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Postby jnito1970 » Sat Oct 08, 2016 3:10 pm

Hello People. Last night I had a talk with my girlfriend after our Home Coming game that we both attended. And the result of the talk ended with me going home and her to her apartment, as she said that it was better if we just did not see each other any more. OK a little about me been sober 9 months now I attend two meetings per week. I am doing great as not craving any Alcohol and yes I have lost my so called friends that would hang out at my house when I drank. Last week took my girl on a 4 day cruise for her birthday and still she is not herself, is always saying she is tired from working so much. I try and talk to her to make her feel better but she says shes tired I totally respect that and just hang up. Now it has me thinking all kinds of crazy thoughts in my mind but I know I will not fall back into drinking as when I feel like that I grab my BB Book and read or say my prayers and that helps me out a lot. I don't know If I should call her or text her to see whats going on. Or just wait give her time and let her think about us. I know I'm no Saint because I may say some stupid stuff and cause an argument. But I think I do that because my mind is still all messed up because of my past drinking. I stopped drinking because I was getting tired of waking up all sick on weekends and some weekdays. But she thinks that I stopped drinking because of her, I tell her that it's all about me first than her. I truly love this girl but I feel confused at times. If it was not for AA I think I would be back drinking because of this little situation that I'm going through at the moment. It would be nice to hear any of your opinions regarding this issue that I'm having at the moment. I know God is going to help me as I ask him every day to give me patience and to let me enjoy another sober day. Thank You all for Reading my first post and all feed back will be truly appreciated from all. "Thank You here is an excerpt from a Mediation I've read and Pray - and keep praying until it brings peace and serenity and a feeling of communion with One who is near and ready to help. The thought of God is balm for our hates and fears. In praying to God, we find healing for hurt feelings and resentments. In thinking of God, doubts and fears leave us. Instead of those doubts, and fears, there will flow into our hearts such faith and love as is beyond the power of material things to give, and such peace as the world can neither give nor take away. And with God, we can have the tolerance to live and let live."
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Re: Break-Up

Postby PuppyEars » Sat Oct 08, 2016 4:18 pm

she said that it was better if we just did not see each other any more

Case closed. Respect her wishes and move on.

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Re: Break-Up

Postby clouds » Sun Oct 09, 2016 7:06 am

Thank you for the meditation! :)

I've been in that situation and looking back, I would have been so much better off if I had let go of that person as soon as the negativity showed up. Instead it dragged on with me feeling pretty insecure most of the time.
One thing that often helps is saying the Step Three Prayer twice a day. It may be there is someone else meant for you, someone you don't know about yet.
Anyway, a lot of us say ' Do the next right thing and leave the results to God.'
Get to some extra meetings and find a newcomer to wrok with, this often helps when nothing else does.
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: Break-Up

Postby beginningagain7 » Sun Oct 09, 2016 7:49 am

We have a saying, "This to will pass."

Relationship are a touchy subject when one person decides to quit drinking. The other person doesn't understand why the sudden change. They are use to the way you were when you were drinking. So they get concerned if they will like the new person that comes with quitting drinking. You didn't say in your post that she has asked you to quit. And she was happy the way things were going. She doesn't really understand why the change even though you told her.

The important issue here is that you need to work on you and how are you going to adjust you life to this new kind of living, sober. So my suggestion is accept the situation as it is and keep moving forward on this journey to recovery.
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Re: Break-Up

Postby jnito1970 » Sun Oct 09, 2016 1:02 pm

Thank You for the advice and I will do my best to move on from this situation. This morning after morning Mass, I really thought about the relationship and how I prayed and asked GOD to help me out. I also told myself upon leaving Church that I was cool and I was not going to worry or beg her. I stopped at the store bought a card wrote in it that I was not begging her but thanking her for being there for me when I needed support and that hope our friendship can stay good no bad things to say about each other, as I respect her and her decision. I can handle it as I've been through worst. Again Thank you for response or advice and I will keep on with my AA meetings and my Higher Power as I know that is helping me out the best. And like what my buddy said treat this breakup as you are treating your sobriety. Believe in you and God and all will be Good.
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