the dilemma of choosing and asking for a sponsor

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the dilemma of choosing and asking for a sponsor

Postby Trasi » Sat Jan 21, 2017 2:28 am

Well, I finally plucked up courage and asked somebody at my meeting to be my sponsor. I was dreading it and putting it off for two reasons. Firstly I do not want to be a burden to anybody, supposing they are obliged to say yes but they already have a really busy schedule? Also, there were two possible candidates and now I have made my choice I feel a bit bad for one of the ladies who kindly gave me her number. I don`t want her to feel hurt because I did not choose her but then that sounds like I`m putting myself on a pedestal. I chose the second lady because I related to some of the things she was saying in her `shares` whereas the first lady tended to keep quiet. My new sponsor asked me if I was serious about going through the 12 steps, I said I am but what on earth do I expect?? feeling rather nervous and apprehensive.
Trasi
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Re: the dilemma of choosing and asking for a sponsor

Postby Mike O » Sat Jan 21, 2017 2:41 am

Hi Trasi,

Welcome to the group.

What to expect?
Good question.
Have you read the book Alcoholics Anonymous? It's also called the Big Book and it contains all you need to know about the A.A. programme - the 12 steps.

It's available from all major booksellers and it's available free to read online here:
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous

Why not start by reading this.

Mike :D
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Re: the dilemma of choosing and asking for a sponsor

Postby Trasi » Sat Jan 21, 2017 2:55 am

Hi Mike, my copy is winging its way to me through the post, hopefully I will receive it soon. I have read the little blue book that was given to me at my very first meeting.

Trasi :P
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Re: the dilemma of choosing and asking for a sponsor

Postby Brock » Sat Jan 21, 2017 4:51 am

Welcome here Trasi. There is an AA pamphlet on sponsorship you would find useful here -
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf

The pamphlet will show why it's not a burden on the sponsor, and it sounds to me like you may have picked a winner, I say this based on the question she asked about how serious you are regarding the steps, because that's where the solution lies.

We do get people asking questions here from time to time, about things their sponsors ask them to do, every sponsor seems to have their own 'style,' which I have come to the conclusion is simply based on doing things the way their sponsor did it with them. If you feel uncomfortable doing something she says ask her why it's important, many ask that you call them daily to say how things are going, play it by ear, if it sounds reasonable go along.

Best of luck to you.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: the dilemma of choosing and asking for a sponsor

Postby avaneesh912 » Sat Jan 21, 2017 6:10 am

feeling rather nervous and apprehensive.


Almost everyone is one on the same boat initially. Without a thorough understanding of how this works, we would naturally be apprehensive. Because this person asked how serious you are about the 12 steps, tells me that she is well rounded. You may augment acquiring knowledge of the 12 steps by listening to some of the great workshops available on-line free of cost. xa-speakers (dot) org is a great site for such workshops.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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