Can I go back

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Re: Can I go back

Postby Larryp713 » Wed Aug 24, 2016 10:27 am

This is a pretty fascinating thread, and thanks for sharing Donald. The only thing I can add, and really just restating others, is that an alcoholic is somebody that cannot control their drinking. I loved the effect of alcohol, and most of the time I had no negative consequences when I drank. But I had some really bad nights and it started to damage my relationships and work. I started to obsess over alcohol and wanted to drink for almost every occasion. I could not always control how much I drank, and could not completely quit or regulate. I finally reached a level of desperation where I did not want to drink any more, and yet I couldn't not drink. I had to become desperate in order to try something different, which is what I found in AA.

If you're not desperate, and you are still enjoying your drinking, I don't think you will be able to really work this program. It takes quite a bit of humility. Gaining a little weight and nagging from the wife was not enough to get me desperate. It took many personal promises to myself that I was going to quit drinking, and not being able to, that finally got me to a point of willingness. As has been said - we aren't going anywhere. Try everything you can think of to moderate or quit on your own. If you get really desperate, and you have run out of ideas, AA will be here for you. Until then, cheers and all the best!!! Larry
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Re: Can I go back

Postby avaneesh912 » Wed Aug 24, 2016 12:05 pm

I was always happy with 3 pints on a Saturday night, that was it. The only other time i'd drink was if we had a party, wedding, friends get together etc.


Are you drinking 3 pints every day? Thats 6 packs in US standards right? I would say you are drinking more than what doctors drink as normal.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Can I go back

Postby ezdzit247 » Wed Aug 24, 2016 12:34 pm

DonaldDuck wrote:
You misunderstood me. I NEVER drink and drive!


I am very glad to receive your assurance that I misunderstood what you wrote in your posts.

Again, if you want to put the plug in the jug and get sober, there's a couple of hundred years of collective experience, hope, and strength among AA members in this little forum alone who are willing to help you do that. If you don't want to get sober, that's okay too. The AA fellowship will still be around when and if you ever do want to get sober.

I got sober in southern California, near Los Angeles, and I've been sober for a while now. I've met very few AA members who drank away everything and everyone in their lives, landed on skid row and then got sober. My ESH is that by the time an alcoholic lands on skid row, the "I-don't-care" switch in their brain has already been in the "on" position for quite a while and very few are interested in trying to make a come back. In fact, the only former skid row drunk I've ever met in AA, besides Clancy I.. was one of Clancy's 12th Step successes, a brilliant man who had been a concert pianist and had survived 25 years as a drunk on L.A.'s skid row before he finally got sober. Most of the AA members I've known have been very successful business and professional people--doctors, psychologists, dentists, nurses, lawyers, judges, college professors, artists, musicians etc, and lots of celebrities--including athletes, artists, musicians, singer/songwriters, actors, actresses, producers, directors, etc (who all claim they have done their best work AFTER getting sober) who were 12th Stepped by someone in AA or had a moment of clarity and "saw" where their drinking was leading them. AA is for people who know they have a drinking problem AND have a desire to stay sober. If you don't have that desire and your goal is to cut down on your drinking rather than quit entirely, you might want to seek a psychologist who specializes in behavioral therapy or take some classes at your local college or university on the cognitive behavioral approach to achieving change in problem behavior.

You are welcome to hang out here on the e-aa forums, read the different threads, or ask any questions you may have about our collective experience with the disease of alcoholism, but the AA program is a spiritual approach to bringing this disease into remission and requires a commitment to total abstinence, one day at a time, and working through each of the 12 Steps. I have no idea whether this approach would work for someone who doesn't think they are an alcoholic, but you are welcome to try it if you'd like to give it a go. Might help and can't hurt, right?.... :wink:
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Re: Can I go back

Postby PuppyEars » Wed Aug 24, 2016 1:36 pm

. I've met very few AA members who drank away everything and everyone in their lives, landed on skid row and then got sober.

Hi ezdzit that is what makes the internet great. Now you are amongst another one of those types :D
I am from the opposite almost to a fault. Since I have only been introduced and got sober in rooms full of the skid row type, I am still adjusting to the fact that one can be alcoholic but be saved before they destroy everything. You can't find that type where I am from.

Great post by the way.
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Re: Can I go back

Postby DonaldDuck » Wed Aug 24, 2016 11:16 pm

avaneesh912 wrote:
I was always happy with 3 pints on a Saturday night, that was it. The only other time i'd drink was if we had a party, wedding, friends get together etc.


Are you drinking 3 pints every day? Thats 6 packs in US standards right? I would say you are drinking more than what doctors drink as normal.


I drink either a bottle of Wine or Amaretto almost every night. I know it's too much too often, that's why I came here. Hopefully I can control it before it goes too far....
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Re: Can I go back

Postby DonaldDuck » Wed Aug 24, 2016 11:17 pm

I either walk or cycle from work to home, never drive.
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Re: Can I go back

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu Aug 25, 2016 3:44 am

I drink either a bottle of Wine or Amaretto almost every night. I know it's too much too often, that's why I came here. Hopefully I can control it before it goes too far....


It all depends on what you mean by a bottle of wine. Back in India they use to use a one brand of wine. It was 180 ml like the Coke can. If you can just drink consistently everyday, I bet the doctors are going to say its good for your heart. If you are talking about larger than that, yes, definitely its an issue.

I don't think you are in a state where you will listen to us. You will be experimenting the moderation for few more years. And then you will realize that moderation is not going to work. Then you are going to try staying sopped. And then if that doesn't work you may then try our program.

Good luck.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Can I go back

Postby Brock » Thu Aug 25, 2016 4:44 am

I agree with anyone who says he is not at a stage were the AA program will appeal, you have to reach a certain level of desperation before being willing to do what is asked, the book is clear in identifying those who can't stop on their own -
...      moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor entirely if they have good reason for it. They can take it or leave it alone.
...      Then we have a certain type of hard drinker. He may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally. It may cause him to die a few years before his time. If a sufficiently strong reason ill health, falling in love, change of environment, or the warning of a doctor becomes operative, this man can also stop or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention.
...      But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink.

People have said we are here to help if you ever need us, as are AA meetings in your area, the posts here are closed off after five pages and this one will end soon.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Can I go back

Postby avaneesh912 » Fri Aug 26, 2016 6:47 am

There is this part of the book, that lays it out like it is. No sugar coating. This is the baffling nature of the disease. The candidate has to realize this.

How true this is, few realize. In a vague way their families and friends sense that these drinkers are abnormal, but everybody hopefully awaits the day when the sufferer will rouse himself from his lethargy and assert his power of will.

The tragic truth is that if the man be a real alcoholic, the happy day may not arrive. He has lost control. At a certain point in the drinking of every alcoholic, he passes into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking is of absolutely no avail. This tragic situation has already arrived in practically every case long before it is suspected.


When they say "He has lost control" what they mean is just not after they take drink. Before too. They follow this with the more direct message that we are without defense against the first drink.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Can I go back

Postby Lali » Fri Aug 26, 2016 7:08 am

First, Donald, I apologize for assuming you drive drunk. Secondly, as Brock said, posts are closed at the end of 5 pages so don't take it personally as we will soon be there. Feel free to start a new post. Lastly, there is a test you can take to see if you are an alcoholic. Just google "Am I an Alcoholic Self Test". I actually had a slightly low score, yet KNOW I'm alcoholic. Maybe I wasn't entirely honest when I took that test over 6 years ago.
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Re: Can I go back

Postby PaigeB » Fri Aug 26, 2016 10:53 am

Here is the e-aa Newcomer's packet for you
http://www.e-aa.org/about_aa.php

Feel free to go through all the AA literature posted at our General Service Office
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/aa-literature

I am now closing this thread at 5 pages.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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