slowing drinkign but problems

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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby avaneesh912 » Sat Dec 03, 2016 12:11 pm

I limited myself at first to just sat night, then friday crept in.


For me it was Friday night a Pint of Beer. But I would so grudgingly wait for each Friday. Then slowly I would buy a beer to drink on the way back home. Drink the Pint at home like a good kid. But then when focus shifted to my daughter, it became Saturdays, Sundays too. And back to the old way on weekdays too. But I could relate to going all out on weekends and controlling during weekdays. But then all bets were off. My wife would come home with a look on her face. Here you go, plastered again!

End of my drinking career it was like what bill says. I would eat very little but consume more booze.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby Spirit Flower » Sat Dec 03, 2016 3:48 pm

allergies don't care what day of the week it is.
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby Layne » Sat Dec 03, 2016 6:43 pm

I can't but help laugh at myself as I sit here. I remember one of my great plans to control my drinking was to limit my consumption to 3 beers, because It was after the third beer that the funny feeling began to creep in. Up to that point everything was hunky dory, so just stick to 3 beers and no more, then no funny feeling, no problems...like all of the control ideas that my alcohol soaked brain came up with, this one also had fatal flaws and loopholes, just like all the others. The problem I encountered with this one was that the time period between the 3 beers and the next 3 beers, kept getting shorter and shorter until it was measured in seconds. :lol:
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby dave.smith » Mon Dec 05, 2016 2:24 pm

PaigeB wrote:
Have you been to a meeting yet?




what actually happens in a meeting? i think i should go, do something, not be like this now.




Its like, im so tired, all night so far, but i know its too early to goto bed, then im now waking up and i can hear my mind starting, its saying about why things didnt go my way in the day, or why this happened, or why that happened a few years ago. Then when i goto sleep its like ive just drank lots of coffee, its 4am and i finally sleep but im up at 5:30


So... these meetings again?
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby Brock » Mon Dec 05, 2016 3:36 pm

Dave the meetings really are not a big deal, you sit and listen and if the chairperson asks if you want to say anything you can just say no thanks if you wish, or give your name or say why you are there, anything it's all up to you. The people will be friendly and they may suggest you keep coming, and in AA we come or go as we please. Also the format and people vary from meeting to meeting, so trying more than one gives you a better idea of what it's about, and choice of type of meeting if you want to return.

At most meetings people give their drinking stories so others can identify, many of these you may find yourself thinking I never drank like that I don't belong here, but try not to, rather listen for similarities to your own Fridays and Saturdays. When I first went I drank everyday, but I heard people say they started at lunch and I didn't start until after work, so there was my excuse to leave, even though they told me it was a progressive disease. Then some years later I was drinking by lunchtime so went again, heard a fellow say he drank at breakfast time, another excuse and off I went. Well I too ended up where I couldn't face the day without drinking first thing in the morning, and I can't explain how much I wish I had stayed the first opportunity I had, try not to be the fool I was.

Still AA saved me and I am happier than ever before, and those thoughts about what happened in the past and the racing mind, the AA program took care of those as well. It's a marvelous program that requires a little effort on your part, and it's something you will never regret trying. Best of luck to you.
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby dave.smith » Mon Dec 05, 2016 4:09 pm

thanks brock


here is today, not a bad day at work,, but you know a day at work! happens to be my birthday too. come home had food live with my mother and brother, all was ok.

fell asleep 5-6 times today, eyes going know its because i drank at the weekend, and its was like a fair amount, and i enjoyed it... enjoyed it but didnt...


so i can feel the mind going as im waking up, and thought birthday excuse, ive drank some wine.



"only" a bottle of red, but , im listening to tori amos, and its like, ive not been able to listen to music for a while, i either get plastered too fast, or cant listen as things are racing..


i should be in bed now, and ive started a glass of cider.

I know, i should goto a meeting. I feel bad as some of the reasons i get drunk arnt just drinking, its for another thing, too. Ive always well... done something else that i am not comfortable talking about but produces no harm to anyone else... Some other thing that also makes me feel kinda safe...



i shall sleep hopefully soundly tonight, and think tomorrow...


thankyou for the reponce....
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby Lali » Mon Dec 05, 2016 8:50 pm

Hi, Dave. Brock said pretty much what I would have said about meetings. I think your attending a meeting (or 2 or 3) is a good idea - If what you have been doing isn't working for you, it's time to try something new. And its just one hour (generally) out of your life. As I like to say, nothing changes if nothing changes.

There is no pressure to speak. They might ask if there are any newcomers and you could raise your hand and give your first name only. Or you can say nothing.

Most people report that their sleep problems go away once they begin working the steps. Those racing thoughts go away and are replaced by peaceful feelings.

Why not go, come back and tell us about your experience!
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby dave.smith » Fri Dec 09, 2016 5:56 pm

right here is me talking now,

i probably have one of the best bmw road rallys cars in england atm, my car lives at where i work. I can see the car sat mornings, and there is when for maybe 4-5 hours slot i can get to work on it.


when i was drinking week days, i could come to work and be unhappy and sober up? i wasnt over the DD limit probably? but it was known at 6am id be in work, id not be a friendly guy.

then when i stopped drinking i am happy in the mornings... now its got to a point where im stuggling to sleep ..

point is, since the wedding period??? of not drinking has happened, and its a friday /satnight thing, ive not done the car, i choose my drink, and i will be hammered tomorrow night.

so my drinking has gone from a lot average to a major peek at the weekends


i dotn drink in the mornings, i dont drink in the afternoons...


i must be missing something from life, i dont want kids... id like a Gf, but what would she get out of me in return? with drink a pleb, with a rally enthusiast.. how much fun!


why cant i just learn? i mean, if you just want to reproduce, so go on, i like the idea, but why not learn something? do something? drink does you no favours. how can i move on from this and learn things? Id like to know C++ or how the arduino works, but drink... its your best anquor.
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby Brock » Sat Dec 10, 2016 6:24 am

Probably all of us here lost interest in one thing or another, choosing drinking over working at your hobby which happens to be a fine rally car speaks for itself, but others have made even worse choices, families, businesses, and even lives are lost, because some of us choose booze instead.

Alcoholics usually have emotional problems, as do many other people in modern society. Drinking makes these impossible to face and correct, we use the drink to try to hide them instead. And whether you are alcoholic or not, emotionally your life doesn’t seem to be on the track you would like it to be. So first we get the drink out of the way, and some people believe that's all AA does, stops us wanting to drink. Those who realize that the program can straighten out our emotional problems as well are the winners.

But AA meetings are not the place to find answers to life's little problems and questions, although some people seem to think so, and speak in meetings of things which AA members are unqualified to answer, things that are best left to a professional therapist. I believe you should consider speaking to someone about these questions regarding lack of direction in your life, it is no embarrassment in modern society to do so. As a younger man I messed up opportunities while spending seven years of life “studying” in England, I studied one thing after another and kept changing my mind, never fully qualifying in anything. I too didn't know what I wanted, and wish I had spoken to someone like a therapist, who could have helped me determine my best course of action.

So your first task is to kick the thought and urge to drink, AA does a great job of that, and also opens our eyes to solutions to some emotional problems. But if the direction your life should take doesn’t become clear, consider speaking to a person who can help with that, best of luck for a happy outcome.
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby Mike O » Sun Dec 11, 2016 6:53 am

Nice reply, Brock.

I think that A.A. removes the desire to drink by helping us to remove any emotional baggage we've built up over our lives.

My own personal experience is that once this was cleared out, using the 12 steps, my direction in life became clearer. It wasn't a miraculous revelation or anything like that. My head became clearer and allowed me to think straight for the first time in years.
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby dave.smith » Sun Dec 11, 2016 12:43 pm

thanks for the replies again.

the 12 steps, ive googled for them, and ive noticed a god type theme to this... I dont believe in god so the 12 step program wont work for me.
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby PaigeB » Sun Dec 11, 2016 2:30 pm

dave.smith wrote:thanks for the replies again.

the 12 steps, ive googled for them, and ive noticed a god type theme to this... I dont believe in god so the 12 step program wont work for me.

I tried that line and it didn't work. I am an tried and true, firm Atheist. Still am even after taking all the Steps with a sponsor. But I sure as hell aint the Boss and I am glad of that. This world is an F'd up place! I am the Boss of Me... And I can chose to change a few things or change nothing.

"If you do what you always did, you'll get what you always got!"

SO google semantics... Do a full 3 week case study on that... practice that. Words mean different things to different people. NONE of us can define "god"... it is DOG spelled backwards and if we can love like a dog loves... but mine is more than that - it is just not an interactive entity bowing to your every prayer. Google and do a case study on meditation... You can stay sober long enough to complete those studies? Keep doing what you do to stay sober today and add a little more tomorrow.

So don't quitman. Stick around AA long enough to give your liver a break (3 months? 6?) and talk over those 12 steps with a sponsor that will take you through them whether you believe in a traditional HP or not.

You can find some atheist groups at our Online Intergroup!
http://aa-intergroup.org/directory.php

Sorry: I did not edit your post. I meant to hit quote.
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby Blue Moon » Tue Dec 13, 2016 6:05 pm

dave.smith wrote:the 12 steps, ive googled for them, and ive noticed a god type theme to this... I dont believe in god so the 12 step program wont work for me.


I didn't get better until the hell of untreated alcoholism surpassed my prejudice. Since then, you would not believe the number of people I've seen in AA who won't get sober until they get off their knees.
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby Noels » Tue Dec 13, 2016 11:43 pm

Good morning Dave. This is a piece I shared on another post and funny enough, it came up again last night in a meeting as well. The bottom line is that God /Creator do not insist on being called by any specific name neither does He /She /It insist on having any particular form. Creator is simply 'I ... Am' and any word you add to that reflects and bring about your personal preference and choice.
'I ... Am' knows exactly what /who It is so we are the idiots making it difficult for ourselves. Good luck and God Bless. ..


When my spiritual journey just started there was so much confusion and agony. I came in from past lives (backdoor), the spiritual people who was around at that time either charged an arm and a leg for a consultation or insisted I find the answer myself.
So one day as I was driving I was desperately asking …. Who ARE You??????? and as I was slowing down whilst approaching a red robot I heard “ I …. AM ….”

Just those words. “ I …. AM …..”

Looking back at those words it explains everything to me. It tells me that God (as we know the word) doesn’t insist on being called anything specific. I can take those words “ I …. AM ….” And attach to it whatever I like to ….. I am God, I am Creator, I am Love, I am Hate, I am Life, I am Death, I am Positive, I am Negative, I am Light, I am Darkness, I am Everything, I am Nothing, I am Health, I am Sickness, I am joy, I am Pain, I am You, I am Her, I am Him, I am Them …. And it will cover whatever i wish it to cover.

“I …. AM …..” also indicates to me that God (the word I choose to attach) knows exactly who / what / it is so its not God who is confused but us.

Having said all the above I must say for me personally – The “ I …. AM …” is part of me as I am part of it. “I … AM …” is my blood, my breath, my thoughts, my speech, my actions, …. Me …. So separating myself from “ I … AM ….” Is absolutely impossible and not negotiable so the best I can do for those who are offended when I mention “ I …. AM ….” I can only hand over to my “ I ….. AM ….” And believe that whatever happens on that person’s path will be as it should be.

Denying "I ... AM ..." will be denying myself and my existence. May “I … AM …” be with everyone reading this post today and every day hereafter.

Lotsa Love and Light
There is only Love
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby tomsteve » Wed Dec 14, 2016 10:29 am

dave.smith wrote:thanks for the replies again.

the 12 steps, ive googled for them, and ive noticed a god type theme to this... I dont believe in god so the 12 step program wont work for me.


I hope that you decide to investigate a little more to learn EXACTLY what THE program of AA is, which the big book is where its at.
I say that because ive heard and read of MANY people who said pretty much the same and stayed drunk for a long time. then, in desperation, learned exactly what THE program says and said something to the effect," if I would have looked into it instead of jumping to conclusions without finding out what THE program meant, I just might have saved myself years of added misery."
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