I'm new and scared

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I'm new and scared

Postby LeeLondon » Wed Jan 11, 2017 7:48 am

Hey, so I am not really sure how to start this but I guess I have a question. I have been drinking pretty heavily on and off for the past 10 years. I have two beautiful children, 5 and 2, and I completely abstained while pregnant.
I have now been sober since Christmas day, except this past Sunday I had two glasses of wine. I had started finally feeling more normal and thought I could handle it. Well now I have nausea, throwing up and lack of appetite all over again. It was pretty bad in the week after Christmas but I had started feeling better! Is this normal?? I am mostly worried that I have done permanant damage to my body and I will never feel well again. I have so much to live for and I can't believe what I have done to my body and my mind.
I just want to cry because I feel so lost and afraid. My husband drinks too but not nearly what I had been doing to myself. My girls are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I want to be here and well for them.
Thanks for listening.
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Re: I'm new and scared

Postby Noels » Wed Jan 11, 2017 12:56 pm

Hi Lee and welcome to e-aa :D Thank you very much for reaching out.

I have now been sober since Christmas day, except this past Sunday I had two glasses of wine. I had started finally feeling more normal and thought I could handle it. Well now I have nausea, throwing up and lack of appetite all over again. It was pretty bad in the week after Christmas but I had started feeling better! Is this normal?? I am mostly worried that I have done permanant damage to my body and I will never feel well again. I have so much to live for and I can't believe what I have done to my body and my mind.

This is a good start. Pitty you had those two glasses on Sunday though. If you haven't you would officially have been 18 days sober. That is 3 weeks and the fog would have started to lift, your skin would already have had a healthy glow and you would have been so grateful to be alive without feeling sick or worried when you woke every morning. The terrible withdrawals would have almost been a thing of the past. But, not all's bad as you are officially 3 days sober and I congratulate you on your well earned sobriety! :D You are feeling crappy right now possibly because you're going through withdrawals again. However I'm not a professional and I know some members have advised in the past that they did receive medical assistance to make the withdrawals easier so why don't you pop in and see you doctor? Be honest and open with him and ask him for help. He can always do some checks to make sure your physical is okay and it will be very interesting for you to compare these results with ones six months down the line once all the alcohol have left your system. :)

Id also suggest you contact the AA helpline. I don't have the number as I reside in South Africa but I'm sure one of the Moderators will give it to you as soon as they've read your post. Then go to a meeting. That's how we all started. You don't need to be scared or embarrassed as everyone in the room have been where you are right now.

So put on something pretty, wipe your face and get to the doctor. Then an AA meeting. By the evening you'll already feel much better and more confident as you have found your path.

Good luck to you. Believe in yourself, do what AA suggest and you'll be fine.

Lotsa Love and Light
Mwah xxxx Noels
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Re: I'm new and scared

Postby Wiganman » Wed Jan 11, 2017 1:39 pm

LeeLondon wrote: I had started finally feeling more normal and thought I could handle it. Well now I have nausea, throwing up and lack of appetite all over again. It was pretty bad in the week after Christmas but I had started feeling better! Is this normal??


Hi Lee, thank you for posting. I can completely relate to what you said above. When I first started to stop drinking I would do a couple of weeks and start to feel unbelievably physically and mentally better. Then something would tell me it was safe for me to drink again. When I did drink again the physical and mental side-effects were very quickly returned, in fact they got worse each time. Then I would stop, quickly feel better then start again a short time after.

This cycle is very common among alcoholics and is we are powerless over alcohol - because our mind will take us back to a drink.

However, this cycle doesn't need to continue - I have broken it, there are people all over the world just like you and I that have broken this cycle.

I hope you can find a local AA meeting and find the solution.
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Re: I'm new and scared

Postby Lali » Wed Jan 11, 2017 2:24 pm

You are going through withdrawal and your symptoms are common with withdrawal. Drink LOTS of water to keep yourself hydrated. Eat things - like candy - that have sugar in them to replace the sugar you have lost since you stopped drinking. Like Noels, I think a visit to your doctor would be a good idea. They will often give a person in withdrawal a mild tranquilizer to help with withdrawal and ensure that they will not have seizures. I'm not trying to alarm you - many people safely detox at home without involving doctors. I just want you to know that seeing a doctor is an option that is often a better option than going it alone. And if you can't get an appointment with your doctor right away, another option is to go to the emergency room. They will very likely give you IV fluids and a mild tranquilizer type drug to eliminate the possibility of seizures.

Congrats on 3 days!
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Re: I'm new and scared

Postby Brock » Wed Jan 11, 2017 2:52 pm

Welcome here, and congratulations on your sobriety so far, and particularly on your decision to do something to rid yourself of the compulsion to drink, AA will do that and much more for you.

You have been given good advise by other members, however while I agree that a doctor visit is always a good idea, the dangerous stage would have worn off by now, and I don't want you worrying yourself unnecessarily. A couple drinks of wine last Sunday hardly make any difference, your body is pretty well alcohol free since Christmas, this chart from a respected source indicates the danger period has passed.

Alcohol withdrawal can be broken down into three stages:


Stage 1: Anxiety, insomnia, nausea, and abdominal pain characterize this stage, which begins 8 hours after the last drink.

Stage 2: High blood pressure, increased body temperature, unusual heart rate, and confusion come with this stage, which begins 24-72 hours after the last drink.

Stage 3: Hallucinations, fever, seizures, and agitation come with this stage, which tends to begin 72+ hours after the last drink.

All symptoms tend to decrease within 5-7 days.

Best of luck, AA is a friendly place to find help, you will never regret trying it.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: I'm new and scared

Postby Noels » Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:45 pm

Wow Brock thats good info. I'm going to remember that. Thanks for sharing.
Mwah xxx Noels
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Re: I'm new and scared

Postby positrac » Thu Jan 12, 2017 3:08 am

In the old days they used to give the detox patients orange juice to cover for the lack of sugar and to ease the shakes because of the withdrawals. I knew a copper out in California who was always drunk and yet no one knew it as he was functional. He had been in a blackout for about a week and did his job, arrested people ect. One day he drank a gallon of anti-freeze and walked in front of a semi truck. His mission wasn't over in life and I visited him in the detox and he was in a bad way for a while due to the amount of with drawing he had to endure. He was sober 15 years before he passed away about 10 years ago and he was a good guy with a lot of skills helping others.

Point is keep coming back and if necessary get medical attention to balance out the lack of hydration.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
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Re: I'm new and scared

Postby LeeLondon » Thu Jan 12, 2017 5:49 am

Thanks everyone for the kind words and support. I have now taken today and tomorrow off work so I have 4 more days at home with the weekend. The fatigue and nausea are just awful right now. I am feeling like such a terrible mom, I can barely take care of myself let alone my children!

I booked and appointment with my doctor. I couldn't get in until tomorrow. I have had ongoing health concerns the last two years since having my second child. I think a few tests might serve to put my mind at ease, or worse case, find something is wrong and we can move forward to get me better.

I don't know if I have it in me quite yet to attend a meeting. My husband doesn't realize that I feel my problem got as bad as it did. He is in denial that wighdrawal could be doing all this to me. I love him but I am afraid he has a problem with alcohol abuse too. He is very high functioning and quite successful running the family business. All the stress it puts on him, he feels he deserves to treat himself. I am frankly afraid for both of us. Our kids mean everything to me and I want us both to be healthy to watch them grow up.

Anyways, I got off point. I want to attend a meeting but I am so nervous. I know everyone would likely be welcoming and wonderful, but I am just not ready yet.
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Re: I'm new and scared

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu Jan 12, 2017 6:23 am

but I am just not ready yet.


The mind is the main problem of the alcoholic. Our book says it. This program, when followed thoroughly will help you overcome fear of people. Just like the 9th step promise says.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: I'm new and scared

Postby clouds » Thu Jan 12, 2017 8:31 am

Welcome Lee!
The turning point for me was getting to three meetings a week and finding a sponsor to guide me through the 12 steps.
I never lookedback, so to speak, and have found a life without alcohol and drugs that I didn't even know was possible for me.

Thankyou for keeping us updated on how you are feeling. Let us know how it goes with your doctor!
Regards
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: I'm new and scared

Postby Noels » Thu Jan 12, 2017 9:47 am

Hi Lee :D

Thanks everyone for the kind words and support. I have now taken today and tomorrow off work so I have 4 more days at home with the weekend. The fatigue and nausea are just awful right now.

That sounds good! Just remember you've gotten past the first week before not so long ago. It will pass. That's a definite. Try to eat and drink blandly at the moment. Small bits and pieces often during the day. Try normal bread without any toppings, black sweet tea, an apple if you can. White foods stayed down with me.

I am feeling like such a terrible mom, I can barely take care of myself let alone my children!

That's quite allright. Keep the goal in mind - they wont ever need to experience you drunk again. You are doing this for them as well as for yourself. Once you're on the road to recovery it will be all worth it and you wont ever need to feel like that again.

I booked and appointment with my doctor. I couldn't get in until tomorrow. I have had ongoing health concerns the last two years since having my second child. I think a few tests might serve to put my mind at ease, or worse case, find something is wrong and we can move forward to get me better.

Excellent! And remember to keep the results so you can have everything checked again once you've reached 6 months. It will be very interesting for you to see how your physical have improved :)

I don't know if I have it in me quite yet to attend a meeting. My husband doesn't realize that I feel my problem got as bad as it did. He is in denial that withdrawal could be doing all this to me. I love him but I am afraid he has a problem with alcohol abuse too. He is very high functioning and quite successful running the family business. All the stress it puts on him, he feels he deserves to treat himself. I am frankly afraid for both of us. Our kids mean everything to me and I want us both to be healthy to watch them grow up.

There are many ways to handle this right in the beginning so no pressure. You are already communicating with us here on e-aa which is a good start. When you feel the time is right - whether tonight or tomorrow after the doctor's visit have a chat with your hubby and explain to him exactly how YOU are feeling. Don't mention or pressure him about his drinking habits right now. Right now you need to take care of and think only of yourself - for yourself and for the little ones. I'm not sure how it works on your side of the world but contact the AA helpline and ask if there is someone who could call on you for a 12 step. That will be an alcoholic in recovery who have worked the 12 steps and have been sober for a while. If necessary hubby can sit in so he can also get more information on alcoholism and how it works. You will know best.

Just keep up the good work and push through. Once sober you will find what Avaneesh and Clouds said is true. We now enjoy a life that we never thought was possible while drinking.

Good luck, take care and let us know how it went at the doctor. Never give up. You are worth it.

Lotsa Love and Light,
Mwah xxx Noels
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Re: I'm new and scared

Postby LeeLondon » Sat Jan 14, 2017 8:00 am

Well I went to the doctor yesterday. He doesn't seem to think there's any long term damage. But he's sent me for blood testing to test my liver enzymes. Based on my physical, he is optimistic that if I stop drinking there will be no long term damage.
I am still feeling sick and just taking it day by day. I'm slowly starting to eat more and I'm able to play with my kids and enjoy time with them. That being said, the fatigue is still awful. I sleep probably 12 hours in every 24 still. Is this normal? And will I have energy eventually? It is frustrating. I need to get back to work and feel like I can function again. My husband needs me and so do my kids.
Thanks everyone for the support thus far. Feeling optimistic but exhausted. Lol
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Re: I'm new and scared

Postby Noels » Sat Jan 14, 2017 9:18 am

Hi Lee :D I never doubted for one minute that your results were going to be fine. I'm glad you went though as I'm sure your mind is more at ease. Well done so far gal! You're almost through it. And absolutely yes. It gets better and better and better the longer we remain alcohol free. For the moment just keep doing what you're doing - one day at a time. I will suggest that since you are feeling better you hit a meeting because it is now imperative to get actively involved - physically. Firstly so that you can understand what the the disease is all about and secondly, the other members energy at the meeting with lift you and you will begin to feel more energetic.

Well done, good luck and let us walk the journey with you k? :D

mwah xxx Noels
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Re: I'm new and scared

Postby Lali » Sat Jan 14, 2017 11:00 am

Don't fret too much about sleeping. Things will sort out with time. Funnily, most newly sober people come here and say they cannot sleep! Maybe vitamins will help with the fatigue.
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Re: I'm new and scared

Postby clouds » Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:23 am

Hi Lee,

Be sure to eat well, like as in plenty of fresh and good food now as you gain strength for sober life. :)
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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