An Angry drunk starting new again

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An Angry drunk starting new again

Postby hankb5 » Mon Aug 22, 2016 2:25 pm

Hi my name is Henry and i am an alcoholic.
I am starting new again after a 3 week horrible bender. I am currently 3 days sober and im still dealing with withdrawal symptoms...Besides having shakes and tremors and insomnia i having extreme anxiety. I use to calm these with marijuana in the past while stopping my first few days but not this time. I want to be clean for good. I am to anxious and have made my self a fool by going drunk and out of my mind to AA meetings that i fear going to them now. I have lost everything worthwhile in life while drinking heavy the past 3 years...i lost all friends, my future wife, the ability to see my 18 month daughter, all family except my father, havent had a job in 2 years. I ended up on 5150 holds (4) for alcohol induzed psychosis, been to jail for druken actions etc. When i drink i cant stop and get violent. (I break things, argue with people etc) thats why i drink at home. Can someone relate or know other alcoholics who can? What are my options because i want to leave the drink for good. I hit all 3 places the big book talk about (jails,hospitals,and institutions 5150 holds for 24 hour periods olny.) sorry for writting so much...thanks...
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Re: An Angry drunk starting new again

Postby Brock » Mon Aug 22, 2016 2:51 pm

Welcome here Hank.

There are people like you here, maybe some who had to dig even deeper before we hit bottom. I was in and out of AA for years myself, and only surrendered after a two week stint in a third world psychiatric hospital, admitted against my will.

It's my experience that AA groups and the people in them, are the most forgiving things in the world, they were happy to have me back, and they will be happy to have you. The thing I did different was follow what they said about those steps, in another thread we have a discussion “Time Frame for Completion,” you will find that the work required, (which is much easier than it looks on paper), can be done in a short time, and I found out it's so true what they say about the problem no longer existing for us.

Never been happier than I am now, and wishing the same for you, best of luck.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: An Angry drunk starting new again

Postby Lali » Mon Aug 22, 2016 3:16 pm

There is so much unnecessary wasted time when people put off meetings over fear. So far since I have been on these forums, I can't recall anyone who was afraid of meetings coming back here after one and saying they regretted going. Quite the opposite. No one is going to judge you.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. Get up and get going.

P.S. I highly suggest you see a doctor. Detox can be fatal. The doctor may even give you a mild tranquilizer for the shakes which will also help you with your anxiety.
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Re: An Angry drunk starting new again

Postby avaneesh912 » Mon Aug 22, 2016 3:48 pm

When i drink i cant stop and get violent
.

Thats just the piece after you put alcohol in your body. But an alcoholic will go back to that. Thats the key. Thats the mental part of the disease. No matter how many meetings you go to and hide, you will eventually have to start working on yourself and change.

The subtle in-sanity that precedes the first drink. Thats what you want to overcome.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: An Angry drunk starting new again

Postby Stepchild » Mon Aug 22, 2016 4:38 pm

I hit all 3 places the big book talk about (jails,hospitals,and institutions 5150 holds for 24 hour periods olny.)


Don't forget about this one....

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.

Pgs 84-85

I relate to your story....The answers are in the book.
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Re: An Angry drunk starting new again

Postby hankb5 » Mon Aug 22, 2016 11:14 pm

Thank you all for your views and advice....its nice to talk to alcoholics who can relate.....i hope i do things right now....
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Re: An Angry drunk starting new again

Postby positrac » Tue Aug 23, 2016 2:46 am

I can relate to your post and getting sober all the way is the first giant step, and staying off the other mind altering things will assist in true and total sobriety.

One second, minute, hour, and day at a time and it will eventually get better. You have a life time of work to do during this life and so pace yourself -----might feel like the sky if falling but it is not.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
Hopi Proverb
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Re: An Angry drunk starting new again

Postby Sobrietyandjudo » Tue Aug 23, 2016 8:52 am

Welcome to the site brother. Your story really touched home for me I am the same way when I drink. I'm also in the beginning stages of my sobriety. i'm a little over two weeks in and I must say I feel amazing! Waking up without the fear of "what did I do last night" or being hung over is so great! It seems like the sun is shining a little brighter these days. Just hang in there one day at a time.
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Re: An Angry drunk starting new again

Postby Roberth » Tue Aug 23, 2016 11:28 am

Hello Henry and well to E-AA. My name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. From what you stated, you don’t have much to lose by going back to AA.

Your story is quite common. I have seen friends show up on Los Angeles Skid Row that tried their own methods to AA which didn’t work. When you talk about losing everything they lost it all except their lives.

You do have choices

I hope if I see you down on Skid Row it's to help my home group carrying the AA message to the homeless.
Robert
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!
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Re: An Angry drunk starting new again

Postby ezdzit247 » Tue Aug 23, 2016 5:18 pm

Welcome Henry.

Here's a 24 hour chip for you to celebrate your desire to stay sober.

Image

If you'd like to try going to a meeting today, please call your local AA helpline number and ask to speak to a sober alcoholic. They will be glad to take you to a meeting or just talk for a while if you prefer. The way AA works is someday, maybe sooner than you think, you will be the sober AA member who reaches out to help another suffering alcoholic and your ESH will give him hope that he too can stay sober and turn his life around.

Keep coming back.....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: An Angry drunk starting new again

Postby tyg » Tue Aug 23, 2016 10:11 pm

It doesn't matter what a person has or has not done. Everyone is welcomed and not judged. No matter what has happened in our life, I know now that we are not alone in our experiences and troubles, especially in the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. This program changes us, we grow and become different people and this allows us to leave the regrets and past behind us as we journey into a new way of living. We find that our personal experience, strength & hope (as will yours) will be able to help other suffering alcoholics.

You asked about options for the alcoholic. There are only two: To be doomed to an alcoholic death or live on a spiritual basis. Pardon my bluntness but alcoholism is a serious illness and it is amazing how the mental twists in our thinking can easily make light of the matter.

It is true what AA says:
The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death. Pg. 30
~The secret to the AA program is the first three words on page 112~
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Re: An Angry drunk starting new again

Postby Tosh » Wed Aug 24, 2016 12:05 am

hankb5 wrote: I am to anxious and have made my self a fool by going drunk and out of my mind to AA meetings that i fear going to them now.


Hi Henry,

Don't worry about this, friend. Even our glorious cult-co founder, Bill W, did something very similar when he testified (shared) at an Oxford Group Meeting (which is where A.A. came from) when he was off his face on booze. He was highly embarrassed about that also.

Loads of folk do it; some of my favourite A.A. members who now have substantial sobriety time have done it.

There is nothing to be ashamed of; I bet almost every alcoholic in existence has gotten drunk and done many things we've regretted. I could tell you some stories about myself. :lol: We all understand what that feels like.

Just keep coming back; A.A. is the perfect place for people like us.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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