slowing drinkign but problems

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slowing drinkign but problems

Postby dave.smith » Wed Nov 02, 2016 3:31 pm

Hi

ive been drinking for years, started with a bottle of wine a night and and more at the weekends. The last time i drank properly, i drank cranberry vodka 1/2 bottle, and some cider, maybe 5 pints and I think there may have been some red wine in there too. I dirnk at home, and rarely go out anymore apart from work which im never late for.

Im 38 years old now, 22 stone, was suffering from sleep apnia. My friend told me to cut down on drinking, and drink one night a week. As ive drank more nights that i havnt in my life, i thought it would be hard, but after going to the doctors and the doctor telling me she had cancer and wished she was in my position, ive cut down.

I now dont want to drink in the week, im not feeling that i need to, but im getting extremely bored now. So, for the last 8 weeks ive drank on a sat night, and last 4 weeks friday night too..

Firday will be a bottle of red wine, and maybe 1 pint of cider.

Saturday ngiht will be 1 bottle of red, 3 pints of cider or maybe more, and about 2 am ill eat a curry i bought earlier.

The cider btw, isnt white, its the organic westons stuff, its 6%

I dont know if i m still drinking far too much, i think probably i am, but the biggest problem is sleeping as im sure you have heard this question before.

Im tossing and turning, mind is unravelling the days events, and it seems to be harder to sleep. I feel better however than when i was drinking. So is this because im still drinking some, or is it because of soemthing else? I dont drink coffee after 5pm, sleep at 11. At first when i slowed it down i was tired all the time. Now its really depressing that i cant jsut goto sleep...


thanks for listening.
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby Duke » Wed Nov 02, 2016 7:41 pm

Hi Dave and welcome. I hope you'll look around and read some of the other posts. I don't have an answer for you. I know for me, all efforts to deal with my alcoholism by managing my drinking were unsuccessful. Sooner or later I was always back abusing it.

We're here to support those that have a desire to stop drinking and we help by sharing our experience with working the program of alcoholics anonymous. If we can help you with that, let us know.

Good luck to you.
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby PaigeB » Thu Nov 03, 2016 12:06 pm

When I was still drinking, my problems piled up and I began to believe that they were insurmountable. Then I went to AA and I found relief in those rooms. I still had problems, but I saw them in a new light and found that I could probably handle them - my new friends would support me.

And so they have. I haven't found it necessary to drink in over 7 years. Lot of crappola has happened and I did not feel the need to drink. Keep coming back. If I can do it, you can do it too!
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby clouds » Fri Nov 04, 2016 12:05 am

Hi Dave, glad you found us.

My experince was that I finally came to the conclusion that complete abstinance from alcohol was the answer for my drinking problem. I saw that I could get a couple of sober months in, but inevitably that would end in my return to drinking and a binge would be an even worse outcome for me and those around me each time.

I had been a daily drinker for years but when I made an honest effort to stop alltogether, I found I couldn't. So, knowing AA was the place to go, I went to some meetings, bought the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous', learned more about what alcoholism is and have been living sober for many years now. Its a better way of living than I ever knew before. Following the program of action outlined in the book solved most of my problems. I found that once my life was cleared of drinking, things fell into place, and the other things could be worked out with the help of AA.

You may find that going to some AA meetings and hearing more about alcoholism can help you too.
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby Lali » Fri Nov 04, 2016 2:39 pm

clouds wrote:You may find that going to some AA meetings and hearing more about alcoholism can help you too.


In the meantime, you can read the book Alcoholics Anonymous online for free. Simply google "Alcoholics Anonymous Fourth Edition". The Doctor's Opinion is a good place to start. It explains alcoholism very well. Chapters 2 and 3 ("There is a Solution" and "More About Alcoholism") are especially helpful to the newcomer as well. Pages 1 through 164 are our basic test and the remainder of the book are stories from recovered alcoholics.

BTW, we don't diagnose people as alcoholics. That is for each individual to decide for themselves.
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby Sober_RI » Sun Nov 06, 2016 11:15 am

Lali wrote:
clouds wrote:You may find that going to some AA meetings and hearing more about alcoholism can help you too.


In the meantime, you can read the book Alcoholics Anonymous online for free. Simply google "Alcoholics Anonymous Fourth Edition". The Doctor's Opinion is a good place to start. It explains alcoholism very well. Chapters 2 and 3 ("There is a Solution" and "More About Alcoholism") are especially helpful to the newcomer as well. Pages 1 through 164 are our basic test and the remainder of the book are stories from recovered alcoholics.

BTW, we don't diagnose people as alcoholics. That is for each individual to decide for themselves.



I agree that it may help to learn more about alcoholism, you can also go to aa.org to read their pamphlets and help you decide if AA is for you. Whatever you decide, it's probably a good idea to follow up with your doctor about your health issues.
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby dave.smith » Mon Nov 07, 2016 11:51 am

thanks for all the comments. Ill give the book a read.

Think ive been deigning myself a future , and just drinking. I think i know why i started , but kept on going with it. Its time to stop. I was going to just drink friday and saturdays, but its killing my spare time off, and it makes me feel bad. What seemed good fun years ago,, it isnt its time to stop and kinda grow up.


thanks again for the comments ill read the book.
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby positrac » Tue Nov 08, 2016 3:18 am

Desire to stop drinking is the only requirement for membership to AA.
The rest is on your shoulders on when you put action into that desire to stop drinking.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby Tosh » Tue Nov 08, 2016 5:53 am

dave.smith wrote:thanks for all the comments. Ill give the book a read.

Think ive been deigning myself a future , and just drinking. I think i know why i started , but kept on going with it. Its time to stop. I was going to just drink friday and saturdays, but its killing my spare time off, and it makes me feel bad. What seemed good fun years ago,, it isnt its time to stop and kinda grow up.


thanks again for the comments ill read the book.


Hi Dave, the problems with alcoholics isn't really the booze. Sounds funny right? The real problem happens when we're stone cold sober. When we're sober, we're restless, irritable and discontented. Boredom and anxiety are common symptoms. Basically we're not happy when we're sober.

And even when we make a decision never to drink again - these SOBER FEELINGS - trick our minds into taking a drink, and once we start drinking we find it difficult to moderate or stop drinking.

And this sets up a cycle of drinking, getting drunk, and drinking again.

But the drinking isn't the real problem, the real problem is the way we are - the way we think and feel - when we're stone cold sober.

In fact you could say that we use drinking as our solution to the sober problem.

I couldn't sleep when I stopped drinking too. Going to bed sober used to frighten me, like I'm going to have to put up with my head - all by myself - in the dark with no distractions. AAAAAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggg!!!! :lol:

Anyway, welcome to the forum from a fellow Brit (I'm a Geordie living in South Wales).

Regards

Tosh
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby CaliJohn » Tue Nov 08, 2016 2:37 pm

Hi there.

You might try meditation to help quiet your mind when you're trying to sleep. It takes some practice, but it really can help calm things in one's head. There are some good Guided Meditation apps you might try to get you started.
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby dave.smith » Thu Nov 10, 2016 12:20 pm

calijohn, thanks i may try meditation, i need to try something


Tosh, thankyou very much for those words, I think your 100% right, and i hadnt looked at it like that before. Its not that i really want to drink its more that i want to get away from what is happening.

The older i get the more i reolise how wrong ive been about things in my life. I have one go, and people will try to make it harder for you, harder why? because it makes them feel better, it fills the cracks that they have in their sorry existance. Making you feel bad, screwing things up for you makes them feel better.

Threw out the whole of my life, ive seen this. Now only in the last few days ive worked out why i dont seem to get on with people at work, why my parents and relatives dont seem to get on, why everything just seems to be such a mess. So it suits lots of people that instead of doing things, i drink, instead of having a clear head at work people try to put me down and i want to drink where the problems of being sober arnt.


I can rant rant rant, but i should choose to get on with my life and sort myself out. But still atm, ive been drinking friday and sat nights. I shouldnt? i feel good, i feel like its the only time #i can be me, # the only time i can hide, #only time i can wish things went away.


I think its anxiety i have now, dosnt help that sometimes in work i smoke, maybe 3-4 a week but im sure that has something to dow ith sleep too..


At 27 years of age, Louise Rossman is an Apple Laptop logic board repair engeneer, started his own business, and posts youtube vids on what he does, now has a massive following. Some vids he does are rants. Im going to listen to This Video again shortly, this explains a lot of why i cant sleep atm... It makes me understand for the first time.

Im single and i live with my mother btw, my older brother is here too, im 38, i dont even know what stress is really!...


thanks everyone for reading and thanks i think ill be a on here much more...


Tosh wrote:
Hi Dave, the problems with alcoholics isn't really the booze. Sounds funny right? The real problem happens when we're stone cold sober. When we're sober, we're restless, irritable and discontented. Boredom and anxiety are common symptoms. Basically we're not happy when we're sober.

And even when we make a decision never to drink again - these SOBER FEELINGS - trick our minds into taking a drink, and once we start drinking we find it difficult to moderate or stop drinking.

And this sets up a cycle of drinking, getting drunk, and drinking again.

But the drinking isn't the real problem, the real problem is the way we are - the way we think and feel - when we're stone cold sober.

In fact you could say that we use drinking as our solution to the sober problem.

I couldn't sleep when I stopped drinking too. Going to bed sober used to frighten me, like I'm going to have to put up with my head - all by myself - in the dark with no distractions. AAAAAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggg!!!! :lol:

Anyway, welcome to the forum from a fellow Brit (I'm a Geordie living in South Wales).

Regards

Tosh

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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby Roberth » Thu Nov 10, 2016 12:52 pm

Hello Dave, sorry to say AA doesn't teach us how to control our drinking, it teaching us how to live life free from alcohol. I heard of some type of program the limits a persons drinking but for me once I have a drink it triggers a craving and I loose control of my alcohol consumption. I never know if I just drink a couple of beers or my usual, drink until I passed out......
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby dave.smith » Sat Dec 03, 2016 10:02 am

yes thats the problem im now finding.


I limited myself at first to just sat night, then friday crept in. I sometimes go into work to do my other car as it lives there and when given the choice now of working on it or drinking, im drinking.

So last night, drank 3/4 bottle of red wine, and that started it off big time, drank some home brewed stout, maybe a pint or so then 3 ltrs of 6% cider. I went to bed around 3am i think, i had a curry i had bought eaerlier, then i woke today at 14:15 i couldnt believe the time.


But the thing is i know its saturday night now and ill do the same thing. So the stopping drinking in the week works, but the weekends are proper now, all out.

Im kidna confused as i feel like i need some release from life at times, but this is kinda uncontrollable ...
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby PaigeB » Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:10 am

Doing the footwork of the program was one of the earliest releases I had. Going to meetings took 1 hour of my time (plus to & from) where I felt really good. I started to see that feeling lasted longer and left me more effective in my life than drinking ever did.

Have you been to a meeting yet?
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: slowing drinkign but problems

Postby PuppyEars » Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:42 am

Glad you came back for an update Dave. Keep sharing, we are listening.

I can identify with coming unglued on the weekends. When it came to reasons to get loaded, I had a million of 'em up my sleeve. "Such a hard and stressful week, I deserve a reward for tolerating so much crap." The problems piled up when I lost the power to put the brakes on rewarding myself.
I guess the first question I'd ask is are you content and happy with your drinking career? You might be okay with just drinking on the weekends, who really knows? Do you have a desire to never drink again?

Thanks for sharing your experience.
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