164, then you see the testimony of some who have recovered. And there are millions of others like myself sitting this morning in all parts of the world, who have recovered completely and never even think of a drink anymore, and live full lives doing everything we used to do, it really is a complete release from the urge to drink and a lovely way to live.

Not having the support of live meetings means looking at other avenues, apart from online meetings you have loads of information at sites like you tube, and at forums like this one, just come each day and say how you are coping, we enjoy supporting each other on the journey to sobriety.

Also it is always a good idea to have a word with your doctor, be absolutely honest about the amount you drink, he may prescribe something to ease the withdrawal symptoms, at first we tend to feel pretty crappy but it gets better in a few days.

Best of luck, with the AA program you can't go wrong.


Hello, Brock. Thanks for the response. It's wonderful to hear from people who have recovered and don't even think about a drink anymore. Gives me inspiration.

Re: Please help me

PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 12:35 am
by catlover
Roberth wrote:Hello Catlover and welcome to E-AA. My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic… I thank you for your post. I have been sober awhile now and I need to be reminded what I was like when I was new to all of this.
Well you are in the right place if you want to stop drinking. I went to my first AA meeting over 25 years ago and haven’t had a drink since. I found a solution to my problem and much much more. They told me that I would never have to take another drink if I didn’t want to and even I wanted to I wouldn’t have to if I will willing to do a few simple things. Then they showed me how they did it one day at a time.


25 years? Incredible That's absolutely incredible. And the fact that you did it after one AA meeting shows how strong you are.

Re: Please help me

PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 12:41 am
by catlover
avaneesh912 wrote:
What confounds the situation is that I live in the poorest country in the world. Malawi. There's absolutely no infrastructure for AA support.


All you need is another drunk and a small place to start one. Our traditions says that. I carry "How it works", "The Traditions" and the "9th Step Promises" to the correction facility. Who ever shows up we have a meeting. We stay in the literature.

Let us know, how we can help. There are great workshops that you can download onto an mp3 player and play them to a group of audience. I see you can write with great command, you should be able to comprehend what is being shared in those workshops.


Hello, Avaneesh

Thanks for getting in contact. I'll look into downloading some material. I need all I can get right now.

Re: Please help me

PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:48 am
by avaneesh912
How it works is starting of chapter "How it works" till the ABCs.

Traditions the abridged format, can be found back of the 4th edition.

And the 9th step promises are on page 83 starting with

"if we are painstaking ........" till "They will always materialize if we work for them" on the next page.

All can be found on the 4th Edition.

You might have to find earlier editions or search around the web for HMTL version of these text. I am sure there are several sites carry the html version. The PDFs on AA.org would not allow us to copy the portion (its copyrighted).

I have them printed and laminated so that they can withhold the wear and tear.

Good luck.

Re: Please help me

PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 12:51 pm
by Roberth
25 years? Incredible That's absolutely incredible. And the fact that you did it after one AA meeting shows how strong you are.

Thank you catlover….but I am not really very strong at all. The secret was I didn’t drink and didn’t die…lol…all kidding aside what it really shows is that how well the program and the fellowship of AA really work. I never thought I would make it this far but I was surrounded by people who show me how they did it ……in the beginning I thought one of the steps was “just get in the car.” And I am so grateful I didn't say no.

Re: Please help me

PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 4:58 am
by positrac
catlover,
I hope you can find sobriety and keep the excuses of the profession out of the equation because in my case it is a life and or death deal with my disease of alcoholism ( our mantra was work hard play hard.) one thing AA taught me is people, places and things can harm my progress and I have to decide how I will manage these. Obviously the luxury of up and moving and changing everything is not real or really correct as we are just running from our problems. Time will dictate those events and you should keep coming back because you are young and a full life in front of you. I was 23 when I got sober finally after retreading in and out of AA and that was in 1989. (27 years ago) So anything is possible and you can do it and yes it is hard at first and it can drive us mad at times. But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

be well

Re: Please help me

PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 5:13 am
by Noels
Roberth wrote:
25 years? Incredible That's absolutely incredible. And the fact that you did it after one AA meeting shows how strong you are.

Thank you catlover….but I am not really very strong at all. The secret was I didn’t drink and didn’t die…lol…all kidding aside what it really shows is that how well the program and the fellowship of AA really work. I never thought I would make it this far but I was surrounded by people who show me how they did it ……in the beginning I thought one of the steps was “just get in the car.” And I am so grateful I didn't say no.


:D :D :D Love it :D :D :D