Newbie

New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.

Re: Newbie

Postby positrac » Wed Nov 09, 2016 3:51 am

Here is the catch I fall under and it is called "instant gratification" See once I got sober and started living different my card was pulled and I had to now endure life on its terms completely. I had many bad days thinking I had been dun wrong and really I was just dealing with events in life like most of society.

Family in the program could be hard because of opinions and maybe they want things more than we/I want them.... My grandmother was one of my hero's and she'd call my hide down and never made light of recovery, AA and or sobriety. She died with over 55 years sobriety and was one of the pioneering women in the rooms when it was a mans club in the mid 1950's. Deal was we had distance and I needed to learn sobriety my way and not her way and we had this agreement.

Misery is optional, and it is and I had to learn a lot of lessons on how to find peace in this deal.

So my posts are suggestions and these are two fold because you have nothing to lose and much to gain if you stick with sobriety. In my early years I was angry that I was this alcoholic who hadn't experience life and yet now it was the best gift I could of received because I might not of made it had I not gotten sober back then.

Give yourself a break and re-evaluate some of the things going on and remember you keep going into the barber shop eventually you'll get a haircut.

be well
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
Hopi Proverb
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Re: Newbie

Postby Layne » Wed Nov 09, 2016 9:11 am

This is why people are turned off by AA. This is the example I've heard so much about. This holier-than-now attitude. That's very off-putting.

The people that get turned off by closed minded AA members, are victims of their own close mindedness. Basic case of pot calling the kettle black. It takes a holier-than-thou attitude to call someone else holier-than-thou.

When I first showed up at the doors of AA, I too was hindered by my own close minded thinking towards members and the program in general. As a result, I had to endure a few more years of active alcoholic hell. When I was finally beaten down enough by alcohol that my mind had no walls whatsoever around it, that is when I was finally capable of giving myself fully to this simple program and my recovery could start.

Today I still encounter members of AA who could be deemed as being close minded, but I value their presence. They aid me in my efforts to never ever erect walls around my mind again.
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Re: Newbie

Postby CaliJohn » Wed Nov 09, 2016 3:56 pm

Layne wrote:The people that get turned off by closed minded AA members, are victims of their own close mindedness. Basic case of pot calling the kettle black. It takes a holier-than-thou attitude to call someone else holier-than-thou


LOL... I can see your point. I do not come from a holier-than-thou spot, closed minded. But again, I see your point. Problem with any online/typed communication is that voice inflection is missing. I try to impart some via emoji's, etc... but it still doesn't always translate.

When people bash AA to me, it's like water on a ducks back. I know there's water, but don't care. AA works for many, not all. And I get that. Like I said, my Dad is a proponent, and as I stated at the onset, I'm neither for or against. Brock's comments didn't change my mind.

Anyways, thanks for the welcome. I appreciate it. Hope to chat further with ya'll throughout the various threads.

John
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Re: Newbie

Postby Duke » Wed Nov 09, 2016 4:15 pm

You sound pretty healthy to me John. Welcome. Hope to see more of you.

I've been sober quite a while, and the meetings and other contact I have helps me stay on a spiritual path on a daily basis. But then again, I was a pretty desolate soul when I got here. It's impossible for me to say what someone with a healthier emotional base needs to stay balanced. I can only say what I need.

Good luck to you my new friend.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa
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Re: Newbie

Postby CaliJohn » Wed Nov 09, 2016 4:51 pm

@Duke

Thanks for the warm welcome.
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Re: Newbie

Postby Lali » Wed Nov 09, 2016 6:39 pm

I agree with Brock that this is a fatal disease and must be taken seriously as a result. I have seen buried a few friends and many acquaintenances who thought they could do this thing the easier, softer way. (Just last week, a guy who was struggling shot himself in the head. Sad) For newcomers to get the message that this thing is easy, that's where it gets dangerous. When newcomers come in, we need to show them the solution as outlined in the book. To that end, we need to refer the newcomer to "How It Works" in the BB.

P.S. I'm the one who used the words "put off by" and those were probably not the best choice of words.
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