After years of reading forums I joined one

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After years of reading forums I joined one

Postby SiRTWiStEdX » Thu Oct 20, 2016 8:49 pm

My names Luke.. I am struggling passing my first 36 hours of sobriety in the 5 years and have been drinking heavily for 15... I'm 29 now and have lost everything.. I can't even enjoy the drink anymore the constant withdrawals and sickness are too much and I notice my body falling apart more day by day.. I once went to AA when I was 19 and was discouraged by a man saying he could only relate with real drunks .. That I was just young.. Well look at me now :/ The withdrawals are pretty severe .. I spent the last two years getting off phyche meds and now I'm having to have more fun with withdrawals and pain.. Any tips on trying to feel somewhat hydrated and help my body ? I have drank a gallon of water and 3 pedilyites and I'm still so dehydrated.. I almost went to the store again just to drown my self another night .. But here I lay shaking.. Messaging out for once .. And grinding my teeth through this all.
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Re: After years of reading forums I joined one

Postby Spirit Flower » Fri Oct 21, 2016 2:04 am

Welcome Luke. I don't have detox info; but I have sat in AA meetings and held the hand of someone who was shaking. I was 26 when I got sober. I recommend giving AA meetings another try. Maybe go to a different one than the last.

You can read our book online for free here: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous
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Re: After years of reading forums I joined one

Postby Chelle » Fri Oct 21, 2016 4:48 am

Hi Luke and welcome to e aa. Good job on the 36 hours. I can relate to what you are going through. Getting off the alcohol was a painful experience but one that I hope to never forget so thanks for the reminder. Lots of water, healthy food and just feeling like yuck for a little bit was the deal for me, and my sleep was messed up for a little while too. I'm not a doctor, so I don't know if a medical detox is needed for you, but possibly?

My biggest problem was staying away from it when I started feeling better. That's when I joined AA. I attended alot of meetings and just listened. Almost everyone knew how bad I was feeling and they understood like no other. I started reading the big book of alcoholics anonymous and asked someone to take me through the 12 steps. As the fog lifted and my body started feeling better my head started getting straightened out too. I knew that I would never have to feel the way you are feeling ever again if I did what they said. Today I have no desire to pick up a drink.

I'm glad you are here. More alcohol will only prolong the agony and deter the progress you have made. Keep coming back
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Re: After years of reading forums I joined one

Postby Brock » Fri Oct 21, 2016 5:06 am

Welcome Luke. No it's not easy with those shakes, I have put myself through that a few times over the years, and then ended up just staying sober for a couple of weeks. Once for a year because I had a good reason to motivate me, but I was as unhappy as hell until I finally accepted the solution AA offered. Drinking and eating sweet things seems to lessen the craving at first, some may use a doctor prescribed sedative, but then you have a history with medication that would make you careful with that option. We seem to get over the really bad feelings in about three days and start eating and feeling 'normal' again, but normal for an alcoholic is not usually a fun way to live, and that's why we have a problem with staying stopped.

My experience with AA was the opposite of yours, it was me that said I didn't relate to what the others were saying, I felt they were really bad off and used it as an excuse because I wasn’t that bad. That was maybe thirty years ago and again about fifteen years ago, but I went because I was trying to please other people, and was always looking for an excuse for why AA wouldn't work for me. Finally I had a story to make others cringe, and had lost just about everything, of course I wish I had accepted the solution the first opportunity I had.

One of the hard parts I find in speaking about this program, is convincing others that we are not fooling, when we say the release from craving is complete, the book says the problem no longer exists for us, and that is the truth. And when they speak of a life of serenity that is no lie either, very cool life, better than I ever thought possible, and those steps are not as hard to do as they first appear on paper.

Like Spirit Flower I also recommend another try with a few different AA meetings, if you find one you particularly relate better to, then make it your 'home group.' The book you got a link to is not very easy at first to understand, in certain parts you will do better having others explain how they did it, but sections like 'The Doctors Opinion,' and 'More About Alcoholism,' and also the various stories are quite straight forward.

Try your best, those shakes and crappy feelings will pass soon enough, ask any questions you have here and in meetings, you will find all alcoholics very happy to help, best of luck.
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Re: After years of reading forums I joined one

Postby clouds » Fri Oct 21, 2016 9:56 am

Hi Luke! Welcome, so glad you found us. :)

By the time I realized I was powerless over alcohol I knew also that I needed help to stop drinking and also help to stay stopped.

Meetings is where you find people who have done it. At my first few meetings I found out that other alcoholics drank like me regardless of age or other status, I could hear how they had the same problem I did with the drinking.
So it seemed like a good thing that there was this program of action that I could take outlined in the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous'. I went to step meetings where people discussed how they did the steps and later my sponsor showed me exactly how to do them. This worked for me. I hope you will find the same solution that many others of us have.

Sorry you got some bad advice at your first meeting, this time, just take what you can use to stay sober and keep your distance from those people who you feel uncomfortable with! :)
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: After years of reading forums I joined one

Postby positrac » Fri Oct 21, 2016 10:03 am

Luke, welcome and I honestly believe you are in the right place.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
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Re: After years of reading forums I joined one

Postby Lali » Fri Oct 21, 2016 10:30 am

SiRTWiStEdX wrote:My names Luke.. I am struggling passing my first 36 hours of sobriety in the 5 years and have been drinking heavily for 15... I'm 29 now and have lost everything.. I can't even enjoy the drink anymore the constant withdrawals and sickness are too much and I notice my body falling apart more day by day.. I once went to AA when I was 19 and was discouraged by a man saying he could only relate with real drunks .. That I was just young.. Well look at me now :/ The withdrawals are pretty severe .. I spent the last two years getting off phyche meds and now I'm having to have more fun with withdrawals and pain.. Any tips on trying to feel somewhat hydrated and help my body ? I have drank a gallon of water and 3 pedilyites and I'm still so dehydrated.. I almost went to the store again just to drown my self another night .. But here I lay shaking.. Messaging out for once .. And grinding my teeth through this all.


That you are drinking lots of water is great. However, you may want to visit your doctor and let him know what you are doing. Detox can be very dangerous. Sometimes a few days of a mild sedative can help in this regard - can help you to avoid seizures. (I know this because I tried detoxing on my own a few times myself and did it with the assistance of a doctor a few times). You have already gone 36 bad hours of detox; I would hate to see you blow that because you can no longer stand the side effects of withdrawal! Hang in there and know that we are all here to help you! And I think its safe to say that many if not most of us have gone through rough withdrawal symptoms.
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Re: After years of reading forums I joined one

Postby SiRTWiStEdX » Fri Oct 21, 2016 11:13 am

Thank you all for the responses .. I've managed to stay on the right path.. Today is a nightmare I've had two coworkers come up to me saying I look strung out and higher end bosses that have ignited the anxiety and fear and panic I forgot I had such a hard time dealing with.. I think medicated detox is out of the question for me as the last bit of medicine I had to quit was taking 7+MG of Xanax multiple times a day and adding Valium and alcohol on top of it all.. Best if I stick it out and deal with it. I think I'll try and locate a meeting tonight because every inch of my body and the booze demon in my head are all telling me to get a case and a pint of fireball to feel better.. I appreciate the talk and stories .. I'm alone right now and just have my own will power to rely on. The shakes haven't gone away I can't even hold s piece of paper without looking like something is very wrong. Going to try and eat a salad and and some chicken and attempt to stay away from people for the rest of the day .. Hopefully after this weekend my body and mind will calm down a little I hope ..
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Re: After years of reading forums I joined one

Postby Tosh » Fri Oct 21, 2016 1:44 pm

Hi Luke, they say when you're in Hell, keep moving, mate. Keep moving and you'll get out of there. I found going to meetings, listening to speaker tapes (XA Speakers dot com), and using this forum was a great help in the early days.

I'd also do something called 'delaying the first drink'. When gripped with an overwhelming desire to dash out of the front door and head for where they sold booze, I'd tell myself I could, but first I'd have to listen to a speaker tape. And I'd listen to one, and somewhere along the way I'd calm down and not head out and get booze.

I also went to a lot of meetings; they helped; often I'd just lose myself in someone else's share. It gave me a break from the way I was thinking and feeling.

The bottom line is, do whatever it takes to stay sober; the attitude is that we 'go to any lengths'.

Ultimately, in A.A., we recover by doing the 12 Steps, but I think it's fair for you to stop shaking first.

Maybe. :lol:

I'm rooting for you, mate.

Regards

Tosh, an alkie in the UK
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: After years of reading forums I joined one

Postby ezdzit247 » Tue Oct 25, 2016 3:07 pm

Hi Luke. My name is Mary and I'm an alcoholic too.

I first sought AA's help with my drinking problem when I was about 29 as well but I bounced in and out of meetings for about 2 years after that mainly because I just could not accept that I was "powerless over alcohol". When I finally did surrender to being powerless, I discovered AA's 24 hour plan for keeping away from that first drink and it worked real well for me. There's a description of how the plan works in an AA pamphlet entitled: "This is A.A.... an introduction to theA.A. recovery program". You can read it online by clicking on this link:

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-1_thisisaa1.pdf.

Here's an excerpt from the pamphlet on AA's 24-hour plan also known as the One Day At A Time plan or ODATT.

"....For example, we take no pledges, we don’t say
that we will “never” drink again. Instead, we try
to follow what we in A.A. call the “24-hour plan.”
We concentrate on keeping sober just the cur-
rent twenty-four hours. We simply try to get
through one day at a time without a drink. If we
feel the urge for a drink, we neither yield nor
resist. We merely put off taking that particular
drink until tomorrow…."


Fortunately for me, Young People's AA meetings were just beginning to proliferate in my area and I made one of them my home group. Here's a directory for Young People's AA meetings in different US states and other parts of the world. I really recommend that you try to attend a YPAA meeting in your area. Lots of good positive energy to connect with and you can be fairly sure that no one in a YPAA meeting will ever tell you are too young to be an alcoholic.... :D

http://www.ypaa.info/meetings.php.

Keep coming back....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: After years of reading forums I joined one

Postby PaigeB » Wed Oct 26, 2016 10:35 am

We simply try to get
through one day at a time without a drink. If we
feel the urge for a drink, we neither yield nor
resist

I learned that we cannot stop there, in that crisis moment. I found that I had to fill that spot of "don't drink, don't fight it" with the tools of the AA program. I would make a phone call, go to a meeting, get here to the e-aa Forums or an online meeting, or find a way to be of service - even if that meant washing the dishes at midnight! Whatever it took! Stuff that I still use today in times of great stress.

"Whatever it took" also included finding a power greater than myself which I was able to do thanks to this program and its people. I got a sponsor and began reading the first 164 pages with her (+ The Dr.'s Opinion). I worked the 12 Steps and I had lots of small spiritual awakenings and at some point early on I was able to say, "Huh! I can't remember the last time I thought about drinking!" Luckily I was on my way to a meeting because that was a pretty scary thought!

Keep coming back. A lot of what we say might not make a lot of sense, but I hope you find what I found. Serenity. Freedom. The Ability to Cope with life on life's terms. Faith that I won't die if I am honest about who I really am. And a lot more than that too!
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: After years of reading forums I joined one

Postby ezdzit247 » Thu Oct 27, 2016 2:15 pm

... I'm alone right now and just have my own will power to rely on. The shakes haven't gone away I can't even hold s piece of paper without looking like something is very wrong. Going to try and eat a salad and and some chicken and attempt to stay away from people for the rest of the day .. Hopefully after this weekend my body and mind will calm down a little I hope ...


How's it going, Luke?

Hope you found some good AA meetings to attend in your area and you're feeling better these days. Please let us know if you have any questions or concerns we might be able to help with and we will try to share our ESH. The first few days of detox can be really gnarly for some of us alkies but it does get easier for most of us after we get through this first phase of recovery. Hang in there and keep coming back....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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