WANT TO KNOW

New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.
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math101
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WANT TO KNOW

Post by math101 »

Am new to AA. Yesterday I went to my first meeting. I HAVE A QUESTION. Four days ago I called the AA helpline. The kind gentleman who answered my call, has been giving me good advise, and has shared his personal phone number with me. We talk everyday. I like that. But for decades, no one has been that nice to me, so I find it strange. PLEASE ASSURE ME THAT THIS IS NOT STRANGE. Thank you.

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Spirit Flower
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Re: WANT TO KNOW

Post by Spirit Flower »

Welcome Math. People in AA are ex-drunks. We know how you feel. We've been there. So we just open the door and try to help any new person who wants to get sober and try our way of life. We give complete strangers rides to meetings. We all had terrible lives and people hated us.

But, after working the AA program, we became different people.
...a score card reading zero...

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avaneesh912
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Re: WANT TO KNOW

Post by avaneesh912 »

no one has been that nice to me,
Thats the compassion we show toward our fellow men and women. We know how it feels best of all we have used the 12 steps to overcome the malady. Have you run into the "Drunk falling into a hole" story?

DRUNK FELL IN A HOLE AND COULDN'T GET OUT

A businessman went by. The drunk called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him, "Get yourself a ladder." But the drunk \could not find a ladder in this hole he was in.

A doctor walked by. The drunk said, "Help, I can't get out." The doctor gave him drugs and said, "Take this, it will relieve the pain," The drunk said thanks, but when the pills ran out, he was still in the hole.

A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the drunk's cries for help, He stooped and said, "How did you get there? Were you born there? Were you put there by your parents? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness." So the drunk talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he'd be back next week. The drunk thanked him, but he was still in his hole.

A priest came by. The drunk called for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said I'll say a prayer for you. He got down on his knees and prayed for the drunk, then left. The drunk was very grateful, he read the
Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole.

A recovering alcoholic happened to be passing by. The drunk cried out, "Hey, help me, I'm stuck in this hole." Right away, the recovering alcoholic jumped in the hole with him. The drunk said, "What are you doing? Now we're both stuck here." But the recovering alcoholic said, "It's okay, I've been here before, I know how to get out."
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

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math101
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Re: WANT TO KNOW

Post by math101 »

Thank you SF and AV, you both have given me hope.

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PaigeB
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Re: WANT TO KNOW

Post by PaigeB »

A recovering alcoholic happened to be passing by. The drunk cried out, "Hey, help me, I'm stuck in this hole." Right away, the recovering alcoholic jumped in the hole with him. The drunk said, "What are you doing? Now we're both stuck here." But the recovering alcoholic said, "It's okay, I've been here before, I know how to get out."
Good story! I might have to use that someday!
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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Duke
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Re: WANT TO KNOW

Post by Duke »

Welcome Math. Rest assured, it's not strange at all. Daily contact with others in the program and those still struggling to find their way is one of the highlights of my life.

We're not all the same, and I doubt everyone you meet will resonate as strongly with you as this first fellow has, but we all care and are committed to be there when you or anyone else reaches out for help.

So, keep reaching. There is hope.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa

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Layne
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Re: WANT TO KNOW

Post by Layne »

I remember my first contact with people in AA as clearly as if it were yesterday. I received total compassion, empathy, and felt a common bond and kinship. I also just as clearly remember my feelings and emotions prior to that first contact. I never want anyone to experience the loneliness and hopelessness that was coursing through my veins at that time and when I encounter someone that is experiencing those same feelings, I can't help but reach out and let them know that they are not alone and that there is indeed a way out. Paying back what I received upon my first contact with AA is nothing short of a true joy and just one of the miracles of this program. Glad you are here! Welcome.

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math101
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Re: WANT TO KNOW

Post by math101 »

Just came back from my second AA meeting, and the question keeps arising, "WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE, AND WHY ARE THEY SO CARING." Of course its beautiful, and of course I like it, BUT I NEVER THOUGHT ANYONE WOULD EVER CARE. Thanks Layne. Its strange, new, and nice, just to know that someone cares.

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Layne
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Re: WANT TO KNOW

Post by Layne »

How could we not? To do so would be to deny our very selves.

D'oh
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Re: WANT TO KNOW

Post by D'oh »

Once one Alcoholic, implant into the mind of another Alcoholic, the True Nature of his Malady.
Math, we were all once in the same place that you are. We know the Hell that we had to go through to get through the Doors of AA. Most you will find in the Program will be that kind, because we have gone through it Our self's

Good Luck on your Path, you have already taken the Hardest Step.

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math101
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Re: WANT TO KNOW

Post by math101 »

Off to work soon. Like to start my day by thanking you all.
For decades my ONLY connection was a substance, alcohol. I had given up the desire to make any human connections. But I think I have found a way, a place, where there are who were like me, am coming there tonight, to my third AA meeting. Thank you again.

lanka2x
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Re: WANT TO KNOW

Post by lanka2x »

Sounds like you have connected with a solid and caring group. At some point soon another will come in for the first time, newly sober. If you appreciate those who were welcoming to you the way to demonstrate that is to try and make the newer person feel comfortable and welcomed.

As important as being welcomed and made to feel safe was to you, it will be just as important to them.

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Tosh
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Re: WANT TO KNOW

Post by Tosh »

math101 wrote:Am new to AA. Yesterday I went to my first meeting. I HAVE A QUESTION. Four days ago I called the AA helpline. The kind gentleman who answered my call, has been giving me good advise, and has shared his personal phone number with me. We talk everyday. I like that. But for decades, no one has been that nice to me, so I find it strange. PLEASE ASSURE ME THAT THIS IS NOT STRANGE. Thank you.
It's normal; we're daft like that in A.A.. Early on in recovery an ex-professional football player (I don't follow football so didn't know him from 'Adam') gave me a hug.

I thought that was mega weird; in my background (ex British military) we DO NOT hug.

To be honest, I quite liked it, but don't tell anyone I told you that.

We're a friendly lot; we have to be. Isolating ourselves from others is all part of the illness of alcoholism.

I'm glad you're here.

Regards

Tosh
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)

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Roberth
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Re: WANT TO KNOW

Post by Roberth »

Hello Math101 and welcome to E-AA. My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic
math101 wrote:Am new to AA. Yesterday I went to my first meeting. I HAVE A QUESTION. Four days ago I called the AA helpline. The kind gentleman who answered my call, has been giving me good advise, and has shared his personal phone number with me. We talk everyday. I like that. But for decades, no one has been that nice to me, so I find it strange. PLEASE ASSURE ME THAT THIS IS NOT STRANGE. Thank you.
If you think that is strange, well stick around, that is just the tip of the strange iceberg...LOL... Never thought I would be hanging out on LA’s skid row and now I head down every chance I get. Who knew??????
Robert
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!

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ezdzit247
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Re: WANT TO KNOW

Post by ezdzit247 »

Hi Math and welcome.

Thank you for sharing your experience with the AA fellowship. I experienced AA's crazy wonderful sober drunks the same way when I was new and still do. The outside world can sometimes feel cold, lonely, and uncaring but I've never felt that way "in the rooms". So glad you found us.

Keep coming back....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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