I'm Scared to Attend AA for the first time... should I be?

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I'm Scared to Attend AA for the first time... should I be?

Postby valeriecruz » Mon Oct 10, 2016 2:34 am

Hello everyone,
for the sake of this forum let's say my name is Valerie. I've been an alcoholic for 14 years and every time I stop I end up making a mess of things. I've truly been at the bottom of the barrel this year and I want to quit and begin my road to recovery. I could use some help and support but I'm worried about being judged. What can I do? How can I trust people I've never met!
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Re: I'm Scared to Attend AA for the first time... should I b

Postby Spirit Flower » Mon Oct 10, 2016 4:05 am

Hi Val,

Welcome to e_AA.

The people in the meetings are ex-drunks, just like you, who have found a solution to the drink problem (and many other of life's problems). Most of us are trustworthy; a higher percentage than in the general population for sure.

You can read our book for free here: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous
...a score card reading zero...
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Re: I'm Scared to Attend AA for the first time... should I b

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Oct 10, 2016 5:04 am

How can I trust people I've never met!


Good question. I also reached the end of the fork and exactly like the book says, I had to make a decision, stay doomed or seek help. Luckily I chose the latter. You will see the people in AA are the most honest people. Like any other organizations there are bad apples. Take that leap, your higher power will lead you in the right direction. There will always be temporary hurdles but I assure you, you will come out good. Find a compatible person who can guide you through the 12 steps.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: I'm Scared to Attend AA for the first time... should I b

Postby Hanna » Mon Oct 10, 2016 5:07 am

valeriecruz wrote:I could use some help and support but I'm worried about being judged. What can I do? How can I trust people I've never met!


Hi Valerie,
Each of us was once where you are now, we don't judge, we understand.
Tell us about yourself, if you feel comfortable. We are here to help each by sharing our experience, our strength,and our hope. 4 1/2 yrs ago I thought I was hopeless, I tried so many times to stop drinking but failed. Until I woke up one day and realized I couldn't keep drinking yet I couldn't stop. I was lost and hopeless, I didn't know what to do, and somehow that day I found this site. I told the people here how I was feeling and they responded with kindness, hope, and encouragement. They helped me through my first sober days (daze, more like it). You can do this too, let the kind people of AA help. It's amazing how it works, I never thought I would be able to get sober let alone remain sober, but I did, One Day at a Time, One Step at a Time.
Hanna
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace
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Re: I'm Scared to Attend AA for the first time... should I b

Postby PaigeB » Mon Oct 10, 2016 10:19 am

Welcome Valerie.
Here are some words from our book that came to my mind when I read your post:
From the forward The Doctor's Opinion
These men may well have a remedy for thousands of such situations.
You may rely absolutely on anything they say about themselves.
Very truly yours,
William D. Silkworth, M.D.
... once having formed the habit and found they cannot break it, once having lost their self-confidence, their reliance upon things human, their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve. Frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices. The message which can interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth and weight. In nearly all cases, their ideals must be grounded in a power greater than themselves, if they are to re-create their lives.

and from the 7th chapter in our "basic text" (164 pages) on page 89
Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends-this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.

We are pretty nice - we all had to walk into our first meeting and/or our first meeting after our last drink. A friend of mine is fond of saying, "We don't shoot our wounded."

Walk in, sit down next to another woman and tell her you are new. I am sure you will be happily relieved.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: I'm Scared to Attend AA for the first time... should I b

Postby Feeya » Mon Oct 10, 2016 11:05 am

I was so scared to attend my first meeting... So scared I thought I was just going to faint.
I realised that meetings are the place where I feel most understood, most accepted and most comfortable to talk about my feelings.
No one judges, they have all been there.
And after all fear is just an emotion, you've got nothing to lose!
Good luck!
One day at a time.
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Re: I'm Scared to Attend AA for the first time... should I b

Postby Taralou » Fri Oct 28, 2016 2:06 pm

Hi Valerie,

Don't be scared about going to a meeting. In my experience, AA is the only place that I don't feel scared to be.

People there will know exactly what you are feeling and will want to help you.
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Re: I'm Scared to Attend AA for the first time... should I b

Postby positrac » Mon Oct 31, 2016 10:07 am

Honestly your feelings are correct about the initial fear of going into a room with people staring at you. But in life everything new has some kind of uncomfortable moments until we decide what we'll do.

You have nothing to lose and a lot to gain if you honestly try and go back more than once and keep going back until it is a habit. I have no promises outside of the program does work if you want to change your life and get out from under the addiction of alcohol.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
Hopi Proverb
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Re: I'm Scared to Attend AA for the first time... should I b

Postby Roberth » Tue Nov 01, 2016 11:41 am

Hello Valerie, welcome to E-AA and AA. My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. How can you trust people you never met, well you shouldn’t. Trust is something that needs to be earned, from people that is. That is a two way street.
You can trust that there are many of us that have found a solution to our problem with alcoholism. If you are anything like me you may be uncomfortable at first but the laughter is the music of AA that kept me coming back.
It took me almost 90 day to realize AA would truly work for me, and once I did that is when the miracle happened to me. As I look back I may regret some of the things I have done in sobriety but I don’t regret being sober for any of it. This is my 9071st day of doing this thing a day at a time.
Robert
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!
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Re: I'm Scared to Attend AA for the first time... should I b

Postby Sober_RI » Sun Nov 06, 2016 11:22 am

It is completely normal to be scared to go to AA for the first time, I was terrified and cried through most of my first meeting. Try to go to a meeting or two. You don't have to say anything, you can choose to just listen if you want. You don't have to trust anyone with your personal issues until you are ready.
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