is this for real?

New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.

is this for real?

Postby nevergonnagetwell » Sun Aug 21, 2016 6:40 pm

Dead serious, how serious is online or telephone help with alcoholism and or addiction? Do you think someone could recover using online or telephone groups only? I find it hard to imagine. Please don't think I'm insulting this type of help or this group or anyone. I want to know because I have a loved one who is an addict, in serious trouble, with her third relapse. She is not getting any help other than 'telephone group'. Do any of you think she'll succeed in sobriety. She is addicted to heroin. I found this group by looking on google for telephone AA/NA groups. Thanks for any answers. I am very concerned and I am prepared for her death. I have got a naloxone kit from the pharmacy, but she doesn't even live with me, so I'm not sure how helpful it would be if needed. The area we live in, heroin addiction and deaths are epidemic.
nevergonnagetwell
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2016 4:54 pm

Re: is this for real?

Postby 4thDimension » Sun Aug 21, 2016 7:35 pm

I don't have experience as a heroin user. As an alcoholic, I've found it essential to attend meetings, work the 12 steps, have a sponsor, call other people in the program weekly on the phone, read the Big Book, read other recovery literature and information, help others, participate ACTIVELY in service work, do other things that people at meetings suggest, and stay in the middle of the boat.
4thDimension
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 165
Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2014 10:54 pm

Re: is this for real?

Postby D'oh » Sun Aug 21, 2016 7:49 pm

I treat it as a supplement to F2F Meetings. At first I was just sitting around thinking "I can't wait for a Meeting tonight." moments when I found this Forum. Then I found it to be very helpful with Reflecting and Meditating. And possibly a Step before the Step through the doors of a F2F meeting for some.
D'oh
Forums Long Timer
 
Posts: 721
Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2015 10:51 am

Re: is this for real?

Postby tyg » Sun Aug 21, 2016 8:37 pm

Nar-Anon offers wonderful support for friends and families of addicts. They also have a Forum like this. You'd probably get a lot of good information there on how to help them while not allowing their addiction to create dysfunction in your life. Just google, "Nar-Anon Support Forum"

I don't know about addicts but, there are alcoholics who are home bound and they can and do recover. The principles are the same. We take the 12 Steps with another to learn how to apply them in life and do service work as well as help other alcoholics by showing them 1-on-1 how they can recover. The motivation for sobriety has to come from within. Until then, people usually won't do all the work necessary to get well.
~The secret to the AA program is the first three words on page 112~
User avatar
tyg
Forums Long Timer
 
Posts: 574
Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 6:34 pm

Re: is this for real?

Postby Feeya » Sun Aug 21, 2016 9:31 pm

nevergonnagetwell wrote:She is addicted to heroin.

No. She needs to go to f2f NA meetings and start working the steps.
And I agree with the above, see if you can get to an Nar-Anon meeting!
One day at a time.
User avatar
Feeya
Forums Contributor
 
Posts: 326
Joined: Sat May 21, 2016 6:53 am

Re: is this for real?

Postby Brock » Mon Aug 22, 2016 6:02 am

Well done for caring enough about someone else to be asking questions here.

The fact that she has relapsed three times, either indicates that she is not serious enough about recovery, or that she hasn’t found the right type of help. Most if not all the members here, speak about using live meetings as their primary recovery, and sites like this are secondary, but I don't believe anyone should ever say people can't recover without live meetings. The reply from tyg was correct, in that there are people without access to meetings who do recover once motivated sufficiently, but as already stated, someone who has relapsed three times already, might need more motivation and every avenue of assistance possible.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
User avatar
Brock
Forums Coordinator
 
Posts: 3175
Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:45 pm

Re: is this for real?

Postby Roberth » Mon Aug 22, 2016 8:53 am

Hello nevergonnagetwell, my name is Robert and I am a Los Angeles area alcoholic. I wish I could tell you what would work for your friend but I can only tell you what has worked for me. I stopped using heroin when I got my orders to come home from Viet Nam. That is all it took for me but I am not an addict. It took a lot more for me to stop drinking.
My advice to you would be for you to get in touch with the Alanon group in your area. The disease of addiction not only affect the user but the family members as well….they can give you a better understanding of what your friend is dealing with.
Robert
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!
User avatar
Roberth
Forums Long Timer
 
Posts: 630
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:53 pm
Location: In The High Desert of California

Re: is this for real?

Postby nevergonnagetwell » Mon Aug 22, 2016 5:36 pm

thank you all so much for your responses, you have given me a little hope, tomorrow she is supposed to start iop but she was also supposed to start iop last Tuesday and did not make it. she has said she has gone to 2 meetings but I think they were both online. my biggest fear is she is not motivated enough within herself and I cannot understand this because she has 4 beautiful young children. I do not understand how this cannot or is not enough but in 3 weeks time she has only seen her children one time and only talked to them 2 times. she says all the right things but her actions show something different, she could spend 500 a day on heroin but says she doesn't have a car to get to a meeting and no tokens for the bus?? does not make sense to me.
nevergonnagetwell
Forums Newcomer
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2016 4:54 pm

Re: is this for real?

Postby serendipity » Mon Aug 22, 2016 6:59 pm

nevergonnagetwell wrote:thank you all so much for your responses, you have given me a little hope, tomorrow she is supposed to start iop but she was also supposed to start iop last Tuesday and did not make it. she has said she has gone to 2 meetings but I think they were both online. my biggest fear is she is not motivated enough within herself and I cannot understand this because she has 4 beautiful young children. I do not understand how this cannot or is not enough but in 3 weeks time she has only seen her children one time and only talked to them 2 times. she says all the right things but her actions show something different, she could spend 500 a day on heroin but says she doesn't have a car to get to a meeting and no tokens for the bus?? does not make sense to me.


Addiction and alcoholism are cunning, baffling and powerful. It's hard for someone on the outside to make sense of the madness, when we ourselves have a hard time with that. She will have to choose to do this. You can love her and want this for her until the cows come home, but ultimately she is going to be the one to have to do the work. I will pray for your friend. Sending lots of love and light.
User avatar
serendipity
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 51
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 8:34 am


Return to For the Newcomer

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 4 guests